Teach Us to Pray

“Jesus said to his disciples: ‘In praying, do not babble like the pagans, who think that they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them. Your Father knows what you need before you ask him. This is how you are to pray.’”  (Matthew 6:7-9)

Jesus gives us the Our Father as a gift to us. This seemingly simple prayer that we pray often and is one of the first prayers that we learn as a child is so rich with wisdom and is all that we need to know. The pagans babble on and on, thinking that their many words are going to give them an edge over the rest of the people. It reminds me of people who talk just to talk and their words have no depth. They can’t stand silence.

Jesus wants us to know his Father, our Father, in the same intimate way that he knows him. Jesus prays that our Father will keep us in his name so that we may be one just as he and the Father are one. (John 17:11) In order to do this we must place our existence into the Father’s hand. If we desire that His will be done then we must place our trust in him and believe that no matter what trials we face, it is all for his glory and that he is bestowing grace upon us even when we can’t feel his presence. When we pray for the Father to give us this day, and this day only, our daily bread we have to let go of our anxiety for the future and receive the gift of this day because each day is truly a gift. And for me the hardest part of this prayer is, forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. Is this really what I want to pray for? I have a hard time forgiving those who have hurt me. God casts our sins as far as the east is from the west and I need to learn to do the same thing. I need to cast off the sins of others and not let them continue to press in on me or be wrapped around me; I have grown comfortable with them. I keep them as a reminder of why I shouldn’t forgive that person. “Look what they did to me!” I don’t want to hear those same words from our Father because the wrong I have done to Him far exceeds any hurts that have been done to me.

Heavenly Father, forgive me for my many sins and give me a heart of love so that I may forgive others as you have forgiven me; with no strings attached, no reminders of past hurts and no limits. Amen.

Temptations

Today’s gospel is about the Temptation of Jesus. Early on in my faith journey I didn’t grasp that Jesus was completely human as well as divine. I didn’t truly believe that he understood the struggles against temptations because he was Jesus. But as I have grown in my faith I realize that Jesus was fully human as well as divine. While he was here on earth he felt all the things that we as human beings feel. I now have a better understanding of today’s gospel. Jesus fasted in the desert for 40 days and nights. He was hungry, exhausted, and lonely and Satan took that opportunity to tempt him. Each time that Satan tested him, Jesus’ response is one taken from Scripture. “One does not live on bread alone, but by every word that comes forth from the mouth of God.” (Matthew 4:4) “You shall not put the Lord, your God, to the test.” (Matthew 4:7) “The Lord, your God, shall you worship and him alone shall you serve.” (Matthew 4:10) These words were the same words spoken to the Israelites when they were in the desert. They were reminded of what the Lord had done for them and how they were to obey Him when they reach the land that he swore to their fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.

Jesus was able to resist these temptations because he had spent time in prayer, he was ready for battle. We too must prepare ourselves for battle. We need to pray, we need to block out the noise in our life. We need to stop talking to ourselves so that we can hear the words of our Father. One of the ways in which the devil tempts me is in regard to my work. When we experience a lot of deaths, relapses or new diagnoses I tend to feel overwhelmed. I start second guessing myself, questioning if I am able to continue doing this. I try to rely on myself to get through these difficult times. I begin to fall into despair which is right where the devil wants me to be, believing that it is hopeless. Instead, I need to be quiet and be still, and allow the Lord to renew my spirit. I need to do what Jesus did, he allowed the angels to come and minister to him.

He Desires Mercy

For the last two days Isaiah has been telling the Israelites what is expected of them. In yesterday’s reading he gives them a whole new description of fasting. The Lord, God doesn’t find their day of penance acceptable. The fact that they walk around with their head bowed and lie in sackcloth and ashes is meaningless if they continue with their own pursuits and treats others unfairly. In both readings, he describes what is acceptable to the Lord. They are to release those bound unjustly, set free the oppressed, feed the hungry, care for the afflicted and remove false accusations and malicious speech from their midst. These are very similar to what Jesus told his disciples when he spoke about the judgment of the nations when the Son of Man returns in glory. For those who feed the hungry, give drink to the thirsty, welcome a stranger, clothe the naked, care for the sick and visit those in prison they will inherit the kingdom prepared for them by our heavenly Father. (Matthew 25:34-36)

