Faith Enough to Heal

There was a woman afflicted with hemorrhages for twelve years. She had suffered greatly at the hands of many doctors and had spent all that she had. Yet she was not helped but only grew worse. She had heard about Jesus and came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak. She said, "If I but touch his clothes, I shall be cured." Immediately her flow of blood dried up. She felt in her body that she was healed of her affliction. Jesus, aware at once that power had gone out from him, turned around in the crowd and asked, "Who has touched my clothes?" But his disciples said to him, "You see how the crowd is pressing upon you, and yet you ask, Who touched me?" And he looked around to see who had done it.

The woman, realizing what had happened to her, approached in fear and trembling. She fell down before Jesus and told him the whole truth. He said to her, "Daughter, your faith has saved you. Go in peace and be cured of your affliction."  (Mark 5: 25-34)

I love today’s gospel story of the woman with the hemorrhages. So often I have prayed that I could be her. That Jesus would instantly heal me of my wounds. Maybe it is a lack of faith that has prevented this from happening but I am not sure. I encounter people every day that have incredible faith and they are not cured. The beautiful thing about it is that their faith doesn’t waiver even though their child is suffering greatly.

Our wounds sometimes run so deep and affect many aspects of our life. I know that the things I struggle with the most right now are directly related to the deep wounds that were inflicted on me as a child. And while the Lord has allowed incredible healing to occur in my life, there is still a lot of pain and more healing that needs to occur. I do know there is beauty in my struggles because they keep me humble. They sometimes knock me to my knees, the perfect place for calling on my Lord and Savior. They help me to draw closer to Him. Sometimes when I think I have things under control I test the situation to see how I am doing. In some things I am doing fine but others, I am not. I feel the pain again, usually inflicted by me, because I am not healed and I need to protect my heart. I thank God for never letting me go. I know my healing won’t be instantaneous like the woman in today’s gospel but that is fine. I am thankful that Christ is carrying my cross with me and that he stops and helps me get back up whenever I stumble and fall because of my pride or selfishness. I know he will continue to bear this with me until it is my time to come into His glory.  

Cultivating Our Faith

“On that day, as evening drew on, Jesus said to his disciples: ‘Let us cross to the other side.’ Leaving the crowd, they took Jesus with them in the boat just as he was. And other boats were with him. A violent squall came up and waves were breaking over the boat, so that it was already filling up. Jesus was in the stern, asleep on a cushion. They woke him and said to him, ‘Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?’ He woke up, rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, ‘Quiet! Be still!’ The wind ceased and there was great calm. Then he asked them, ‘Why are you terrified? Do you not yet have faith?’ They were filled with great awe and said to one another, ‘Who then is this whom even wind and sea obey?’”  (Mark 4:35-41)

This story about Jesus calming the storm at sea appears in all three synoptic gospels. What I like about this version of the story is that Jesus asks the disciples, “Do you not yet have faith?” In the other two gospels he says, “O you of little faith” (Matthew 8: 26) and “where is your faith?” (Luke 8:25) I feel like his words are more sympathetic and loving in Mark’s gospel. It is early in his ministry and the disciples are fairly new followers of his. They have seen miracles performed by Jesus and they have heard many parables but their faith is still in its infancy. And Jesus’ words speak to this. The word “yet” indicates that Jesus knows their faith will be great one day but it isn’t there yet. They were fisherman so they knew how powerful the storms on the sea could be. They had a natural fear that we all do when we have seen the devastation that can come from violent storms. Why would they think that having Jesus in the boat with them would change the course of the storm? Over time, they will learn that Jesus has power over all things and their faith will reflect this.

