Be still. I kept hearing these words this weekend. “Be still and know that I am God.” (Psalm 46:11) I have a lot going on in my life right now and on top of that I was sick this weekend. Being sick forced me to slow down and I found myself struggling with that. When I am still, my temptations grow stronger and I want to do something to fight against them but I found God telling me to be still and allow Him to drive these temptations out of my head and my heart. I know it is only by His grace that I am ever able to win this battle but I have always felt that I need to fight and call upon the Holy Spirit to help me out. But God was telling me to let go and allow Him to do all of the fighting. He wanted me to give it all over to Him and I found this so difficult to do. It is so hard for me to let go of control. I feel like if I let go then things will start caving in. But the truth is that I am not in control anyway. I am just fooling myself when I believe that I can control the events in my life. Letting go puts me in a situation that scares me but it allows God to come through and show His love for me.
I know that He has conquered all sin. The power of His resurrection crushes the chains that bind us. Christ’s resurrection sets us free. Before Mass I went into the chapel before the tabernacle and just knelt down. It was hard at first to do nothing but after a few minutes I was able to just be present before the Lord. I was able to take in all the beauty and love present in the chapel. Fr. Jason once told me that in those moments God is kissing me. So I sat and allowed the love of my life to shower me with kisses.
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