“I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked man, but rather in the wicked man’s conversion, that he may live” (Ezekiel 33:11) God’s desire is for each one of us to turn from sin and follow in his ways. The mercy that he shows to each one of us is the mercy that we must then show toward others. It is easy for me to show mercy to the sick because this is my vocation; God has called me to care for his little ones. But I have a much harder time being merciful to those that don’t fit the “mold” that I think they should fit in. It is hard for me not to get caught up in the gossip about someone who has hurt me. It is hard for me to be merciful to those that I think should “know better” yet do it anyway, whatever the “it” may be. I know that God takes pleasure when we admit our guilt and ask for forgiveness and he expects that same thing from me. When someone says they are sorry, I am to forgive and forget. Not continually allow it to come to the front of my mind when I get upset with them.

Oh Jesus, friend of sinners, open our eyes to the world at our pointing fingers. Let our heart be led by mercy, help us reach with open hearts and open doors.  Oh Jesus, friend of sinners, break our hearts for what breaks yours.  ~ “Jesus, Friend of Sinners” by Casting Crowns

Ambassadors for Christ

“Brothers and sisters: we are ambassadors for Christ, as if God were appealing through us.”  (2 Corinthians 5:20)

As I was meditating on today’s readings, God reminded me that I am a vessel that he is using to bring others to Christ. I am his ambassador and my actions will either draw others to Christ or turn them away. If I claim to be a Christian yet others hear me gossiping, being short with others, or demanding things are done my way, then I am showing Christ in a negative light. Going to daily Mass and spending time in prayer is in vain if the minute I walk out the door of the chapel I step back into my selfish little world, judging others. At times I don’t even wait until I am out the door. The other day I was being judgmental in my thoughts because the deacon mispronounced the names in the Old Testament reading. I was having sinful thoughts during Mass!

As Lent begins today, the gospel reminds us to, “take care not to perform righteous deeds in order that people may see them; otherwise, you will have no recompense from your heavenly Father.”  (Matthew 6:1) We are not to fast, pray or give alms in a way that others will see in hope of receiving their praise or recognition.  We are to do all these things in secret. The Lord knows what is in our hearts. He is aware of our vanity and selfishness; the very things that we are trying to free ourselves of especially during this Lenten season. In order to be ambassadors for Christ we need to completely conquer self-love which involves a constant struggle against self. The asceticism of Lent is to learn self-mastery of those things that bind us. Not suffering for the sake of suffering but in order to have mastery over those things so we can offer our self to God.  ~ Fr. Stephen Sanchez, O.C.D.

Be Still

Be still. I kept hearing these words this weekend. “Be still and know that I am God.”  (Psalm 46:11) I have a lot going on in my life right now and on top of that I was sick this weekend. Being sick forced me to slow down and I found myself struggling with that. When I am still, my temptations grow stronger and I want to do something to fight against them but I found God telling me to be still and allow Him to drive these temptations out of my head and my heart. I know it is only by His grace that I am ever able to win this battle but I have always felt that I need to fight and call upon the Holy Spirit to help me out. But God was telling me to let go and allow Him to do all of the fighting. He wanted me to give it all over to Him and I found this so difficult to do. It is so hard for me to let go of control. I feel like if I let go then things will start caving in. But the truth is that I am not in control anyway. I am just fooling myself when I believe that I can control the events in my life. Letting go puts me in a situation that scares me but it allows God to come through and show His love for me.

 I know that He has conquered all sin. The power of His resurrection crushes the chains that bind us. Christ’s resurrection sets us free. Before Mass I went into the chapel before the tabernacle and just knelt down. It was hard at first to do nothing but after a few minutes I was able to just be present before the Lord. I was able to take in all the beauty and love present in the chapel. Fr. Jason once told me that in those moments God is kissing me. So I sat and allowed the love of my life to shower me with kisses. 

