Soar in His Love

 I found these words, Soar in His Love, on a little silver pocket stone and thought it was so beautiful. I immediately began to smile as the message resonated in my heart. To soar in His love, what does that mean? To soar puts you above all the things of this world. Looking down on them puts everything in a different perspective. Sometimes we are so caught up in something that we lose all perspective whether it is something pleasurable that gets too strong of a pull on our heart and we allow it to become our focus or maybe it is something that is painful and it causes us to lose hope. To soar in His love means to let go of everything and allow God’s love to carry us to new heights where we can begin to see with new eyes; to see with the eyes of Christ. Our pain is replaced with hope, hope for complete healing. 

We have a parent at the hospital who recently buried her son but rather than allowing her grief to draw her into herself she is reaching out to others. She is reaching out to other families who are dealing with their child’s cancer. Her heart hurts and she misses her son every moment of every day but she knows that her son is soaring with the angels in His perfect love. And she is allowing His love to carry her, too. To soar in His love allows us to be free of anything that weighs us down. But in order to soar we have to let go of everything. By letting go we let God be God. It shows that we trust in Him; we trust that He will take us to places we can never go on our own. We trust that He will never let us fall but carry us with His love.

As I was meditating on these words the image of the scales falling off of Saul’s eyes came to mind. “So Ananias went and entered the house; laying his hands on him, he said, ‘Saul, my brother, the Lord has sent me, Jesus who appeared to you on the way by which you came, that you may regain your sight and be filled with the holy Spirit.’ Immediately things like scales fell from his eyes and he regained his sight.”  (Acts 9:17-18) As we begin to soar, going higher and higher, our “scales” fall off, everything useless falls away and we can rest on the wings of love.  

Anticipation

 “Gird your loins and light your lamps and be like servants who await their master’s return from a wedding, ready to open immediately when he comes and knocks. Blessed are those servants whom the master finds vigilant on his arrival…You also must be prepared, for at an hour you do not expect, the Son of Man will come.” (Luke 12: 35-37, 40)

Today we are reminded that we must live each day in anticipation of the Lord’s coming. If the Lord would come today, what would he find? I know for myself that he would find that it has been two months since my last confession and that my sins are weighing heavy on me. They cause me to be cynical and wonder why I should even bother going if I am going to repeat the same sins again. I usually go once a month but have allowed the business of my life to get in the way. A priest recently told me that I must always trust in God’s mercy and to see the sacrament [of Confession] as an opportunity to touch the hem of our loving, merciful savior. No longer will I allow my pride or cynicism to keep me from this gift God has given us; an opportunity to be reunited with Him and washed cleaned by the blood of his Son.

Being vigilant means to actively seek God, anticipate His coming, and to be watching for Him. I know that when I had family coming to town last month for my birthday there was joy in my heart as I anticipated their arrival. I made sure the house was in order and the day of their arrival I kept a watch at the front window checking frequently to see if they were here yet, you could feel the excitement in the air! As we await the Lord’s coming we must constantly live a life of holiness and virtue. And when we falter and sin, which we will do often, we must run to the confessional and once again be united with Christ. We need to nurture our relationship with Him through prayer and receive His grace that he offers to us through the sacraments.

Today’s gospel goes on to tell us, “That servant who knew his master’s will but did not make preparations nor act in accord with his will shall be beaten severely.” (12:47) Free will is a gift God gave to no other creature but man. And we will be held accountable for the choices that we make. If we “get beaten severely” it is by our own doing. We know what is right but are we willing to do it? We know that the Lord is coming, are we willing to live a life in constant vigilance or do we allow ourselves to become complacent? We cannot afford to become complacent about the Lord’s coming because it is truly a matter of eternal life or death.