Our faith is a gift from God but in order for our faith to grow we must cultivate it. Faith is trusting that God keeps His Word. We cannot trust God if we don’t know Him. In order to know Him we need to spend time with him. Like all of our relationships, we can’t know someone if we don’t spend time with them. We learn more about God by reading scripture. God wants his Word to be a delight to us, so much that we meditate on it day and night. Those who take delight in his Word are, “like a tree planted near streams of water, that yield its fruit in season; its leaves never wither; whatever they do prospers.” (Psalm 1:3) Our faith isn’t something that we dedicate an hour to on Sundays but something that we live each and every day. If we stop pursuing Christ, we are letting our relationship with him deteriorate. We never grow closer to Christ when we just live life; it takes deliberate pursuit and attentiveness. So let us continually and deliberately draw closer to Christ so that in all things and all circumstances we will know in our very soul that we are never alone and that He always cares. 

Dare to Believe

Sometimes there are moments in our lives that are so overwhelming; the pain, sadness, fear seem to take our breath away and it is hard to believe that something good can come out of the situation. Yesterday, one of the families at the hospital was in that place. We had to tell them that the cancer in their son’s leg was getting bigger not smaller like we hoped. So the surgery we talked about last week was no longer an option. Now the only way to be sure that we get all the cancer is to amputate his entire leg. The parents had a hard time wrapping their head around that. They kept asking if there was another way. They were so worried that their son will become very depressed. When he was first diagnosed he was in a lot of pain and felt sick from the chemotherapy. He told his parents that he would just like to die and be done with it. This is what a 9 year old boy is dealing with! His dad doesn’t want us to tell him that he will have his leg amputated. We told his dad that he has to know; waking up from surgery without his leg would be more traumatic and we would lose his trust. We had to help them see that having their son alive with one leg is better than him dying.

I told them there are several kids who only have one leg and they are doing incredible things. A group of them are going on a ski trip next week. On our teen retreat, one of the boys has only one leg and he is faster on his crutches than most of the teens with two legs. He prefers his crutches over his prosthesis because he is much faster on the crutches. I remember a few years ago a teenage boy crying and begging us not to cut his leg off. This same young man is 2 years out from completing chemotherapy and graduating from high school this year. He is proud of his Cheetah prosthesis and he is able to run and play basketball which he loves. We know how to help them through this horrible situation. It is our job to help them dare to believe that something good can come out of this and to help them remain hopeful.

“Would dare you, would you dare, to believe, that you still have a reason to sing, 'cause the pain you've been feeling, can't compare to the joy that's coming so hold on, you got to wait for the light, press on, just fight the good fight because the pain you've been feeling, It’s just the hurt before the healing, the pain you’ve been feeling, just the dark before the morning. Once you feel the way of glory, all your pain will fade to memory…”  “Before the Morning” by Josh Wilson

Our Daily Conversion

Today is the Feast of the Conversion of St. Paul the Apostle. This is certainly a day that should bring hope to us all. Saul was one of the main persecutors of Christians in his time.  “Saul, still breathing murderous threats against the disciples of the Lord, went to the high priest and asked him for letters to the synagogues in Damascus, that, if he should find any men or women who belonged to the Way, he might bring them back to Jerusalem in chains.” (Acts 9: 1-2) His reputation was wide spread. When Ananias was asked by the Lord to go to Saul he did not want to go. He had heard from many sources the evil things Saul had done to the Christians in Jerusalem and that he had authority to do the same in Damascus.

Saul was on his way to Damascus to persecute more Christians when he received his call from Jesus himself. Could you imagine the Lord asking you why you were persecuting him? Sometimes through prayer I feel that God is calling me to do something specific to further his kingdom. Sometimes they are easy things I don’t mind doing and sometimes they are hard. What the Lord was asking of Saul was a complete 180°. Those that were persecuting the Christians along with Saul probably wondered what the heck was going on? What had gotten into him? And like Ananias, the Christians that knew of his persecutions didn’t trust him. Was his conversion for real?

I recently heard a parent mention that when his son was going through a rebellious period and had turned away from the Church and was doing all the things that he was taught not to do, rather than being devastated by his son’s actions, he said that his son was creating a great witness. He trusted that his son would one day return to the Lord and then what an incredible story he would have to tell. He would have an incredible witness to share about the power of God’s love and mercy that He has for all of his prodigal sons and daughters. Our journey here on earth will always have difficulties and temptations that trip us up. So each day we must choose to continue on this path toward holiness. Our conversion is a life long process that we must renew everyday but the rewards will be beyond our imagination.

