The Paradox of the Cross

An object used for torture and death is now the source of love and life. The Lord wept over the incurable wound which sin had inflicted on his people.  He assumed our wounded humanity and healed it through the wounds he suffered on the cross. ~ Magnificat

“The message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.” (1 Corinthians 1:18) I hadn’t really thought about those who don’t believe or who turn their back on God as perishing. I always saw that as something that will happen in the end but during my reflection these words also reminded me of some other truths that reinforce this scripture passage. In our faith, if we are not moving forward than we are going backward. There is no such thing as stagnant faith. With faith, you don’t get to a place and you’ve “made it” and get comfortable there. God is so amazing and beyond us that there is always more to learn; always room to grow, always a part of ourselves that needs to be refined.

The other truth is, “all that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing” (Edmund Burke). We can’t just sit back because we are good. There is a battle in this world of good and evil. We need to be willing to stand up and fight for what we know is right. There are many examples of this played out in scripture. One example is the parable of the Good Samaritan. The robbers stripped and beat a man, and left him half-dead. Their act was evil, but the priest and Levite allowed the evil to continue by doing nothing. In the days of Elijah, the silence of many had allowed the evil of Ahab and Jezebel to prevail throughout the land of Israel. In the fight against evil there is no middle ground. Jesus tells us, “Whoever is not with me is against me, and whoever does not gather with me scatters.” (Matthew 12:30) Those who are not vigorously fighting against evil are helping evil to triumph.

So we look to the cross as our example of how we are called to live. The obedience of Jesus, symbolized by the cross, is a model for the obedience to God to which we are called. As Jesus said to all, “If anyone wishes to come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.” (Luke 9:23)

John the Baptist

Today is the Passion of St. John the Baptist. There is a beautiful reflection by Pope Benedict XVI in the Magnificat today that I would like to share with you.

“The task set before the Baptist as he lay in prison was to become blessed by this unquestioning acceptance of God’s obscure will; to reach the point of asking no further for external, visible, unequivocal clarity, but, instead, of discovering God precisely in the darkness of this world and of his own life, and thus becoming profoundly blessed. John even in his prison cell had to respond once again and anew to his own call for metanoia or a change of mentality, in order that he might recognize his God in the night in which all things earthly exist. Only when we act in this manner does another-and doubtless the greatest- saying of the Baptist reveal its full significance: ‘He must increase, but I must decrease’ (John 3:30). We will know God to the extent that we are set free from ourselves.”

This beautiful reflection by Pope Benedict reminds me that John the Baptist had the same struggles that we do. During his imprisonment, he had to quiet himself in order to recognize God in the darkness. He had to accept God’s will and not despair. Yes, he knew who Christ was and his purpose on earth was to prepare the way for Him, but we all have to continually choose Christ especially when things are extremely difficult. When we are thrown into complete darkness, by the death of a loved one or a life-threatening illness, we have to find our bearings and steady ourselves even when we know that God is present. Just like John, we have to respond once again and anew to God’s will for us.

John continued to speak about Christ even in prison, “Herod feared John, knowing him to be a righteous and holy man, and kept him in custody. When he heard him speak he was very much perplexed, yet he liked to listen to him” (Mark 6:20). We are called to do the same. We need to allow Christ to reside in us and allow him to fill every fiber of our being while our old, sinful self dies off. When we put Christ first in our life, the unimportant things fall away. We no longer care what others think of us because we are focused on being pleasing to God. We learn to speak the truth just as John did when he told Herod that it was not right for him to have his brother’s wife. It was John speaking this truth that caused him to be thrown into prison. It was this truth that caused so much hate in Herodias’ heart that she had John beheaded. When we allow pride and sin to crowd our thoughts, the truth gets pushed aside. We make rash decisions that can have long-standing consequences. We may at some point regret what we said or did but sometimes what’s done is done and there is no way to make it right. There was no way for Herod to change the outcome of his decision. There was no way to bring John back or to wash the blood of that sin from his hands. 