Promises

 “Moses was tending the flock of his father-in-law Jethro, the priest of Midian. Leading the flock across the desert, he came to Horeb, the mountain of God. There an angel of the Lord appeared to him in fire flaming out of a bush. As he looked on, he was surprised to see that the bush, though on fire, was not consumed. So Moses decided, ‘I must go over to look at this remarkable sight, and see why the bush is not burned.’ When the LORD saw him coming over to look at it more closely, God called out to him from the bush, ‘Moses! Moses!’ He answered, ‘Here I am.’” Then God said to him, “Come, now! I will send you to Pharaoh to lead my people, the children of Israel, out of Egypt.’ But Moses said to God, ‘Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and lead the children of Israel out of Egypt?’ He answered, ‘I will be with you; and this shall be your proof that it is I who have sent you: when you bring my people out of Egypt, you will worship God on this very mountain.’” (Exodus 3: 1-4, 10-12)

As Moses approached the burning bush, did he in his wildest dreams imagine that it would be God speaking to him? When he realized it was God and that God wanted to use him as one of his leaders, Moses balked at the idea. Was it out of humility that he protested? Did he think he wasn’t worthy? Or did he protest out of fear or because he knew that what God was asking of him would be very difficult? I encounter families every day who are facing one of the most difficult things that could be asked of them. They are faced with their child being diagnosed with a life-threatening illness and having to undergo cancer treatment. I know that most of these parents, if not all of them, would take the pain and suffering on themselves rather than watch their child endure the terrible treatments.

The mother of a teen recently diagnosed with cancer mentioned that she has never felt closer to Mary then she does now as she watches her son suffer. His very life is threatened and there was no way to prevent this from happening. Her son is united with Christ on the cross and she is united with Mary, unable to take this cross from her son. God tells Moses that that he will be with him and even promises proof that it is He who is asking this of him. This very promise that he gave to Moses is the same promise he gives to each of us, I’ll be with you. As we are faced with the struggles of this life let us always remember that we are never alone and God will not abandon us.  

Faithful Servant

 “The one who had received five talents came forward bringing the additional five. He said, ‘Master, you gave me five talents. See, I have made five more.’ His master said to him, ‘Well done, my good and faithful servant. Since you were faithful in small matters, I will give you great responsibilities. Come, share your master’s joy.’” (Matthew 25:20-21)

Today was the funeral and burial of a beloved Cistercian monk, Fr. Matthew Kovács. I wasn’t able to attend the funeral today but I did attend the Rosary last night. Fr. Matthew was born in Hungary and in 1949 entered the novitiate in the Cistercian Abbey of Zirc, experiencing the last 10 months of the monastery’s existence before its suppression by the Communists. Our Lady of Dallas, a monastery of the Cistercian Order was founded by refugees from Hungary. The monastery founded Cistercian Preparatory School in Irving, Texas and Fr. Matthew was a teacher for many years. Each decade of the Rosary was led by one of the Cistercian monks that had been one of his students, including the present Abbot. After the recitation of the rosary, a couple of people spoke to those who had gathered in the chapel. One of them was a young priest who recounted the story of his first interaction with Fr. Matthew. It was a simple yet beautiful story of a terribly shy 10 year old boy and a Hungarian monk. Not many words were exchanged but the simple act of the monk climbing on his desk to reach his stash of cookies and then offer them to this young man left a memory that will never be forgotten. The simple act of sharing cookies began the journey of this young man becoming a Cistercian monk who will also live out the rest of his life in this same monastery that Fr. Matthew helped establish. There was such joy in this young priest’s telling of this story. My first encounter with Fr. Matthew was a little humorous and each time I think back on it I can’t help but smile.

His obituary spoke about the trials he endured during Communism and the long arduous journey of his becoming a priest. It was a good reminder to us all that we must always persevere through hardships and keep our eyes on Christ. While the grief will be great for many whose lives were touched and forever changed by their encounters with Fr. Matthew, there is comfort in knowing that he died peacefully in his sleep and is now rejoicing with our King. It is comforting to know that we have another saint watching over us and interceding for us. What a great model of a good and faithful servant we have in Fr. Matthew.

