Have Pity on Me

"Son of David, have pity on me! … Jesus asked him, ‘What do you want me to do for you?’ He replied, ‘Lord, please let me see.’” (Luke 18:38, 40-41)

Do I really want to see? There are times that I am not sure that I do. Times like now when I am struggling with something that is ingrained deep inside of me. It keeps tripping me up and I have been praying for God to reveal to me what the problem is so that I don’t keep falling into this same struggle. I’ve prayed, Lord, help me to see where this comes from and to see how to overcome this, but as he begins to reveal these things to me, I don’t like what he is showing me. I thought it had to do with something from my childhood, and I am sure that part of it does, but a lot of it is my own selfishness. And this I don’t want to see. But God is so good. He knows how this breaks my heart so he ever so gently has been revealing it to me. I can feel him here next to me as I pray, and the truth begins to sink in. It is the truth so I need to know, but he is here to support me.

It reminds me of when we tell a family that their child has cancer. The news is devastating but it is a fact that their child has cancer. But we remain with them while this reality sinks in and then we reassure them that we know how to treat this and that our goal is for their child to be cured and we will be with them every step of the way. The journey will be difficult but they are not alone. Just as we support our families through this difficult time in their lives, the Lord is here to support me through this difficult reality. He has revealed it to me because he loves me and wants me to be whole. I must choose if I want to cooperate with his grace and face this head on or turn away from him and remain in the darkness of sin. He always gives us the choice.