Faith Enough to Heal

There was a woman afflicted with hemorrhages for twelve years. She had suffered greatly at the hands of many doctors and had spent all that she had. Yet she was not helped but only grew worse. She had heard about Jesus and came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak. She said, "If I but touch his clothes, I shall be cured." Immediately her flow of blood dried up. She felt in her body that she was healed of her affliction. Jesus, aware at once that power had gone out from him, turned around in the crowd and asked, "Who has touched my clothes?" But his disciples said to him, "You see how the crowd is pressing upon you, and yet you ask, Who touched me?" And he looked around to see who had done it.

The woman, realizing what had happened to her, approached in fear and trembling. She fell down before Jesus and told him the whole truth. He said to her, "Daughter, your faith has saved you. Go in peace and be cured of your affliction."  (Mark 5: 25-34)

I love today’s gospel story of the woman with the hemorrhages. So often I have prayed that I could be her. That Jesus would instantly heal me of my wounds. Maybe it is a lack of faith that has prevented this from happening but I am not sure. I encounter people every day that have incredible faith and they are not cured. The beautiful thing about it is that their faith doesn’t waiver even though their child is suffering greatly.

Our wounds sometimes run so deep and affect many aspects of our life. I know that the things I struggle with the most right now are directly related to the deep wounds that were inflicted on me as a child. And while the Lord has allowed incredible healing to occur in my life, there is still a lot of pain and more healing that needs to occur. I do know there is beauty in my struggles because they keep me humble. They sometimes knock me to my knees, the perfect place for calling on my Lord and Savior. They help me to draw closer to Him. Sometimes when I think I have things under control I test the situation to see how I am doing. In some things I am doing fine but others, I am not. I feel the pain again, usually inflicted by me, because I am not healed and I need to protect my heart. I thank God for never letting me go. I know my healing won’t be instantaneous like the woman in today’s gospel but that is fine. I am thankful that Christ is carrying my cross with me and that he stops and helps me get back up whenever I stumble and fall because of my pride or selfishness. I know he will continue to bear this with me until it is my time to come into His glory.  

Cultivating Our Faith

“On that day, as evening drew on, Jesus said to his disciples: ‘Let us cross to the other side.’ Leaving the crowd, they took Jesus with them in the boat just as he was. And other boats were with him. A violent squall came up and waves were breaking over the boat, so that it was already filling up. Jesus was in the stern, asleep on a cushion. They woke him and said to him, ‘Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?’ He woke up, rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, ‘Quiet! Be still!’ The wind ceased and there was great calm. Then he asked them, ‘Why are you terrified? Do you not yet have faith?’ They were filled with great awe and said to one another, ‘Who then is this whom even wind and sea obey?’”  (Mark 4:35-41)

This story about Jesus calming the storm at sea appears in all three synoptic gospels. What I like about this version of the story is that Jesus asks the disciples, “Do you not yet have faith?” In the other two gospels he says, “O you of little faith” (Matthew 8: 26) and “where is your faith?” (Luke 8:25) I feel like his words are more sympathetic and loving in Mark’s gospel. It is early in his ministry and the disciples are fairly new followers of his. They have seen miracles performed by Jesus and they have heard many parables but their faith is still in its infancy. And Jesus’ words speak to this. The word “yet” indicates that Jesus knows their faith will be great one day but it isn’t there yet. They were fisherman so they knew how powerful the storms on the sea could be. They had a natural fear that we all do when we have seen the devastation that can come from violent storms. Why would they think that having Jesus in the boat with them would change the course of the storm? Over time, they will learn that Jesus has power over all things and their faith will reflect this.

Our faith is a gift from God but in order for our faith to grow we must cultivate it. Faith is trusting that God keeps His Word. We cannot trust God if we don’t know Him. In order to know Him we need to spend time with him. Like all of our relationships, we can’t know someone if we don’t spend time with them. We learn more about God by reading scripture. God wants his Word to be a delight to us, so much that we meditate on it day and night. Those who take delight in his Word are, “like a tree planted near streams of water, that yield its fruit in season; its leaves never wither; whatever they do prospers.” (Psalm 1:3) Our faith isn’t something that we dedicate an hour to on Sundays but something that we live each and every day. If we stop pursuing Christ, we are letting our relationship with him deteriorate. We never grow closer to Christ when we just live life; it takes deliberate pursuit and attentiveness. So let us continually and deliberately draw closer to Christ so that in all things and all circumstances we will know in our very soul that we are never alone and that He always cares. 