The Lost Sheep

“Jesus summoned his Twelve disciples and gave them authority over unclean spirits to drive them out and to cure every disease and every illness. Jesus sent out these Twelve after instructing them thus, ‘Do not go into pagan territory or enter a Samaritan town. Go rather to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.” (Matthew 10:1, 5-6)

Jesus came for all mankind. He came for the gentiles and the Jews; the pagans and the Samaritans. But in today’s gospel he is instructing his disciples to focus on the lost sheep of Israel. 

God sometimes asks the same of us. He wants us to focus on those in our own family who have strayed from the Church and to reach out to them. Maybe it is a sibling, a spouse or a child; or it may be our parents. We need to pray for them daily and provide opportunities for them to voice what is on their heart. Maybe they feel that God abandoned them at some point in their life. Maybe they feel shunned by the church because they are divorced or had a bad experience in confession with a priest who was judgmental instead of merciful. The church is made up of sinners and we sometimes do hurtful things to one another. But as disciples we must present the divine, unchanging Truth to each person in such a way as to make it understood and loved. ~ Elizabeth Lesuer

We hear many references to sheep in scripture, especially lost sheep. In Matthew’s Parable of the Lost Sheep, the question is asked. “If a man has a hundred sheep and one of them goes astray, will he not leave the ninety-nine in the hills and go in search of the stray? And if he finds it, amen, I say to you, he rejoices more over it than over the ninety-nine that did not stray. In just the same way, it is not the will of your heavenly Father that one of these little ones be lost.” (18:12-14)

There are so many lost sheep. Our world is full of sin, pain, hatred and death. At times the burdens of this life seem too great to bear. Often, it is during times like these that people turn away from God. But we must continue to be a hopeful people and trust in His promise. Others look to those that claim to be Christian especially during trials. They look to see if we remain hopeful and trust in God even when things look hopeless. Do we offer everything to God in prayer or do we become bitter and angry when we are faced with horrible circumstances? Do we continue to praise Him in the storm? Our life is our witness to others and how we respond to the circumstances in our life can help draw others closer to Christ or lead them further astray.  There is much rejoicing when one of the lost sheep is found and brought home.  Dear Lord, help me to lead other to you just as others led me back to you when I was so lost. I want others to know the love and mercy that I have experienced upon returning to you with a humble and contrite heart. Amen.  

The Greatest Commandments

 “One of the scribes came to Jesus and asked him, ‘Which is the first of all the commandments?’ Jesus replied, ‘The first is this: Hear O Israel! The Lord our God is Lord alone! You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and all your strength. The second is this: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. There is no other commandment greater than these.” (Mark 12:28-31)

Love your neighbor as yourself. This has always been hard for me to grasp, not the part about loving your neighbor but the part about loving them as you love yourself. For most of my life I did not love myself. I didn’t think I was loveable in anyone’s eyes including myself and God. So I’ve always prayed for God to help me love as he loves, to see others with the love of Christ. This is where I draw my strength to love those that I find difficult to love. But I have had to learn to love myself and believe that I am loveable. I prayed for God to drive out of my heart those demons that kept me in darkness and would continually pull me under when I was beginning to be free of their lies.

I have a journal of my favorite scripture passages and several of them remind me of God’s love for me that he has had from the beginning. “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; before you were born I dedicated you…” (Jeremiah 1:5) “You formed my inmost being; you knit me in my mother’s womb…my days were shaped, before one came to be.” (Psalm 139:13, 16) God is all-knowing, he knew everything about me, all my failures and sins, even before I was in my mother’s womb and he has always loved me. For the longest time I believed this about others but I didn’t believe it about myself. But God has placed some amazing faith-filled people in my life that have helped me to see that I am loveable. They have taught me scripture, the very ones that I mentioned above and many more that reveal His love for each and every one of us. Our bible is the living Word, God speaks to us through this living Word. The words written in Jeremiah weren’t just written for him but for each of God’s children. Christ’s resides in me, just as he does in each one of us, and it is through this understanding that I have learned to love myself and to love my neighbor as myself. 

