True Love

I was on a retreat all weekend and missed being able to post my meditations. It was a retreat for the RCIA candidates from my parish. I am sponsoring someone this year and it has been a great experience. The focus of the retreat was on knowing God. There were talks on how to know, love and serve God. There was a talk on God’s love for us and we were reminded that no matter how sinful or stubborn we are we cannot alter God’s love for us. In order for us to have a conversion of heart, we have to believe that God loves us this much otherwise what would be the point? If we felt that there was a point at which God would turn his back on us or retract his covenant with us why would we put our trust in Him?

Yesterday’s Psalm really touched my heart. “Before I was afflicted I went astray but now I hold to your promise.” (Psalm 119:67) So often we take things for granted, we get lazy and too comfortable with our life when things are going well. We may spend less time in prayer, less time reading scripture, less time discerning God’s will for us. But then trouble strikes and we have lost our footing and we begin to cling to the only thing steady and true in our lives, our Lord.

Yesterday my thoughts went the other direction, though. I thought about how we tend to stick around when things are good but leave when we have been afflicted. But true love is remaining faithful even when we have been hurt or betrayed. Sometimes it seems too hard to forgive those that have inflicted deep wounds and all trust in them is gone. You fear even being in their presence because you are afraid they may hurt the small part of you that wasn’t destroyed by them already. And you are certain if that happens, you will never recover. But we are called to live as Christ lived; to forgive one another. We are called to remain faithful in our covenantal relationships such as marriage and family. It is hard for me to say, I am sorry. My pride gets in the way. Yet, as a wife and mother, I must learn to do this. How will my sons learn to humble themselves and seek forgiveness when they have failed another if they never witness this in our home?

On the retreat, the priest mentioned that the commitment of love is a marathon of the heart. It takes work, endurance, and suffering. We must resist the temptation to drop out. We need to stay the course for it is in trying that we become holy. Our love for Him comes out of His love for us. God loves each of us individually, personally and intimately. Our love will never be the perfect love that He has for us but in our faithfulness and obedience we perpetually move toward Christ.