Doing the Impossible

“A man came from Baal-shalishah bringing to Elisha, the man of God, twenty barley loaves made from the firstfruits, and fresh grain in the ear. Elisha said, ‘Give it to the people to eat.’ But his servant objected, ‘How can I set this before a hundred people?’ Elisha insisted, ‘Give it to the people to eat.
For thus says the LORD, ‘they shall eat and there shall be some left over.’  And when they had eaten, there was some left over, as the LORD had said.”  (2 Kings 4:42-44)

I think most of us are familiar with the miracle of the multiplication of the loaves in today’s gospel. It is the only miracle story that is found in all four of the gospels. But today was the first time that I realized that there was a similar story in the Old Testament. That is one of the things that I love about scripture, every time we read it or listen to it, God touches our hearts. That is why it is so important to meditate on scripture daily, so that we can hear God speaking to us and then discern his will for us.

The miracle story in today’s first reading is another reminder that God always provides. Elisha’s servant questioned how these few barley loaves were going to feed all the people just as Philip questioned Jesus. But Elisha remembered God’s promise and trusted him completely. The words that struck me today were, “twenty barley loaves made from the firstfruits.”  Anytime we give to the Lord our first fruits, he will always increase their worth, sometimes even a hundred-fold (or more). The priest in his homily gave a perfect example of this. Blessed Teresa of Calcutta, started with nothing. She had no money, no food and no supplies when she began her work caring for the poorest of the poor. She had to beg for everything and trust that God would provide what was needed through the generosity of others. The Sisters of the Missionaries of Charity, which she started, now has more than 4500 members, located in 697 communities around the world in 133 countries.

If we open our eyes we can see so many examples of the impossible becoming possible. And if we open our hearts to God, he will use us to make the impossible happen. Miracles are not a thing of the past that only Jesus performed, miracles happen each and every day through God’s divine intervention. He promised to always be here with us and to always provide what we need.

Can You Drink the Chalice?

“Jesus said in reply, ‘You do not know what you are asking. Can you drink the chalice that I am going to drink?’ They said to him, ‘We can.’ He replied, ‘My chalice you will indeed drink, but to sit at my right and at my left, this is not mine to give but is for those for whom it has been prepared by my Father.’”  (Matthew 20:22-23)

Today is the Feast of St. James. During Mass today, the prayer over the offering mentions that God willed St. James to “be the first among the Apostles to drink of Christ’s chalice of suffering.” Christ told James that he would indeed drink of his chalice. As Christians, we all will at some time in our life drink of Christ’s chalice of suffering. None of us are able to avoid it. Some people choose to lash out at God for their suffering. A few years ago a coworker was worried that his young daughter may have diabetes. I remember him saying that he was going to be very angry at God if she has diabetes because they have given a lot of money to their church. He thought he could buy protection for him and his family by giving to his church. I was amazed that he truly believed that his anger at God would be justified.

Suffering is one of those things we will never understand, at least not while we are here on earth. Why does one family end up burying three of their children while another never experiences the death of someone young in their family? How can the fires in Colorado burn to the ground every house in a neighborhood but one remains standing without any damage? Suffering is inevitable just as Jesus mentions in today’s gospel. But how we deal with it is up to us.

“We are afflicted in every way, but not constrained; perplexed but not driven to despair; persecuted but not abandoned; struck down but not destroyed; always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our body.” (2 Corinthians 4:8-10) It is our faith in Jesus Christ, our hope in the promise of eternal life that allows us to endure our suffereing. There is reassurance throughout scripture that God will never abandon us, he never gives us more than we can bear as long as we share in his suffering. It is only when we are united with Christ in our suffering that we can find peace even in the midst of our storms. We need to allow God to help us stand strong in faith during times of adversity.

Dear Lord, no matter what life has in store, help me to trust in your fidelity to your people.  Help me to keep my eyes completely fixed on you instead of being overwhelmed by all that is going on around me.  Help me to have a heart like Job who praised you even when his world was crashing in around him. “The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD!” (Job 1:21)

He Came and Preached Peace

“He came and preached peace to you who were far off and peace to those who were near, for through him we both have access in one Spirit to the Father .”  (Ephesians 2:17-18)

The peace that God makes available through his son, Jesus Christ, is available for everyone. We all have access to this gift. Christ preached peace to those close to him and those far off and he continues to do this today. Even when we feel close to Christ and we are doing our best to follow his ways, we need this peace. We know that it is sometimes very difficult to do what we are called to do. Sometimes our environment is one that is hostile and judgmental and can dampen our zeal for God. Sometimes we are far from the Lord because we have strayed from him. The pleasures of this world have pulled us toward sin and away from God.