The Hard Truth

“He began to teach them that the Son of Man must suffer greatly and be rejected by the elders, the chief priests, and the scribes, and be killed, and rise after three days. He spoke this openly. Then Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. At this he turned around and, looking at his disciples, rebuked Peter and said, ‘Get behind me, Satan. You are thinking not as God does, but as human beings do.’” (Mark 8: 31-33)

Jesus spoke openly about what was going to happen to him. And just as it was for Peter, the truth is sometimes hard to hear. Peter knew that Jesus was the Christ. He was the Messiah that they had been waiting for yet Jesus was talking about how he was going to suffer greatly and be killed. The elders, chief priests, and scribes were going to turn on him and kill him. This was too much for Peter to hear so he goes to Jesus and rebukes him. Jesus was their Savior. A savior is meant to bring salvation to his people; to save them from danger or destruction. Why would their Savior talk about being killed? This didn’t make sense to Peter. Jesus’ words are so harsh, Get behind me, Satan, he says to Peter. He calls him Satan! Peter was thinking like a human being because that is what he was. The whole concept of their Messiah being a Suffering Servant instead of a valiant warrior was beyond their comprehension, so much so that Peter didn’t even hear the good news about Jesus’ teaching; He would rise on the third day!

I know the truth is hard for me to hear especially when it has to do with someone I love hurting and even more difficult if I am the one who has caused the hurt. I am thankful for the dear friends that God has placed in my life that help me stay grounded in the truth. My dear friend, Diana, has walked with me on my journey for 8 years now. The hard truths that I have had to face over the years have been easier with her at my side. She never lets me avoid the truth but she always helps me face it with her gentle spirit and compassion. She always invites God to be present when we are together and with God in our midst there is nothing that we can’t handle. We have the hope of the Resurrection, something that Peter wasn’t aware was going to happen and because of this we should never despair.

True Love

I was on a retreat all weekend and missed being able to post my meditations. It was a retreat for the RCIA candidates from my parish. I am sponsoring someone this year and it has been a great experience. The focus of the retreat was on knowing God. There were talks on how to know, love and serve God. There was a talk on God’s love for us and we were reminded that no matter how sinful or stubborn we are we cannot alter God’s love for us. In order for us to have a conversion of heart, we have to believe that God loves us this much otherwise what would be the point? If we felt that there was a point at which God would turn his back on us or retract his covenant with us why would we put our trust in Him?

Yesterday’s Psalm really touched my heart. “Before I was afflicted I went astray but now I hold to your promise.” (Psalm 119:67) So often we take things for granted, we get lazy and too comfortable with our life when things are going well. We may spend less time in prayer, less time reading scripture, less time discerning God’s will for us. But then trouble strikes and we have lost our footing and we begin to cling to the only thing steady and true in our lives, our Lord.

Yesterday my thoughts went the other direction, though. I thought about how we tend to stick around when things are good but leave when we have been afflicted. But true love is remaining faithful even when we have been hurt or betrayed. Sometimes it seems too hard to forgive those that have inflicted deep wounds and all trust in them is gone. You fear even being in their presence because you are afraid they may hurt the small part of you that wasn’t destroyed by them already. And you are certain if that happens, you will never recover. But we are called to live as Christ lived; to forgive one another. We are called to remain faithful in our covenantal relationships such as marriage and family. It is hard for me to say, I am sorry. My pride gets in the way. Yet, as a wife and mother, I must learn to do this. How will my sons learn to humble themselves and seek forgiveness when they have failed another if they never witness this in our home?

On the retreat, the priest mentioned that the commitment of love is a marathon of the heart. It takes work, endurance, and suffering. We must resist the temptation to drop out. We need to stay the course for it is in trying that we become holy. Our love for Him comes out of His love for us. God loves each of us individually, personally and intimately. Our love will never be the perfect love that He has for us but in our faithfulness and obedience we perpetually move toward Christ.

Open My Ears, Lord

“My people heard not my voice, and Israel obeyed me not; so I gave them up to the hardness of their hearts; they walked according to their own counsels. If only my people would hear me, and Israel walk in my ways, quickly would I humble their enemies; against their foes I would turn my hand.”  (Psalm 81: 12-15)

The Lord beckons us to follow in his ways. He constantly reminds us that, “my yoke is easy and my burden light.” Yet we often choose to do things our way. We are his children and he loves us so much. Out of his love for us, he gives us free will. If love isn’t given freely than it isn’t love. If we choose to not obey God then he allows us to walk according to our own counsels. This is when we find ourselves facing our enemies alone. We may struggle to do what is right but to no avail. In today’s Psalm, he tells us that if only we would walk in his ways and not our own, then he would humble our enemies. God doesn’t tell us that we won’t face enemies if we follow him but he will protect us from them and he will not allow us to be defeated by them.