Choose Life

Today’s readings remind us to choose God, who is Life. Just like the people of Nineveh, we must repent for our offenses to God and one another. In RCIA today, the talk was on sin. Every time we sin we hurt our relationship with the Lord. Our decision to be a Christian is not a onetime thing and then all is well. It is a decision we must make every day and some days we have to make this decision several times a day. Whenever I am tempted to sin I have a choice. I can give into the temptation or choose life. God knows what is in our hearts; and while others may not see how we are struggling to do good; God is aware and he rejoices in our struggle. He rejoices in our desire to please him, our perseverance and he provides the strength we need to overcome these temptations. We can’t allow our sin to lead us into despair and to think that it is hopeless to overcome those sins that keep tripping us up. Paul reminds us in his letter to the Romans, “Where sin increased, grace overflowed all the more, so that, as sin reigned in death, grace also might reign through justification for eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” (Romans 5:20-21) God is always waiting for us to return to him, just like the prodigal son.

Today is also the 39^th anniversary of the court decision in Roe v Wade that legalized abortion.  Since this judgment, over 50 million children have been murdered. During his homily, Fr. Jason stated that “this has been genocide on an unthinkable level. There are other areas of life that need attention as well- but none whose evil is as widespread as abortion. The bishops remind us that over 3,000 babies each day die within the womb of their mother. This creates a great wound in the mothers of these children and society as a whole.” We need to put an end to our culture of death and choose life. We need to be the voice for those who are unable to speak for themselves. 

Rising Above Ourselves

What an opportunity David had, he is in a cave and his enemy, the man seeking to kill him, walks right into his grasp. He could have killed him and no one, other than the men who were with him, would have known. His servants even reminded him what the Lord had said to David, “I will deliver your enemy into your grasp; do with him as you see fit.” (1 Samuel 24:5) Do with him as you see fit, wow, that puts the ball back in David’s court. He could easily explain his actions as those of God’s will. But would that be what was fit? He is then reminded that God forbid him to lay a hand on His anointed. 

Have you ever found yourself in a similar situation? Everything seems to fall into place and it would be easy to retaliate for a hurt done to you? It would only be fair, right? That is what they deserve, right? I was in a similar situation last summer. Someone who had hurt me deeply had moved across town and was now living near my son’s college. I had let his betrayal keep me in a dark place and one Saturday I thought, if God allows everything to fall into place, then I will know that He wants me to confront this person and tell him how much he hurt me. Well, things did fall into place, we got my son moved back into his apartment and I had plenty of time to get to the place where I knew he would be. As I headed over there, I asked God to be with me when I confront him and to give me the words to speak. But what God did instead was to show me that this was an opportunity not to confront him but to turn around and go home. An opportunity to let go of the hurt and allow more healing to occur instead of trying to inflict pain on him. The devil was trying to convince me that the “right” thing to do was to confront him. That I have the right to confront him and tell him what his betrayal did to me and hopefully make him feel bad about it. Yes, everything did fall into place but not in order to confront him but to be Christ-like and walk away. To forgive and let go. To lean into God and allow Him to heal this deep wound and to trust in Him. It was very hard to do but I knew it was the right thing to do because my anger, anxiety and fear were replaced with peace.

God gives us many opportunities throughout each day to make right choices, not the choices that we may see as “fit” but to always choose love over hatred, compassion over a hardness of heart, to be selfless instead of selfish, choose humility over pride and mercy over judgment. 

Peaceful Resolutions

In today’s reading Saul is jealous of David. Not because David got all of the attention but because David got more attention. The women came to meet King Saul and were singing and dancing. They praised Saul for the thousands he has slain and also praised David causing Saul to become angry and resentful.