Making Himself Known

"Thus says the LORD: I will prove the holiness of my great name. Thus the nations shall know that I am the LORD, says the LORD GOD, when in their sight I prove my holiness through you.” (Ezekiel 36:23)

God is telling Ezekiel that he is going to show his holiness through his people, through us! Ezekiel lived before the time of Christ and so this is how God made himself known, through his prophets. And the same holds true for us today, we are all called to be prophets. In order for us to experience God in the flesh and in a tangible way, he uses his people in a way that allows us to experience Him in a very real way. God made us sensual being, we experience love through our senses by the warmth of someone’s touch or their words of comfort, we see compassion and love in each other’s eyes. One way that many people show their love is through food, making someone their favorite dessert or favorite meal.

The Lord goes on to tell Ezekiel how he is going to make this possible. “I will sprinkle clean water upon you to cleanse you from all your impurities, and from all your idols I will cleanse you. I will give you a new heart and place a new spirit within you, taking from your bodies your stony hearts and giving you natural hearts. I will put my spirit within you and make you live by my statutes, careful to observe my decrees. You shall live in the land I gave your ancestors; you shall be my people, and I shall be your God.” (36:25-28)

God can use each one of us to make His kingdom present here on earth. But we have to allow him to change us into the person we were created to be. We need to be docile and allow the Holy Spirit to infuse us with his wisdom to open our eyes and our hearts so that we can see the many opportunities God gives us each and every day to be his hands and feet. How amazing that God uses us to show himself to the world. It takes love to do this. Just think of the times when it would be so easy to step in and make things right and show everyone how “good” we are but instead we patiently wait and offer guidance so that someone else can learn and succeed at the task. And from that love we offer them, we experience joy at seeing them succeed. That sense of mastery is a gift we have given that person. My youngest son is learning to drive and every time we go somewhere he wants to drive. I know that it would often be quicker and less stressful for me to just drive. But as I step back and allow him to drive, I see the excitement that he feels from doing it himself. I see the confidence that he is gaining by the opportunities that he has had driving on the freeway, at night or in the rain. And it is teaching me to be patient, gentle and to let go of my desire to always be in control.

God does the same thing. He could easily show his power and majesty in so many big ways but he chooses to use us. He patiently guides us and encourages us. Especially when we feel like he is asking us to do something we think will be too difficult. But yet, when we are open to his help and are able to complete the task, there is a sense of gratitude to God and a desire to be steadfast to His will. God draws us back to himself and reminds us, “you shall be my people, and I will be your God.” (36:28)

Mary’s Assumption

Today is the Solemnity of the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary. I still wish that I had a deep relationship with Mary like many of my friends do. They speak about their devotion to our Blessed Mother. The desire to call upon her or to pray to her has never been a part of me. They were never a part of my upbringing and maybe that has something to do with it. She has always seemed to be beyond my grasp. How can I connect with a sinless virgin especially when sins of the flesh are the ones I have struggled with most of my life? But today I thought about her more in terms of a connection with my mother.

My mother dealt with the death of two of her sons. She held her dead son in her arms just as Mary did after they took Jesus down from the cross. Her son ascended into heaven and she was left here on earth without him. She knew that her son was in heaven and she would see him again one day but I can’t help but believe that she also felt sorrow at times because he was no longer here on earth with her. My mother also knew that she would see her sons again in heaven but she grieved their deaths, we all did, and miss them dearly. So, I am sure, that on the day that Mary was assumed into heaven there was much rejoicing in heaven as she was reunited with her son!

When my mom was near death she was struggling so much to breath. Every breathe was a long, tortuous, gurgling gasp and she cried out in pain whenever we touched her, even with the gentlest touch. We kept telling her it was ok to go, that she would be with Kevin and Mitchell again and there would be much rejoicing in heaven as they were reunited. And now we are the ones left here on earth. Even though we know that our loved ones are in a much better place we are, at times, filled with sorrow and wish we had a little more time to be with them and let them know how much we love them. Blessed Mother, touch my heart, increase my desire to know you and to receive the grace you bestow on all those who call upon you.

St. Maximilian Kolbe tells us that Mary is, “the Mediatrix of all grace. All that is required is that we really accept her and keep always closer to her; that we love her always more ardently in every temptation, difficulty, or trouble, acknowledging her power, her universal mediation next to God, and that we turn to her with total confidence. Then we too shall be capable of everything, but in him who gives us the strength through the Immaculate.” 

