Today is Palm Sunday and I was reflecting on what Jesus must have felt like knowing what was in store for him. He enters the city of Jerusalem being hailed by the people, “Hosanna! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord! Blessed is the kingdom of our father David that is to come! Hosanna in the highest! (Mark 11:9-10) Yet he knows that in a few days, these same people will be yelling, “Crucify him!” What a dramatic turn in just a few days.
During my reflection what came to mind was one of my patients. It is frightening for anyone to get the diagnosis of cancer. There is so much unknown. Am I going to die? How is the chemotherapy going to make me feel? And for a teenager there are even more questions. What will people think of me? Will they be afraid to be around me? Will they stare at me when I lose my hair? Can I continue doing the things I love to do? Will I be able to go to prom? Will I be able to graduate? One of my patients was diagnosed in November of her junior year of high school. She underwent chemotherapy, a huge surgery to remove a large part of her right femur where the tumor was and it was replaced with a metal prosthesis. She underwent grueling physical therapy to learn how to walk again. After completing 10 months of chemotherapy and recovering from her surgery she endured radiation to her lungs. She endured all of this with such grace. She never complained, she reached out to others kids when they were diagnosed with cancer so that they would know they were not alone. And through all of this she was able to keep up with her school work and graduated with her class in 2011. A few months later she slipped and fell in a department store banging up her left leg and had this persistent pain. At first we attributed it to the fall because the pain was in her other leg, not where the cancer had been. But when the pain did not go away we did a MRI and found a large tumor in her left leg. We were all devastated. Her type of cancer usually comes back in the same place or spreads to the lungs. You don’t get another large tumor at a completely different place in your body! We knew that we were facing a huge battle.
This is why she came to mind when I was reflecting on Christ. She knew how grueling this road was going to be. She knew the pain she would endure. She knew the devastation that her body would experience; the hair loss, the nausea, vomiting, fatigue and pain. She knew she would experience the loneliness, the hospital stays, and the radiation treatments. She also knew that she would see the terror in her parents’ face and would once again try to comfort her mom when she couldn’t hold back her tears. Yet, just as Christ did, she took up her cross and never once complained. She was confident in God’s love for her and knew that he would never abandon her. Even as her cancer continued to spread despite the treatments she received, her trust in God was never shaken. I was blessed to spend a little time with her a few hours before she died. We made a home visit and she was so glad to be in her own bedroom surrounded by her family. She was confident that she would soon be with her King and no longer have to suffer. She was an amazing young woman and I am so thankful that I was blessed to share in a small part of her life. I pray that God gives me the strength to bear my crosses with a hint of the grace that I witnessed in my patient.
Heavenly Father, help me to draw closer to your Son, our Lord, Jesus Christ, during this Holy Week. With reverence, help me to enter into the events of this week, to reflect deeply on His suffering and death which he bore for my sins so that I may share in his resurrection and new life. Help me to take up my cross daily with joy, knowing that I am doing your will. Amen.
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