How often does this same emotion rise up in us? How often am I jealous of the attention or affection that someone shows another instead of me? Why am I so easily hurt when someone doesn’t affirm me when I want them to? How quickly I become angry and resentful, just as Saul did. Our emotions are neither right or wrong, what we do with them though may lead us to sin. Saul was so jealous of David that he wanted to kill him! When our emotions get out of control like Saul’s did, we need someone to help us deal with them. What a gift Jonathan was for his father, Saul. He stepped in and reminded Saul that what he was planning was sinful and that David committed no offense against him. Jonathan did this in a loving and gentle way. If we try to intercede like Jonathan did, we must also do it in a loving manner. If we approach the person in a judgmental way then they will immediately get defensive and will not hear a thing we are saying.

Jonathan also protects David from harm. He is a true friend to David. And David does not allow this incident to change him; he continues to serve Saul as he had done before. He wasn’t resentful or angry at Saul for what he planned to do in his fit of rage. This is such a beautiful example of how we can take a situation that is moving in the wrong direction very swiftly, and could end in a harmful outcome for all involved, and make something beautiful out of it. If we were to live as Jonathan did, this world would be a much more peaceful place.

Slaying Our Giants

Today we read about how David defeats Goliath with a sling shot and a single stone. It isn’t the simple act of a stone being thrown by a young boy that kills Goliath, but the Lord. David tells Goliath, “Today, Yahweh will deliver you into my hand; I shall kill you, I shall cut off your head; today, I shall give your corpse and the corpses of the Philistine army to the birds of the air and the wild beasts, so that the whole world may know that there is a God in Israel, and this whole assembly know that Yahweh does not give victory by means of sword and spear -- for Yahweh is lord of the battle and he will deliver you into our power.” (1 Samuel 17:46-47)

I feel like we (those of us fighting childhood cancer) are up against a giant and instead of mortally wounding him, our stones are bouncing off of him and he is taunting us. Yesterday one of my patients called with the complaint of some numbness, which she thought was from sitting too long in her wheelchair, which would not go away. A MRI was done and it showed cancer throughout her spine and a mass pressing on the nerves at the base of her spinal cord causing the numbness. We had been monitoring the small nodules in her lungs and while we are thinking that we are managing it, the cancer is spreading to her spine unbeknownst to us. There are days like today that I feel that the cancer is mocking us and that we are fighting a losing battle. But this battle is the Lord’s and I need to place it in his hands.

He is the one that guides us; that gives man the knowledge to develop new cancer treatments, the knowledge to understand cancer and helps us to continue our march toward a cure.  And He is the one that gives us the strength to endure days like yesterday and today; and those to come as we walk with this family as their child moves from this life to everlasting life. It is God who gives us the compassion to be with this family and to comfort them and guide them through their fears even though we are frightened too.  And even though there is nothing we can do to stop the cancer, we will continue on this journey with them. I had to pray for the courage and strength to get out of the pew this morning after Mass and go into work. I need to be a source of support for the new staff that may be dealing with this for the first time. I need to help her siblings deal with her impending death and I need to be a beacon of hope. I need to place all of this in God’s hands because that is the only way I can do this difficult work that He has called me to do.

“The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD!” (Job 1:21)

Our Call

“You will be called Cephas.”  (John 1:42)

There are many times in Scripture that God changes the name of the person he has called. Abram became Abraham, Jacob is changed to Israel, Saul became Paul, and in today’s gospel, Simon’s name is changed to Cephas, which is translated Peter. Not only does God change their name, but their relationship is changing too. God is using them as his instrument. They are entering into a covenant with God. “You shall be my people, and I will be your God.”  (Jeremiah 30:22)

John the Baptist announces, “Behold the Lamb of God.” Andrew and the other disciple hear what he has said and began to follow Jesus. Jesus turns and asks them, “What are you looking for?” At some point in our lives we are all looking for something. We are looking for a reason to be and we seek the answer in many different ways. Some seek to fulfill this longing with sexual relationships, or by accumulating things, obtaining power or through drugs or alcohol. We may seek the affirmation of others but all of these things fall short because what we are looking for can only be satiated with the love of Christ.