Keeping Watch

“I will stand at my guard post, and station myself upon the rampart, and keep watch to see what he will say to me, and what answer he will give my complaint.” (Habakkuk 2:1)

In the bible, at the beginning of Habakkuk, it tells us that the Book of Habakkuk may be the first time in Israelite literature, a man questions the ways of God. “Why, then, do you gaze on the faithless in silence while the wicked man devours one more just than himself?” (Habakkuk 1:13) There is terrible destruction and extensive evil because of the wicked rulers during this time in Israelite history. They are supposed to be God’s chosen people yet they are enduring so much hatred and evil. And while Habakkuk questions God, he believes that God will answer him. He trust in God and that is why he is willing to keep watch and see what God’s answer will be. He admits that he is complaining to God.

I shared with a friend the other day a situation that had me really torn. I felt like I did what God wanted me to do even though it went against my human desire. I shared with my friend that I wasn’t sure why God wanted this for me. I was given the opportunity to change my decision, which wouldn’t have been wrong or sinful, but I would be going against what I thought were God’s wishes for me. My friend told me that I was Peter at this time and Christ wanted me to keep my eyes completely fixed on Him. The only problem with that is that Peter wanted to be out on the water with Jesus and I want to remain in the boat. And again today, there was another situation that made me question my decision and I found myself complaining to God, asking him why he was making this so hard on me. Where was the lesson in all of this?

So this morning’s reading really hit home. God is calling me to take the same attitude as Habakkuk. He wants me to stand guard, keep watch and wait for His answer. Not something I am very good at. I grow impatient and want to know the purpose of my trials. Looking back I can see how God has used my trials to grow closer to Him, to even face head on some deep wounds and allow healing to occur. But in the midst of my trials I tend to forget all of that and get caught up in my struggle.

“For thus said the LORD GOD, the Holy One of Israel: by waiting and by calm you shall be saved, in quiet and in trust your strength lies.” (Isaiah 30:15)

Food That Endures

“Do not work for food that perishes but for the food that endures for eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you. For on him the Father, God has set his seal.” (John 6:27)

The Son of Man gives us the food that will endure for eternal life. He gives us himself! He gives us his flesh and blood and makes it available to us each and every day through the Eucharist. The people in today’s gospel are looking for a sign so they can believe. But we are called to walk by faith not by sight. “Blessed are those who have not seen and have believed.”  (John 20:29) Jesus tells them, “it was not Moses who gave the bread from heaven; my Father gives you the true bread from heaven. For the bread of God is that which comes down from heaven and gives life to the world.” (John 6:32-33) This bread that the Father gives is his very Son and it is only Christ who gives life to the world. Jesus promises us “whoever comes to me will never hunger, and whoever believes in me will never thirst.” (John 6:35)

Why do I continue to feel empty at times? Is it because I lack faith? I know you work through those you place in our lives but my struggle is finding that balance where I enjoy their friendship and gift of self but don’t crumble when they leave. I can only find that balance if you, Lord, are always first in my life. If you are the center of my life then I can enjoy the gift of others without getting attached just as I can get through the moments of darkness, loneliness and sorrow because you are there with me. Help me to surrender and allow you to quench my thirst. When I read about the people always wanting a sign from Jesus, I find myself thinking, there are signs all around you, Jesus Christ is in your presence, you are talking to Christ! What more do you need to believe? Yet, I do the same thing. I want a sign from God to know that he is here.

I receive the Body and precious Blood of my Savior everyday at Mass and yet I continue to live for the things of this world. I still get pulled into working for food that perishes even when I receive the food that endures. How can I be so blind? Why do I still long for the affirmation of those on this earth rather than being at peace knowing that your love and affirmation are all that I need?  Why do I desire those fleeting moments of pleasure that lead me away from you rather than persevere through my trials and temptations with my eyes fixed on the true pleasures of your love and your everlasting joy?

Sent by God

There are two things that touched my heart during my meditation today. The first thing is, that when God calls us to go boldly and preach his truth, he will always provide for us. He will place his words on our lips and it will be him who speaks through us.