In today’s gospel, the deaf man was brought to Jesus, I am guessing by his friends or family, and they begged Jesus to lay his hand on him. They wanted Jesus to open his ears so that he could hear. My friends that know my struggles take me to Jesus in prayer and beg him to lay his hand on me. They want me to be healed but sometimes I interfere with this. I know that God speaks to me but sometimes it is hard for me to discern what is coming from him. The devil often presents things to us in a way that is intriguing to us. He causes us to doubt ourselves and to be confused by what we are hearing. Is this coming from God or is it my own desire? Does God really want me to be in this place or am I here because this is where I want to be?

Dear Lord, open my heart to your love for me. Open my ears to listen to the words of your Son and give me the courage to walk in your ways. Amen. 

There’s No Place Like Home

These words have been on my heart these last few days. My patient had rapid progression of her cancer and ended up in the hospital. Once we realized the extent of her disease our focus changed from cure to comfort. At 18 years of age she was making decisions about DNR orders, what she would like done if certain situations arose, did she want blood if she needed it? Did she want palliative radiation to alleviate some of her pain? She desperately wanted to get home and that was our goal but we kept running into barriers that prevented this. But finally, after 2-1/2 weeks in the hospital we got her home. Although she needed a hospital bed, oxygen, a suction machine, and IV morphine she was home and in her own bedroom! I was blessed with the opportunity to visit her at home yesterday, she died peacefully last night. Her room definitely expressed her personality and was warm and welcoming. When she got home Friday evening she asked her mom to bring out pictures of her growing up, they were all over her room. She had a big poster that was signed by her friends, sunglasses, stuffed monkeys and green paint on her walls, her favorite color. Her family was so thankful they were able to bring her home.

When my mom was dying of cancer she also wanted to be at home. She hated hospitals and absolutely did not want to be there. So we made sure that she got her wish. Having a family member die at home is an extremely difficult yet beautiful experience. Sitting at a loved one’s side, holding their hand as they move from this life to our ultimate home, heaven, is a rare gift from God.

“Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth. The former heaven and the former earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. I also saw the holy city, a new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, ‘Behold, God’s dwelling is with the human race. He will dwell with them and they will be his people and God himself will always be with them [as their God]. He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there shall be no more death or mourning, wailing or pain, [for] the old order has passed away.’ The one who sat on the throne said, ‘Behold, I make all things new.’ Then he said, ‘Write these words down, for they are trustworthy and true.’ He said to me, ‘They are accomplished. I [am] the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. To the thirsty I will give a gift from the spring of life-giving water. The victor will inherit these gifts, and I shall be his God, and he will be my son.’” (Revelation 21:1-6)

Living the Gospel

“Brothers and sisters: If I preach the gospel, this is no reason for me to boast, for an obligation has been imposed on me, and woe to me if I do not preach it! If I do so willingly, I have a recompense, but if unwillingly, then I have been entrusted with a stewardship. What then is my recompense? That, when I preach, I offer the gospel free of charge so as not to make full use of my right in the gospel. Although I am free in regard to all, I have made myself a slave to all so as to win over as many as possible. To the weak I became weak, to win over the weak. I have become all things to all, to save at least some. All this I do for the sake of the gospel, so that I too may have a share in it.” (1 Corinthians 9:16-19, 22-23)

We are called to do that which St. Paul was called to do. Evangelizing is an obligation that has been imposed on each Christian and woe to us if we do not preach it! This isn’t just for those who speak well in front of others or those who are ordained or have a degree in Theology. God needs each one of us to spread the gospel to the ends of the earth. He uses us where we are at. If we are students, then our school is a place of evangelization. Our place of work is where we need to evangelize. As parents we are called to raise our children in the faith and we do this best through our actions. Parents want to protect their children from things that aren’t pleasant but it is doing them a disservice. How can children develop empathy for others and a heart of service if they think that everyone has a home to live in, food to eat and clothing to keep them warm? How can they learn to reach out to fellow students if they think that everyone lives in a home free of abuse, addiction or hatred? They don’t look for opportunities to reach out to others if they don’t even know the need is there. When I was in high school and my brother died in a motorcycle accident, a fellow student who didn’t even know me took the time to write me a card letting me know that her sister had died in an accident and that she was there for me. Her little act of kindness was huge! To know that I wasn’t alone and that someone else knew what I was going through and cared about me will never be forgotten. This happened 31 years ago and I remember every detail of that day when she handed me the card and gave me a hug.