Jesus invites Andrew and the other disciple to “come, and you will see.” We are all invited by Jesus to come and see what he has to offer. We are called to be transformed by Christ; to leave our old ways behind and to allow him to make us new. When God changes the name of people in the bible, it is done to establish a new identity; they have been destined for a new mission in life. They are now part of the divine plan and it will be fulfilled in them. While our name may not change, we are all called to turn from our old life of bondage and take part in the divine plan. We each have a part in His plan that only we can fulfill. When we realize this we are able to see our reason to be. We are a new creation.

“So whoever is in Christ is a new creation: the old things have passed away; behold, new things have come.” (2 Corinthians 5:17)

He Calls the Sinner

 “Those who are well do not need a physician, but the sick do. I did not come to call the righteous but sinners.” (Mark 2:17)

Jesus Christ is the Divine Healer. He came for each and every one of us because we are all sinners. The Pharisees are self righteous. They think they are better than sinners and tax collectors. They are blind to their own sin, pointing out the splinter in the sinner’s eye yet failing to acknowledge the wooden beam in their own eye. We all have the tendency to judge others and it is hard to get through the day without doing so. We judge the person who shows up to Mass late. We judge the person at the grocery store whose child is having a tantrum. We judge the person who cuts us off in traffic. We often judge quickly, mercilessly and based on first impression. We fail to consider that person’s situation or have any empathy for them. Judging others is a distraction that keeps us from looking at our own sin.

God doesn’t look at the external things, he looks at our heart. In order to seek the Physician we must first acknowledge that we are ill. We often dismiss the impact that our sins may have on others and even try to fool ourselves into thinking that it has no impact on others. Monsignor Robert Hugh Benson wrote that none of us know the full malice of sin. “One man is a slave, let us say, to a sin of the flesh, and seeks to reassure himself by the reflection that he injures no one but himself; ignorant as he is of the outrage to God the Holy Spirit whose temple he is ruining. Or a woman repeats again every piece of slanderous gossip that comes her way and comforts herself in moments of compunction by reflecting that she ‘means no harm’; ignorant as she is of the discouragement of souls of which she is the cause and of the seeds of distrust and enmity sown among sins.”  Our sins hurt our relationship with God and with those around us. We need to seek his forgiveness and ask for the grace to sin no more and to avoid the things that lead us back into sin.

Lord, give me the courage to look honestly at myself and how I offend you through sin. I know you came for sinners and for that I am most grateful. Help me to run to you, the Divine Physician, for healing when I sin. To not be distracted by judging others but instead to be aware of the impact that my actions have on those around me. Help me to love as you love. Amen.

Being Different

In today’s reading the Israelites insist that Samuel appoint them a king. Samuel goes on to tell them what will happen if they are appointed a king. The king will take their belongings; their land, crops, livestock and money. Their sons will be required to do hard labor and be sent into battle. Their daughters will be required to do labor as well and then they will complain against this king that they wanted so desperately. But they don’t care; they refuse to listen to Samuel.  They don’t want to be different; they want to have what all the other nations have, a king.  God tells Samuel that they are not rejecting him but rejecting God as their King and to grant their every request. Why does God tell Samuel to do this when he knew that this was not what was best for them? It was because their hearts were stony and they would not be persuaded. God only wants what is best for us but sometimes allows things to happen, because we insist on doing things our way, even if it ends in disaster.  How many times have we tried to warn someone about something but they refuse to listen and then later, we may not say it, but we are thinking, I tried to tell you. Sometimes we have to learn things the hard way.