Dare to Believe

Sometimes there are moments in our lives that are so overwhelming; the pain, sadness, fear seem to take our breath away and it is hard to believe that something good can come out of the situation. Yesterday, one of the families at the hospital was in that place. We had to tell them that the cancer in their son’s leg was getting bigger not smaller like we hoped. So the surgery we talked about last week was no longer an option. Now the only way to be sure that we get all the cancer is to amputate his entire leg. The parents had a hard time wrapping their head around that. They kept asking if there was another way. They were so worried that their son will become very depressed. When he was first diagnosed he was in a lot of pain and felt sick from the chemotherapy. He told his parents that he would just like to die and be done with it. This is what a 9 year old boy is dealing with! His dad doesn’t want us to tell him that he will have his leg amputated. We told his dad that he has to know; waking up from surgery without his leg would be more traumatic and we would lose his trust. We had to help them see that having their son alive with one leg is better than him dying.

I told them there are several kids who only have one leg and they are doing incredible things. A group of them are going on a ski trip next week. On our teen retreat, one of the boys has only one leg and he is faster on his crutches than most of the teens with two legs. He prefers his crutches over his prosthesis because he is much faster on the crutches. I remember a few years ago a teenage boy crying and begging us not to cut his leg off. This same young man is 2 years out from completing chemotherapy and graduating from high school this year. He is proud of his Cheetah prosthesis and he is able to run and play basketball which he loves. We know how to help them through this horrible situation. It is our job to help them dare to believe that something good can come out of this and to help them remain hopeful.

“Would dare you, would you dare, to believe, that you still have a reason to sing, 'cause the pain you've been feeling, can't compare to the joy that's coming so hold on, you got to wait for the light, press on, just fight the good fight because the pain you've been feeling, It’s just the hurt before the healing, the pain you’ve been feeling, just the dark before the morning. Once you feel the way of glory, all your pain will fade to memory…”  “Before the Morning” by Josh Wilson

Our Daily Conversion

Today is the Feast of the Conversion of St. Paul the Apostle. This is certainly a day that should bring hope to us all. Saul was one of the main persecutors of Christians in his time.  “Saul, still breathing murderous threats against the disciples of the Lord, went to the high priest and asked him for letters to the synagogues in Damascus, that, if he should find any men or women who belonged to the Way, he might bring them back to Jerusalem in chains.” (Acts 9: 1-2) His reputation was wide spread. When Ananias was asked by the Lord to go to Saul he did not want to go. He had heard from many sources the evil things Saul had done to the Christians in Jerusalem and that he had authority to do the same in Damascus.

Saul was on his way to Damascus to persecute more Christians when he received his call from Jesus himself. Could you imagine the Lord asking you why you were persecuting him? Sometimes through prayer I feel that God is calling me to do something specific to further his kingdom. Sometimes they are easy things I don’t mind doing and sometimes they are hard. What the Lord was asking of Saul was a complete 180°. Those that were persecuting the Christians along with Saul probably wondered what the heck was going on? What had gotten into him? And like Ananias, the Christians that knew of his persecutions didn’t trust him. Was his conversion for real?

I recently heard a parent mention that when his son was going through a rebellious period and had turned away from the Church and was doing all the things that he was taught not to do, rather than being devastated by his son’s actions, he said that his son was creating a great witness. He trusted that his son would one day return to the Lord and then what an incredible story he would have to tell. He would have an incredible witness to share about the power of God’s love and mercy that He has for all of his prodigal sons and daughters. Our journey here on earth will always have difficulties and temptations that trip us up. So each day we must choose to continue on this path toward holiness. Our conversion is a life long process that we must renew everyday but the rewards will be beyond our imagination.

Choose Life

Today’s readings remind us to choose God, who is Life. Just like the people of Nineveh, we must repent for our offenses to God and one another. In RCIA today, the talk was on sin. Every time we sin we hurt our relationship with the Lord. Our decision to be a Christian is not a onetime thing and then all is well. It is a decision we must make every day and some days we have to make this decision several times a day. Whenever I am tempted to sin I have a choice. I can give into the temptation or choose life. God knows what is in our hearts; and while others may not see how we are struggling to do good; God is aware and he rejoices in our struggle. He rejoices in our desire to please him, our perseverance and he provides the strength we need to overcome these temptations. We can’t allow our sin to lead us into despair and to think that it is hopeless to overcome those sins that keep tripping us up. Paul reminds us in his letter to the Romans, “Where sin increased, grace overflowed all the more, so that, as sin reigned in death, grace also might reign through justification for eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” (Romans 5:20-21) God is always waiting for us to return to him, just like the prodigal son.