We see this throughout scripture. Many of the prophets in the Old Testament speak about this and often use their inability to speak well as an excuse to not do what God is calling them to do. Moses objects several times and one of his excuses was, “I have never been eloquent, neither in the past, nor recently, nor now that you have spoken to your servant; but I am slow of speech and tongue” And God’s response is, “It is I who will assist you in speaking and will teach you what you are to say.” (Genesis 4:10, 12)

At the beginning of the Book of Jeremiah, he tells God that he does not know how to speak and that he is too young. But God tells him, “To whomever I send you, you shall go; whatever I command you, you shall speak. Have no fear before them, because I am with you to deliver you.” (Jeremiah 1:7-8) God makes this same promise to each of us.  Jeremiah accepts God’s call, and in today’s reading we see that his life is threatened because of this. Jeremiah tells the people that the Lord sent him and instructed him what to say. He goes on to tell them, “I am in your hands; do with me what you think good and right. But mark well: if you put me to death, it is innocent blood you bring on yourselves, on this city and its citizens.” (Jeremiah 26:14-15) Thank goodness they came to their senses realizing that God did send him and decided not to kill him.

John the Baptist on the other hand did not fare so well. He told Herod, “It is not lawful for you to have her.” (Matthew 14:4) Herod was having an adulterous relationship with his brother’s wife. John was aware of the consequences of his actions but was not afraid. He knew he had to speak the truth and was thrown in prison for doing so. This brings me to the other thing that spoke to me during my meditation. Sometimes we say things that are hurtful, we make ridiculous promises, like Herod, and instead of making things right, we allow our pride to get in the way.

Our pride keeps us from apologizing for the hurt we have caused another. Our pride keeps us from admitting that we made a mistake. And sometimes our pride leads to horrible consequences as in the case of Herod. He makes a ridiculous promise, swearing to give Herodias’ daughter whatever she wants. In Mark’s gospel account of this story, Herod even promises half of his kingdom if she wants it! Once she makes her request known, he could have easily stopped things right then and there, by just saying “No.” But because “of his oaths and the guests who were present” he cowers and does what he knows is terribly wrong. Pride is the root of all sin and today’s gospel is a perfect example. Lord, give us the courage to proclaim your truth when you call upon us to do so, knowing and trusting that you will place your words on our lips. Also, give us the courage to admit when we are wrong and not allow our pride to continue the injustices that we inflict on one another. 

Woe to Me

 “Woe to me…why is my pain continuous, my wound incurable, refusing to be healed?”  (Jeremiah 15:10, 18)

How many times have we felt like Jeremiah? We feel like our pain is never ending. He goes on to talk about the good things he has done “I neither borrow nor lend…when I found your words I devoured them; they became my joy and the happiness of my heart.” (15:10, 16) As if explaining why he shouldn't be suffering because he has been so good, always doing what is right. Jeremiah boldly states what is in his heart. That is one of the things I love about Jeremiah and so many of the Psalmists. They touch all the human emotions. They aren’t afraid to be honest with God, the only one we shouldn’t be afraid to be honest with. God already knows what is in our hearts and our minds and we are only fooling ourselves if we think we can keep something from Him.

Being open and honest with God helps us, not Him. It strengthens our relationship with God. Things seem to get bigger and out of control when left unspoken. Unspoken fears loom over us. Unspoken words can beat us down; all those “what ifs, if only I would have said__ or done that.”I often see this in my patients and their family. The fear of the unknown is more difficult than the truth. So from the very beginning I tell my families to not be afraid to ask questions. If they speak their fears they no longer have power over them.  There is often a solution and then we have something concrete to figure out together.

Even for Jeremiah, God told him what he needed to do. Jeremiah needed to repent so that God could restore him. He tells Jeremiah to “bring forth the precious without the vile” (15:19) Being open and honest with God is the best thing but he isn’t going to let Jeremiah have a pity party. If we want to be disciples, then God will be with us every step of the way but it is not an easy road. Once we quit the whining, God will use us as his mouthpiece just as he did Jeremiah. And He will protect us from “the hand of the wicked.” He is with us “to deliver and rescue you, says the LORD.” (15:21)

Dear Lord, I know that you are here with me each and every moment. You know everything about me but you want me to share it with you, not holding back. Help me to learn to trust my emotions and to remember that they are neither good nor bad. It is what we do with our emotions that produce good or evil. Fear is fear, I can allow fear to push others away or be hurtful, or I can use my fears to make me stronger. Fear can propel me to be bold in my profession of you and be open to the Holy Spirit to give me the courage I need to overcome my fears and walk in your truth.