What God was asking of the Israelites was radical. Every other nation had a king. Even though life could be hard for the people, especially if the king was corrupt and didn’t take care of those that were in his care, it was familiar. God wanted to be their king; this invisible God who demanded that they have no other gods. It was commonplace for the people to have many gods. The concept of monotheism was unheard of. They were learning what it meant to have a covenantal relationship with God but when things get hard we revert back to our old ways. It is hard being different. It is much more comfortable to go along with the crowd. It takes less effort and you don’t get grief for wanting to be different. When I was 11 years old my brother died. It made us different. People no longer knew what to say around us. In our society we like to avoid things that make us uncomfortable so we stay away from those who are mourning or are dying. We avoid the homeless man on the corner or turn away when see an injustice. We somehow think it will keep it from happening to us. And for my family, our relationship with God had changed. Like the Israelites, we were being called to accept this radical change and to trust in Him. He was asking us to believe that he would carry us through this and that something good could result from this tragedy. We were forever changed. Our priorities changed, things that we once thought were important, no longer were. Our faith took on a whole new meaning and our trust in God deepened. We were different and we had to learn to embrace it.

The Agony of Defeat

In today’s reading the elders of Israel ask, “Why has the LORD permitted us to be defeated today by the Philistines? (1 Samuel 4:3) They gather up the ark of the LORD of hosts, who is enthroned upon the cherubim, and take it into battle with them thinking it will save them from their enemies and even that doesn’t help.  Having faith in God and keeping him near to us doesn’t prevent us from being defeated. It doesn’t prevent us from deep loss, sickness or abuse. Of course, in the end, He will prevail and the faithful will rejoice with him in heaven. But we live in a broken world and throughout our lives we will suffer. We choose whether we want our suffering to lead us into despair; walk around saying, Woe is me; or we can choose to trust in God. We believe that he is holding us in the palm of his hand. Not a moment goes by that God is not thinking about us, if he did, we would no longer exist. “For in him we live and breathe and have our being.” (Acts 17:28)

Some times at work death prevails over physical healing. Just like the Israelites, our parents take God into battle with them as they fight for their child’s life from their cancer. One family started a website, 1 million prayers for Anna, and it reached that goal fairly quickly. Over a million people offered up prayers for their daughter, most of them strangers, and yet she died. The unfathomable happened; her parents had to bury their child. Yet somehow these families survive. Sometimes it takes a while but they usually find peace in the Lord and the strength to move forward.

It is commonplace now for people to walk away from their marriage when things get tough. They never get the chance to see the fruits that come from persevering through tough times. They never experience the deep love that comes from forgiving one another and moving forward together. We need to invite the Lord into our suffering. He transformed the cross from a means of torture to one of salvation and can do the same with our suffering. We experience his love and mercy in a way that is only possible in the midst of our pain. 

Recognizing His Voice

“At that time Samuel was not familiar with the LORD, because the LORD had not revealed anything to him yet.” (1 Samuel 3:7)

In today’s reading Samuel is learning to recognize the Lord’s voice. One thing about Samuel is that he was open. When he heard himself being called he did not hesitate. He thought it was Eli calling him and immediately went to him and said, “Here I am” not what do you want? or why are you calling me? Or even ignoring it altogether like we sometimes do. When Eli realized that it was the Lord calling Samuel, he taught him the proper way to answer God. “Speak, LORD, for your servant is listening.”

When discerning the will of God we have to first learn to recognize his voice. In his homily today, the priest mentioned that the reason a shepherd carries the lamb on his shoulders is because he breaks one of the lamb’s legs so that it cannot run away. While the lamb is on the shepherd’s shoulders, it listens to the shepherd talking to the sheep and learns to recognize his shepherd’s voice. When the lamb’s leg heals he no longer runs off because he recognizes his shepherd’s voice.  I found this to be beautiful. Sometimes it is only when I am “crippled” that I pay attention to God.