Doing our part is a lifelong obligation. Jesus moved on to the nearby villages so that he could preach to as many people as possible; to cure the sick and drive out demons. My family used to feed the homeless on Sundays and we loved it. But the place where we volunteered became popular and it became harder and harder to get a spot, currently they have nothing until August! This is wonderful for the people who run the Stew Pot and for the homeless at The Bridge. So, now it is our time to move on and to prayerfully consider where God is calling us to serve next. It is so easy to get caught up in the business of our lives and to forget about those most in need or to write a check and think we have done our part. Financial support is an absolute must but it is just the beginning. We need to be the hands, feet, voice and ears of Christ and to be amongst those whose needs are the greatest. 

Feast of the Presentation of the Lord

Mary and Joseph desire to unite their newborn child with the divine presence dwelling in the temple – the privileged place of encounter with God. By that Presentation, Jesus is shown to be the firstborn Son who belongs to the Lord. This revelation transforms the way that we belong. Christ’s visits to the temple later in life re-presented his Presentation by intensifying this infant encounter with his Father. Ultimately, Christ identifies himself with the temple: he is God’s dwelling place among people. As today Mary carries her baby to the temple, she is leading Jesus and us to our own true self.  ~ Magnificat

It is in God’s presence that our true self is revealed. His light bathes us with his radiance. So we bring all of our self to the Lord. We bring our joys and sorrows, our triumphs and failures, our hopes and dreams, our fears and doubts. We bring our wounds and that which He has healed; our pride and selfishness, our humility and our love. It is in presenting all of our self to the Lord that we become our true self. God takes all of that and uses it for his glory. He refines us, burning away all that is not of Him and adorns that which is good and holy. We all are good and holy because we are made in the image and likeness of God. Sometimes we aren’t able to see the good in ourselves and that is when we most need to present ourselves to Him. We allow him to reveal to us our goodness and worth; he knows it is there, it is us who doubts our goodness and doubt that we are loved unconditionally.

“Lift up, O gates, your lintels; reach up, you ancient portals, that the king of glory may come in!” (Psalm 24: 9)

We are beckoned to allow the King of Glory to enter into our lives. As we take on God’s love and light we become our true self. We grow in holiness and “become strong, filled with wisdom; and the favor of God is upon [us].” (Luke 2:40) Just as it was with Jesus the Christ child. 

Seeing the Potential in Others

When the Sabbath came he began to teach in the synagogue, and many who heard him were astonished. They said, "Where did this man get all this? What kind of wisdom has been given him?

What mighty deeds are wrought by his hands! Is he not the carpenter, the son of Mary, and the brother of James and Joseph and Judas and Simon? And are not his sisters here with us?" And they took offense at him. Jesus said to them, "A prophet is not without honor except in his native place and among his own kin and in his own house." So he was not able to perform any mighty deed there, apart from curing a few sick people by laying his hands on them. He was amazed at their lack of faith. (Mark 6:2-6)

We are so often like the people in today’s gospel. We place people in categories and think we know them. We expect certain things from certain people. Our expectations may be high and we are let down when they don’t meet our expectations. But worse than that are the times we don’t expect much from others. We think by the way they speak, or dress, their age, or maybe by their line of work that they don’t have much to offer. This is such a pity because when we don’t expect much from others they often do just that. We suppress their spirit and don’t allow them the opportunity to surprise us. And when they do the unexpected we often respond like those in the synagogue. They wanted to know why this carpenter, the son of a peasant woman, has this wisdom and power to do mighty deeds. Rather than having a positive reaction, they take offense and reject him. Just as Jesus wasn’t able to perform mighty deeds in Nazareth because of their lack of faith, we often keep others from excelling because we lack faith in their ability. They fulfill the prophecy we have placed before them.

Heavenly Father, help me to take on the eyes of Christ and soften my heart so that I may see the beauty and potential that lies in each and every person you have created. Help me to encourage, instead of discourage, this potential and allow you to perform miracles in our daily lives. Amen.