Faithfulness

“Jesus said to him in reply, ‘What do you want me to do for you?’ The blind man replied, ‘Master, I want to see.’ Jesus told him, ‘Go your way; your faith has saved you.’ Immediately he received his sight and followed him on the way.” (Mark 10:51-52)

Faith is a gift from God. It is a gift that we must accept from Him and then nurture it. Bartimaeus doesn’t just receive his healing and go on like we see in the story of the ten lepers. No, he is fully aware of the Giver of his gift of sight and wants to live out his life in gratitude and faithfulness to God. The basis of our faithfulness is God’s faithfulness throughout the ages. There is a constancy to God that is unchanging, therefore he is worthy of our trust. God remains faithful even when we are not. He is always there to receive us with love and mercy when we decide to return to him. “The favors of the LORD are not exhausted, his mercies are not spent; they are renewed each morning, so great is his faithfulness.”  (Lamentations 3:22-23)

What blindness do we need to overcome? If we truly want to “see” so that we can live as we have been called to live then we must pray for God to reveal to us our brokenness, to see the areas in our lives where we are failing. To see the sins that we try to downplay and the idols in our lives that pull us from Him.  In the gospel the men tell the blind man, “Take courage; get up he is calling you.” Lord, give me the courage to look at these areas in my life so that you can heal them. Help me to live a life of faithfulness as Bartimaeus did.  I want to live a life of gratitude and faithfulness. Help me to see that living a life of faithfulness doesn’t require me to do great things but to do everything with great love. 

Faithful Friend

 “A faithful friend is a sturdy shelter; he who finds one finds a treasure. A faithful friend is beyond price, no sum can balance his worth. A faithful friend is a life-saving remedy, such as he who fears God finds; for he who fears God behaves accordingly, and his friend will be like himself.” (Sirach 6:14-17)

I love the Book of Sirach. When my RCIA candidate got her Catholic bible I told her to read Sirach. It is a wonderful treasure that isn’t found in the Protestant bibles. A faithful friend truly is beyond price. Earlier in this passage from today’s reading we hear examples of friendships that don’t last. 

“One sort of friend is a friend when it suits him, but he will not be with you in time of distress. Another is a friend who becomes an enemy, and tells of the quarrel to your shame. Another is a friend, a boon companion who will not be with you when sorrow comes.” (6:8-10) I am sure most of us can recall friends who fell into one of these examples. And it can be devastating when that happens. When you are experiencing a difficult time in your life you rely on your friends to be there for you, not to abandon you in your time of need. This happens often when someone experiences the death of a loved one and family and friends don’t know what to say or do so they pull away. This happened to me my senior year of high school when my brother was killed in a motorcycle accident. I was actually at my best friend’s house when I received the call from my dad asking me to go home because Kevin had been in an accident. From that day on my friend avoided me. I am sure it was because she didn’t know what to say or do, but it was devastating for me. Not only had I lost my brother, but I lost my best friend.

Over the years people come and go in our lives and that is expected. We are called to live in community but the world is always changing. Often times God places people in our lives for a short time and that is all  that God intended. I have tried to hang onto relationships even after they were meant to change or end. When my mother was dying my priest friend was a source of great comfort and strength. Not too long after that things changed but I didn't want them to. I tried to cling to that relationship which only made things worse. My love had turned from being Christ-like to selfishness. When we start to make things about ourselves then love isn't involved because love is selfless and sacrifice. I had to let go of my own desires and re-focus on Christ. I am learning to embrace the gift of friendship that God places in my life for as long as he wants it to be there. And always reminding myself that the love of God is the only thing that is unchanging. I give thanks to God for the wonderful, like-minded Christian men and women he has placed in my life and try to live in the joy of His love moment by moment.  