Once we learn to recognize God’s voice we have to make sure we can hear it. We have to learn to block out all the distractions in our lives and make time to sit before the Lord and listen to him. We need to make ourselves available to him.  Sometimes it is hard to discern if what we are hearing is God because the devil often makes things appealing, to attract our attention. But if something is true then it will stand firm. Truth is never a fleeting thing. It took three times for Eli to realize that it was the Lord speaking to Samuel. When I am faced with something that I am not sure what God is trying to reveal to me in that situation, instead of reacting quickly, I have to take time and rest in it. When I do this, I always find peace. I may not know why God is placing this before me or even if I will ever know, but I do know that with Him I can bear all things. 

The Epiphany of the Lord

“If what we venerate as something believed we also take on to be imitated…There appear to those of an upright heart in one the same Person both human lowliness and divine majesty. Whom the cradle shows to be an Infant, heaven and heavenly things call their Maker…He who is encompassed by no limits is held in the arms of his Mother. But it is in these things that the healing of our wounds and the rising up of our abasement rest, for, unless such diversity had come together as one, human nature could not be reconciled to God.”  ~ St. Leo the Great

God made himself visible to all mankind through Jesus Christ. The magi recognize that the Messiah has been born and want to pay him homage. They were “overjoyed at seeing the star, and on entering the house they saw the child with Mary his mother. They prostrated themselves and did him homage.” (Matthew 2: 10-11) The magi were different after their encounter with Christ. This is the respond that God would like from all mankind; to recognize this beautiful gift he has given us. He wants us to be overjoyed when we encounter his Son and at the same time not forget his divine majesty. Just as the magi sought the Christ child, we are called to continually seek Him. Our hearts will always be hungry for God and we shouldn’t be discouraged by this but instead rejoice. It is this hunger that draws us closer to him and the closer we get to him the more we want to know him. How often have we wanted things in our lives, whether it is material things or a person’s affection or acknowledgment, and as soon as we obtain whatever it is we desire we are let down or quickly tire of it? The reason we are let down is because this thing or person can’t fill that longing in our heart. It is God’s affection that we truly desire and we will never be disappointed when that is what we seek. 

Heavenly Father, Help me to keep my eyes on the light that leads me to you just as the magi did. Help me to always be overjoyed at the many ways that you manifest yourself in my life each and every day. Keep this desire to know you always burning in my heart and give me the wisdom to avoid the things of this world that try to extinguish this fire. I ask these things through your Son, our Lord, Jesus Christ. Amen.

The Baptism of Jesus

In yesterday’s gospel, Jesus tells Nathanael, “You will see the sky opened and the angels of God ascending and descending on the Son of Man.” (John 1:51)  I am not sure what Jesus was speaking to Nathanael about, but I thought about those words when I read today’s Gospel.  “It so happened in those days that Jesus came from Nazareth of Galilee and was baptized in the Jordan by John. On coming up out of the water he saw the heavens being torn open and the Spirit, like a dove, descending upon him. And a voice came from the heavens, ‘You are my beloved Son; with you I am well pleased.’” (Mark 1: 9-11)

We are baptized to be cleansed of original sin. We die to sin and are resurrected with Christ. Jesus didn’t need to be baptized because he knew no sin. But for me it is another example of His humanity. It was at the time of his baptism that the Father anoints him with the Holy Spirit and it is revealed that he is God’s Son, the Messiah. Those who were present at his baptism witnessed the heavens being torn open and they hear the voice of God! I think I would have fallen on my knees overcome by the awesomeness of that event.

We struggle with sin daily but we are washed cleaned of our venial sins at every Mass. We have the opportunity to receive this gift every day. And we also have the gift of the Sacrament of Reconciliation where we are absolved of all of our sins no matter how grave or how much we have offended God. These sacraments give us strength in our fight against sin and for this I am so thankful. Heavenly Father, that you for the graces we receive through the Sacraments of the Church that empower us to walk in your Truth and allow us to be in communion with You while we are here on this earth. Amen. 