There are many things that interrupt our peace, for me, it was today’s first reading. “Woe to the shepherds who mislead and scatter the flock of my pasture, says the LORD.” (Jeremiah 23:1) As I read this scripture, I immediately felt anger and hurt rising up in me over a past wound. I quickly began to pray for peace and complete healing from this hurt. I prayed that I would be able to completely forgive this person and these words from the Lord’s Prayer came to mind, “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”  I want to forgive completely not only because this is how the Lord will judge me, but because forgiveness brings us peace. The Lord has brought much healing into my life. My wounds have become scars that will soon begin to grow faint. They will never go away completely but that is ok. Our scars remind us how far the Lord his brought us on our journey. They tell my story and offer hope for others experiencing similar wounds.

“Beside restful waters he leads me; he refreshes my soul.” (Psalm 23:2-3) The Lord refreshes our soul with his life-giving water. He washes away the guilt of our sins and renews our spirit. Jesus invited the Apostles to come away and rest. The rest was a break from all the work they had been doing and also a rest for something. He invited them to come and be with him. They were given an opportunity to just be with their Lord. To be in his presence, what a wonderful gift!

Beyond Ourselves

“The Pharisees went out and took counsel against Jesus to put him to death. When Jesus realized this, he withdrew from that place. Many people followed him, and he cured them all.”  (Matthew 12:14-15)

Today’s gospel reminded me of a conversation I had this morning. I gave a presentation to about 70 school nurses and spoke to them about pediatric oncology. A woman at the conference mentioned that one of her students had been treated at Children’s. She spoke about how amazing it is that this family was able to see beyond the tragedy of their child’s cancer and subsequent relapse and share on their Caring Bridge website all the blessings that have been bestowed on them. Jesus was experiencing a similar situation. The Pharisees were plotting against Jesus and took counsel to put him to death. Rather than letting that realization overwhelm him with fear or anger, Jesus withdrew from that place. There are many accounts in scripture of Jesus withdrawing from the scene, and each time he went off to pray. He called upon his heavenly Father to provide him the grace and peace he needed during that trial. And he continued to do what he came to do; he cured all those who followed him.

So often our families at the hospital are able to do the same. They are able to look beyond their own circumstances and reach out to other families that are hurting. They may reach out to a new family whose child has just been diagnosed, they reach out to another family whose child has had a difficult time or has relapsed and they reach out to those whose child is dying even though they fear the same thing happening to their own child. Not only do they help other families whose child has cancer, they often offer support to their own family and friends who are in shock. They offer comfort instead of being comforted.

“You do see, you do observe this misery and sorrow, you take the matter in hand. To you the helpless can entrust their cause; you are the defender of orphans.” (Psalm 10:14) God is always in the midst of our misery and sorrow, he holds us in the palm of his hand and this is the reason we can look beyond ourselves during difficult times. We know God is present and he is bestowing blessings on us during our trials. He gives us peace and hope, never leaving us orphan. Dear Lord, help me to see beyond my pain and suffering. Help me to reach out to those in need even when my world seems to be too much to bear. I know that even in the midst of our trials your healing touch is at work. Help me to be open to all that you offer to us. 

Take My Yoke

“Jesus said, ‘Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for yourselves. For my yoke is easy and my burden light.’”  (Matthew 11:28-30)

I love this scripture passage and I read it often. I’ve written it in my journal of favorite scripture. The first priest who helped me on my journey of healing also loved this scripture so when he was relocated I found someone who does calligraphy and had it written on beautiful paper and framed. But last night as I meditated on today’s readings it touched me in a new way. That is what I love about scripture; it reaches us where we are at in our lives. Last night, the words, “Take my yoke” eased my anxious heart. It has been a difficult week. I’ve been struggling and God was telling me to be still and take what he is offering me. I can find peace in Him and rest for my weary soul.