Today is also the 39^th anniversary of the court decision in Roe v Wade that legalized abortion.  Since this judgment, over 50 million children have been murdered. During his homily, Fr. Jason stated that “this has been genocide on an unthinkable level. There are other areas of life that need attention as well- but none whose evil is as widespread as abortion. The bishops remind us that over 3,000 babies each day die within the womb of their mother. This creates a great wound in the mothers of these children and society as a whole.” We need to put an end to our culture of death and choose life. We need to be the voice for those who are unable to speak for themselves. 

Rising Above Ourselves

What an opportunity David had, he is in a cave and his enemy, the man seeking to kill him, walks right into his grasp. He could have killed him and no one, other than the men who were with him, would have known. His servants even reminded him what the Lord had said to David, “I will deliver your enemy into your grasp; do with him as you see fit.” (1 Samuel 24:5) Do with him as you see fit, wow, that puts the ball back in David’s court. He could easily explain his actions as those of God’s will. But would that be what was fit? He is then reminded that God forbid him to lay a hand on His anointed. 

Have you ever found yourself in a similar situation? Everything seems to fall into place and it would be easy to retaliate for a hurt done to you? It would only be fair, right? That is what they deserve, right? I was in a similar situation last summer. Someone who had hurt me deeply had moved across town and was now living near my son’s college. I had let his betrayal keep me in a dark place and one Saturday I thought, if God allows everything to fall into place, then I will know that He wants me to confront this person and tell him how much he hurt me. Well, things did fall into place, we got my son moved back into his apartment and I had plenty of time to get to the place where I knew he would be. As I headed over there, I asked God to be with me when I confront him and to give me the words to speak. But what God did instead was to show me that this was an opportunity not to confront him but to turn around and go home. An opportunity to let go of the hurt and allow more healing to occur instead of trying to inflict pain on him. The devil was trying to convince me that the “right” thing to do was to confront him. That I have the right to confront him and tell him what his betrayal did to me and hopefully make him feel bad about it. Yes, everything did fall into place but not in order to confront him but to be Christ-like and walk away. To forgive and let go. To lean into God and allow Him to heal this deep wound and to trust in Him. It was very hard to do but I knew it was the right thing to do because my anger, anxiety and fear were replaced with peace.

God gives us many opportunities throughout each day to make right choices, not the choices that we may see as “fit” but to always choose love over hatred, compassion over a hardness of heart, to be selfless instead of selfish, choose humility over pride and mercy over judgment. 

Peaceful Resolutions

In today’s reading Saul is jealous of David. Not because David got all of the attention but because David got more attention. The women came to meet King Saul and were singing and dancing. They praised Saul for the thousands he has slain and also praised David causing Saul to become angry and resentful.

How often does this same emotion rise up in us? How often am I jealous of the attention or affection that someone shows another instead of me? Why am I so easily hurt when someone doesn’t affirm me when I want them to? How quickly I become angry and resentful, just as Saul did. Our emotions are neither right or wrong, what we do with them though may lead us to sin. Saul was so jealous of David that he wanted to kill him! When our emotions get out of control like Saul’s did, we need someone to help us deal with them. What a gift Jonathan was for his father, Saul. He stepped in and reminded Saul that what he was planning was sinful and that David committed no offense against him. Jonathan did this in a loving and gentle way. If we try to intercede like Jonathan did, we must also do it in a loving manner. If we approach the person in a judgmental way then they will immediately get defensive and will not hear a thing we are saying.

Jonathan also protects David from harm. He is a true friend to David. And David does not allow this incident to change him; he continues to serve Saul as he had done before. He wasn’t resentful or angry at Saul for what he planned to do in his fit of rage. This is such a beautiful example of how we can take a situation that is moving in the wrong direction very swiftly, and could end in a harmful outcome for all involved, and make something beautiful out of it. If we were to live as Jonathan did, this world would be a much more peaceful place.