How We Come to Know Love

 "The way we came to know love was that he laid down his life for us; so we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.”  (1 John 3:16)

The only way we experience true love is through Jesus Christ. Only his love is pure and without any expectations. He loves us even if we reject him over and over. I like to think that I love others unconditionally but it is sometimes hard. It is hard to continue loving someone who has wounded you deeply. I’m sure many people betrayed Jesus but of course the one that always comes to mind is Peter’s denial of Christ three times before the cock crowed twice. Not only does Jesus continue to love Peter, he gives him the keys to the kingdom of heaven! When we experience hatred for no reason at all it is hard to love that person. Jesus endured hatred from many people just because he was Jesus but he continued to love them and show them mercy and compassion.

I would certainly lay down my life for my children, my husband, or my family members. I would even lay down my life for my close friends but I am not sure that I would lay down my life for a stranger and even more difficult for someone who I dislike. But we can’t pick and choose who we will love. We are called to love all of our brothers and sisters. Yet, it is only through Christ that we are able to do this. It is his love that softens our hearts. We need to know God in order to love one another. Knowledge of God and love for one another are inseparable and error in one area inevitably affects the other.

“In this is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as expiation for our sins.” (1 John 4:10)

Sharing the Good News

In the Gospel readings this week John the Baptist is leading others to Christ. He wants no fanfare or glory, it is all about Christ. He tells them that he is not worthy to untie Jesus’ sandal straps. So great is the One to come that even a prophet of God is not worthy to untie his sandals. This illustration carries great power. Among the many tasks that a first century slave performed for his master was removing the sandals from the master’s feet. John’s statement highlights the difference between human beings, even great ones, and the One to come. It is not that untying sandals is too demeaning for the prophet; it is that he is not worthy to be that close to the Messiah. 

In today’s Gospel, John the Baptist again announces Jesus’ presence, “Behold, the Lamb of God.”  Here is this person that John has been preaching about so two of his disciples follow Jesus. Andrew and the other disciple stayed with Jesus for the day and I am sure learned many things. Andrew wanted to share with his brother what had happened that day so he brought him to Jesus. Sometimes it is too hard to explain something to someone. Sometimes you just have to take them to the source so they can experience it themselves. This is how it was with Andrew and his brother. “He (Andrew) led his brother to the very source of light, and with such great haste and joy that he (Simon Peter) did not hesitate for an instant to go there.” ~ St. John Chrysostom

Sometimes I am just as enthusiastic as Andrew was to share with others how God is working in my life. I want to shout from the rooftops the Good News. But most of the time I hope that others experience the love of Christ through my actions. Our actions speak louder than words but maybe I need to verbally express my gratitude and love for God more often. 

Re-establishing Balance

Today is the Solemnity of the Blessed Virgin Mary, the Holy Mother of God. I always seem to struggle a little with my meditations when it is a day that the Church focuses on Mary and today was no different. As I did Morning Prayer and then read the readings and Gospel for today I had trouble putting on paper a meditation for today. My mind seemed to be all over the place but there were a few words from the meditation in Magnificat today that struck me.

 Jesus achieved in a perfect manner the Reign of God in his humanity, because he had no human ego. He re-established the balance upset by the excess of self. ~ Fr. Maurice Zundel

When God created Adam and Eve the world was in perfect balance. There was no need for the Incarnation because the love of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit was perfect and from that perfect love man was created. It was the human ego, the excess of self, that disrupted this perfect balance and sin was introduced into the world. The only way to put things back in order was for God to send his Son for the forgiveness of sin of all mankind, once and for all. Mary’s mission required full cooperation. There was no room for human ego. “Let it be done to me according to your word.” (Luke 1:38)

Throughout the day my “excess self” interferes with God’s perfect love. A judgmental thought runs through my mind; jealousy rises up in me when I am passed over; a mean thought crosses my mind and I may or may not hold my tongue. Every day is a struggle to deny myself. Sometimes I get frustrated by it all; frustrated at myself for not being more Christ-like. But if I take a moment to sit with it before God, I realize that these moments throughout the day help to keep me focused on Christ. They are reminders that every day I need to choose God. They are reminders that there is more work to be done and that it is only with God’s grace that His will is done.