The reason I have been struggling so much this week is because I have allowed myself to become unyoked from Christ and have been trying to do things on my own. You’d think I would learn, I’ve been down this path too often and it is always painful and lonely, yet so often my heart gets tugged back to it. Like the Israelites, I sometimes think that I would be better off with the ways things were because they were familiar to me. My painful, chaotic life was what I knew for so long, and it takes much less courage to remain there instead of step out in faith, to the unknown.

Lord, have pity on me. Please keep your arms outstretched , offering me your yoke. Do not grow impatient with me or give up on me. You know that I love you and desire to do your will but I allow the chains of sin to bind me up and drag me away from you. Help me to rise, to raise my eyes to you, Lord, and allow the light of your truth to lead me back to you. Help me to once again take your yoke of love upon my shoulders knowing that it is only in You that I find peace and rest for my weary soul.

On wisdom, “Put your feet into her fetters, and your neck under her yoke. Stoop your shoulders and carry her and be not irked at her bonds. With all your soul draw close to her; with all your strength keep her ways. Search her out, discover her; seek her and you will find her. Then when you have her, do not let her go; thus will you afterward find rest in her, and she will become your joy.” (Sirach 6:25-29)

Shake the Dust

“Whoever will not receive you or listen to your words-go outside that house or town and shake the dust from your feet.'”  (Matthew 10:14)

How many times have we not received you, Lord, or not listened to your words, yet you never abandoned us, why do you want us to do this to others? Maybe because there are so many in need of your love, If we can’t make any headway with certain people we are to move on and allow you to continue working on them. Maybe the dust we are shaking from our feet represents the sin and evil in that place that is keeping those people from being open to you. Sometimes we have to walk away from people not because we don’t love them, but because we do love them. For whatever reason, the relationship has become caustic, maybe for one or maybe for both of us. Maybe the relationship has become abusive. God never wants us to remain in an abusive relationship. He offers us a way out if we have the courage to follow him.

“Yet, though I stooped to feed my child, they did not know I was their healer.” (Hosea 11:4) Sometimes we don’t recognize God in those he places in our lives. Sometimes we don’t want to see God because we would rather do things our way. But sometimes life circumstances cause us to be in a place where God is caring for us, he is often, literally, carrying us and it is not until later when we can look back, do we see that He has been with us all along. He is our healer.

Lord, help me to see you present in all that surrounds me, both the little things such as the smile of my child and the profound ways such as in the Eucharist that we are able to receive each day. You are constantly healing us and molding us into the person we were created to be. Help me to be patient with your work in me and the wisdom to know when I need to walk away and shake the dust from my feet. 

The Kingdom is at Hand

“Jesus summoned his Twelve disciples and gave them authority over unclean spirits to drive them out and to cure every disease and every illness. The names of the Twelve Apostles are these: first, Simon called Peter, and his brother Andrew; James, the son of Zebedee, and his brother John; Philip and Bartholomew, Thomas and Matthew the tax collector; James, the son of Alphaeus, and Thaddeus; Simon the Cananean, and Judas Iscariot who betrayed Jesus. Jesus sent out these Twelve after instructing them thus, "Do not go into pagan territory or enter a Samaritan town. Go rather to the lost sheep of the house of Israel. As you go, make this proclamation: 'The Kingdom of heaven is at hand.'"  (Matthew 10:1-7)

“It is time to seek the LORD.”  The prophet Hosea is also called to prophecy to the people of Israel whose infidelity took the form of idolatry. He reminds them that they must be rid of their wickedness and turn back to the one True God.  Seek always the face of the LORD. “Look to the LORD in his strength; seek to serve him constantly.” (Psalm 105:4) Today’s responsorial psalm is also calling us to seek God. He alone is our saving grace.

Lord, again I have been seeking comfort in this world. I have been without a spiritual director for a long time and I long to have that connection again. I long to have someone to guide me on this faith journey; someone to help me recognize the blind spots in my life. I thought you had placed someone in my life recently for that purpose but it hasn’t been so. You know how hard it is for me to let go of this desire, help me to be at peace with Your desires for me. I am trying to be still and let you lead me. I have to remind myself that basking in your glory is wonderful, I don’t always have to be doing something. I do cherish my private moments with you especially in the chapel at Cistercian after work when there is no one but you and me in that sacred place. I thank you for that safe haven where I can open my heart to you in praise and thanksgiving. A place where I can have my soul renewed by your love and through your grace I receive the strength and courage to do your will.