Do Not Delay

Today’s first reading gives us much instruction on how we ought to live. “Of forgiveness be not overconfident, adding sin upon sin. Say not: ‘Great is his mercy; my many sins he will forgive.’” (Sirach 5:5-6) 

How often do we fall into the sin of presumption? How often do we postpone going to confession so we can continue doing our will and not His? Or maybe we have gotten so lax about receiving the Sacrament of Reconciliation thinking we don’t need it because we haven’t committed a mortal sin. All sin causes separation from God who is the source of Life so all sin has a deadly component to it. Sin clouds our judgment and frequently receiving the Sacrament of Reconciliation gets rid of the clouds. It clears our hearts and we step out of the confessional ready to stand firm in our faith and avoid the occasions of sin.

“Delay not your conversion to the LORD, put it not off from day to day.” (Sirach 5:8) Whenever I read this verse I think of my husband. I often wonder what he is waiting for. What is it that keeps him from drawing closer to God? What is it that keeps him from embracing the Catholic faith? But I can’t worry about that. I have to place it in God’s hands. This passage speaks to all of us because each day we must choose to follow Christ, each day we have to embrace our cross. In the early church they believed that baptism brought the forgiveness of sins and that those who were numbered among the faithful were expected to live exemplary lives. During this time period the penitential practices for those who lapsed into immorality were quite severe so some converts chose to wait until the end of their lives figuring that a deathbed baptism would be more effective because it would wash away more sins and decrease the amount of time they had to live an exemplary life. What a gamble! How often were they wrong about that? The time for each one of us to choose Christ is now.

In a meditation by Dom Mauro Giuseppe Lepori, the Abbot General of the Cistercian Order, he wrote about Peter’s decision to follow Jesus. Every day Peter felt the joy of being able to love Jesus by allowing himself to be carried, by everyone and by everything, where he would not have wanted to go except for Jesus. It was joy and the height of freedom to sacrifice one’s own will for the will of the Beloved. What freedom, to want what would be undesirable except for love! His hands were always stretched out, always empty, always ready to let himself be taken and led by Christ in everything, by Christ in everyone, always. Let us not delay in surrendering to Christ and allowing him to lead us where he may. 

In His Name

“John said to him, ‘Teacher, we saw someone driving out demons in your name, and we tried to prevent him because he does not follow us.’ Jesus replied, ‘Do not prevent him. There is no one who can perform mighty deeds in my name who can at the same time speak ill of me. For whoever is not against us is for us.’” (Mark 9:38-40)

The Lord can use any of us for his glory. He didn’t just allow the Apostles to drive out demons. There were many things that the Apostles still needed to learn. God is all powerful and only goodness comes from Him so anything done in His name will bring glory. For man to do anything “in His name” there is some degree of faith. If man did not believe in God then he wouldn’t do something in his name, faith must be present. We see in Matthew’s gospel that the “disciples approached Jesus in private and said, ‘Why could we not drive it out?’ He said to them, ‘Because of your little faith.’” (17:19-20) The disciples’ lack of faith prevented them from driving the demon out from the boy.

There are many Christians in the world and instead of allowing our different religious beliefs keep us divided, we need to unite ourselves. We all believe in the same Lord so we need to come together and show the world what can be done in His name. Just think if we band together to protect the rights of the unborn we could put an end to abortion. If we changed our mindset and instead of doing things without any thought or for our own sake and did them in His name the world would be a much more loving place. If we saw Christ in every person that crosses our path and reached out to them with love, the simple act of smiling at someone could have a huge impact.

“In the Lord’s name, every action takes on a different aspect. It is as if the most interior impulse that moves us to a deed would sanctify the slightest and most exterior aspect of our action.”  (Adrienne Von Speyr) The Lord sanctifies our action and his love is spread from person to person. We need to come together and do all things in His name. It is through this change in our focus that loneliness, fear, hunger, sickness and demons can be driven out. 

