Forgiveness

“Brothers and sisters: Be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving one another as God has forgiven you in Christ.” (Ephesians 4:32)

I am to forgive others as God has forgiven me. This seems impossible. God has been so merciful and has forgiven me for so many sins. And at times I struggle to forgive myself and accept His forgiveness. People say you have to love yourself before you can love others. Is it also true with forgiveness? Do I have to learn to forgive myself before I can forgive others? I have always found it easier to love others more so than myself and I think of myself as someone who is merciful and forgives others easily. Over the years as I have learned to love myself I have found that I have so much more to give to others. I can love others more completely and I am not afraid to receive their love. Hopefully the same will be true regarding forgiveness because I realized yesterday that I still struggle with it. I have trouble letting go of the hurts that have been inflicted on me. I thought I was doing pretty good letting go of a past hurt. I’ve purposefully avoided situations where I may run into this person so that God can heal these wounds but just the mention of his name by someone yesterday at RCIA caused my body to stiffen and my jaw to tighten up. I had to walk away for a moment. My reaction and recovery was mild compared to six months ago but it still surprised me that the pain was still there as well as bitterness in my heart. It is obvious that I have not forgiven him completely.

No matter what the world tells us about forgiveness, walk away and wash your hands of anyone who hurts you; it’s ok to hurt others if they have hurt you. An eye for an eye no longer applies when God is the center of our life. Turn the other cheek, forgive 7 x 70, these are God’s commands so we must empty ourselves of the bitterness, anger, hurt and sadness that we often feel when someone has done wrong to us. And allow the love of Christ to flow from us. Forgiveness is impossible without God’s grace. It takes humility and courage to forgive others and we receive this strength from God alone. He makes the impossible, possible.

“It flies in the face of all your pride, it moves away the mad inside, it’s always anger’s own worst enemy. Even when the jury and the judge say you got a right to hold a grudge it’s the whisper in your ear saying, ‘set it free.’ Show me how to love the unlovable, show me how to reach the unreachable, help me now to do the impossible, forgiveness.”  ~ Forgiveness by Matthew West