Just as you commissioned the Twelve, we are each called to proclaim that “the Kingdom of heaven is at hand.”  We are called to “live in a manner worthy of the call we have received, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another through love, striving to preserve the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.”  (Ephesians 4:1-3) 

Strength in Our Weakness

“Brothers and sisters: That I, Paul, might not become too elated, because of the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, an angel of Satan, to beat me, to keep me from being too elated. Three times I begged the Lord about this, that it might leave me, but he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.’ I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me. Therefore, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and constraints, for the sake of Christ; for when I am weak, then I am strong.”  (2 Corinthians 12:7-10)

St. Paul’s example in today’s second reading is difficult to embrace. Like Paul, we are called to be content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecution and constraints, if for God’s glory. It is interesting that he believes that the thorn in his flesh was placed there so that he doesn’t become too elated from the abundance of revelations by God. Paul had an ecstatic, mystical experience with God and in order to keep things in perspective, he was given this thorn. It is easy for us to think that there is something special about us when God blesses us abundantly. It is easy to think that we deserve this blessing because of something we have done instead of remembering that God’s goodness is separate from us. It is the ways of the world that teach us that we deserve to be repaid for any good deed that we do and that those who fall into misfortune often do so because of their own doing. But God’s ways are often the reverse of our worldly beliefs. Paul’s answer reveals the truth that divine power is more evident in human frailty. Reversal of earthly wisdom transforms weakness, distress and mistreatment into powerful evidence of God’s presence.

The embrace of our weakness quells the rebellion of original sin and opens us to the wonder of the Prophet among us. God’s grace is sufficient for us. I love this quote found in Magnificat today. To know that we have the ability to crush the rebellion of original sin by embracing our weakness is powerful. By humbling ourselves we allow the power of Christ to dwell in us. It opens us to the wonders of God in our lives. Our faith cannot grow without trials and the greater the trial, the greater our faith needs to be in order to believe that there is a purpose to our hardships.

“Although  now for a little while you may have to suffer through various trials, so that the genuineness of your faith, more precious than gold that is perishable even though tested by fire, may prove to be for praise, glory, and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.” (1 Peter 1:6-7)

I Will Follow But…

“When Jesus saw a crowd around him, he gave orders to cross to the other shore. A scribe approached and said to him, ‘Teacher, I will follow you wherever you go.’ Jesus answered him, ‘Foxes have dens and birds of the sky have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to rest his head.’ Another of his disciples said to him, ‘Lord, let me go first and bury my father.’ But Jesus answered him, ‘Follow me, and let the dead bury their dead.’”  (Matthew 8:18-22)

In today’s gospel, Jesus tells the disciple to “let the dead bury the dead” and wants the disciple to follow him now. Just like the disciple, we want to follow Jesus but there are a few things we want to do first. They aren’t necessarily bad things, although at times it is something sinful that we want to do just one more time. The disciple just wanted to bury his father before following Christ. This story illustrates how nothing can get in the way of us being disciples, not even our family and loved ones. It is good to periodically look at our lives and see where we allow other things to come before God.

God is continually calling us to him. Even if we are following Him, there are always ways that we can deepen that relationship. The challenge is to seek out those places in our everyday lives that God wants us to tweak. Is it in our prayer life? Has our prayer become “routine”? Do we pour out our heart unto the Lord, or are we just going through the motions? Do we cry out in anguish when that is what we are feeling? Or do we speak politely to God, not wanting to offend him?

Maybe there is an area in our lives that God wants healing to occur but we don’t want to face our past. The only way for the healing to occur is to face it but maybe fear is keeping us from doing it. Or maybe we are just too tired to keep working on it because working through it is exhausting. God is calling me to share my witness, which I am no longer afraid to do, but this time he is calling me to share a part of me that I have never shared before. I keep praying about it to make sure that he really wants me to do this and I keep getting “yes” for my answer but….a part of me isn’t ready. So I will continue to pray about it and share with God my fears and anxieties about what he is asking of me. And I will continue to pray for the courage to do His will, to follow Him now.