Spirit of Truth

 “Jesus said to his disciples: ‘I have much more to tell you, but you cannot bear it now. But when he comes, the Spirit of truth, he will guide you to all truth.’” (John 16:12-13)

We are unable to bear the fullness of truth here on earth. The Holy Spirit has been sent to guide us to all truth. It is our journey, we are sojourners. This is our story, our love story with a God who loves us beyond our wildest imagination. Our minds can only take in so much at one time. Whether it is good news or terrible news, we can only bear so much.

At work when we meet with a family for the first time and tell them that their child has cancer they quickly get to the point where they can bear no more. Their minds go numb and they don’t hear what else we have to say. We have to find that balance of getting done what needs to be done so we can make the final diagnosis and start the treatment and moving at a pace where they can begin to understand it all. The news often knocks them to their knees, takes their breath away. But the Holy Spirit steps in and guides us. He comforts the family and leads them on this unimaginable journey on which they will embark and all the while pouring God’s love upon them. And he guides those of us who care for the sick, filling us with wisdom and compassion and renewing our spirit so we can continue to do His work.

The Holy Spirit was sent to keep our hearts and minds rooted in Christ. He was sent to reveal to us the Truth of our loving God who does not will for us to suffer but wills for our redemption. But God knew that we would suffer because we live in a broken world. God is goodness and love itself and he so loved us that he sent his only Son that we might have life, God’s life, the life for which we are called to live. God is always near, for it is “in him we live and move and have our being.” (Acts 17:28) So when life becomes more than we can bear, remember that Christ knew that would be the case and he provided a means for us to endure even when life seems unbearable. Let us be open to the God who loves us beyond our comprehension and allow the Spirit of Truth to  guide us on our journey. 

A New Jerusalem

 “Then I, John, saw a new heaven and a new earth. The former heaven and the former earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. I also saw the holy city, a new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, ‘Behold, God’s dwelling is with the human race. He will dwell with them and they will be his people and God himself will always be with them as their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there shall be no more death or mourning, wailing or pain, for the old order has passed away.’ The One who sat on the throne said, ‘Behold, I make all things new.’” (Revelation 21:1-5)

I love this passage from Revelation. We chose it for my mother’s funeral. It is a promise of hope. There will come a time when there will be no more tears, no more death, and no more pain. But in the meantime, we are reminded that God dwells among us and will always be with us. My mom’s birthday was on April 25^th and it is always a hard day. She has been on my heart a lot these past few days. During his homily today the priest was speaking about the gospel and spoke about when Jesus said,  my children, I will be with you only a little while longer. I say to you, love one another. As I have loved you, so you also should love one another. The priest said that it reminds him of a parent who is dying and gathers his children around him. He tells the children to stay together, to be there for one another and to love one another. Don’t let anything tear the family apart.

The ten days before my mother died, we gathered in my parents’ home. The hospital bed was set up in the den and we placed my mom in the bed on September 6^th and she remained there until she died on the 16^th. My siblings and my dad gathered around the bed and cared for her around the clock. We took turns feeding her, turning her, bathing her, comforting her, praying with her and so many other things during those moments that we will always cherish. My mother hated hospitals and to allow her to die at home was pure gift. In the past it wasn’t always peaceful between my siblings and me but something miraculous happened. During those 10 days we drew closer and closer together. Often times that kind of stress can tear families apart, but for us it drew us together. Even though we were exhausted, oftentimes overwhelmed with watching our mother suffer, we also found strength in one another. There was a peace in my parents’ home which had never been there before. And since our mother’s death we have remained close. There have been many trials since, we almost lost our brother Scott who was in a diabetic coma, but we have continued to draw strength from one another and from our Lord and Savior. He has dwelt among us through all of life, our joys as well as our deepest sorrows. And we keep our eyes turned toward heaven, waiting for the New Jerusalem to come down from heaven and allow God to make all things new.

Life More Abundantly

“I came so that they might have life and have it more abundantly.” (John 10:10)

God not only wants us to live our life, but he sent his Son so that we may live it fully. At times we may feel that when we do things our way that we are living in freedom but the reality is that our selfishness keeps us in chains. We can be slaves to the world or choose to be a servant of the Lord. God desires only what is good for us and sent his Son to set us free. To live abundantly means to allow Christ to ignite our hearts with his love. Christ awakened my soul nine years ago. I didn’t realize that a part of me was numb inside until Christ entered my life and I began to experience true love that only comes from God. His love has set my heart on fire for Him and has given me the courage to step out in faith instead of living in fear. It has awakened a hunger in me to know him and to please him. He has opened my eyes and I now see His beauty all around me. And he has placed a tenderness in my heart to comfort the sick and dying.

To truly live encompasses all sorts of emotions, you are able to love more deeply and experience great joy but also great sorrow. When you love someone and they are taken from you of course your heart is going to hurt, but even in our sorrow we feel His presence. When we live abundantly we are sustained by God’s promise even in our darkest, most painful moments and it is this hope that keeps us from falling into despair. We all have a longing in our hearts to know God and if we allow this longing to draw us closer to Him instead of trying to fill it with the things of this world or trying to block it out with all the noise and distractions that bombard us, the more of His love we will experience. We will align ourselves with the Truth and be empowered to boldly live a life worthy of Christ.

“What God’s long for us to do is to live in the truth Jesus reveals. This means believing in God’s absolute, unconditional love in a way that transforms our attitudes and whole approach to life.”  ~ Sister Ruth Burrows, O.C.D.

God Provides

 “Then Jesus took the loaves, gave thanks, and distributed them to those who were reclining, and also as much of the fish as they wanted.”  (John 6:11) 

Yesterday’s gospel was about the multiplication of the loaves. Jesus fed 5,000 with five barley loaves and two fish. He took all that he had and offered it up to his Father. He gave thanks and then gave what he had to the people and it was more than enough. God is capable of fulfilling all of our needs both physical and spiritual. I attended a concert last night that benefited the Mid Cities Pregnancy Center. This organization has been offering hope to pregnant women for 28 years and has saved over 25,000 babies from being aborted. The woman who has been the head of the organization for the past 25 years got up and spoke. Their whole mission is built on the foundation of Jesus Christ. She said that Jesus is the one who helps these women to have a change of heart and that it is Jesus who heals the wounds of abortion. The staff at the center speak the Truth and tell women and men the truth about conception and the gift of life. All their care is free. They provide sonograms so that the woman can see that her baby is truly alive, not an “it”. They support the woman throughout the pregnancy. They don’t judge her, they love her with the heart of Christ.

And while they have saved over 25,000 babies, more than 75,000 women have entered their doors over the years. So they continue His work, defending the most vulnerable. They don’t judge the women who leave and they continue to pray for them. They offer post-abortion care to the women and men whose lives have been damaged by their decision to kill their child. They know that these women and men will have deep wounds that only Christ can heal and so they welcome them with open arms. They are His hands and feet. God has provided this organization with the means to offer these services free of charge. They have put their trust in Him, the giver of life, and He provides. 

God So Loved the World

“For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him might not perish but might have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world might be saved through him.”  (John 3:16-17)

God created us out of love to share in the perfect love that is poured out between the Father and the Son and from which the Holy Spirit flows. But through disobedience man brought darkness and evil upon the world. But God never stopped loving us. He continually tried to re-establish his covenant with man but throughout history we have turned our back on Him. In order to put an end to death and make possible once again eternal life with Him, he sent his Son into the world. For those who believe in his Son and live the Truth, the crown of glory awaits them.

His Son took on our humanity, he took our sin and he bore our shame. He embraced every insult, every betrayal, every injury, lie, hatred, fear and all the evil he encountered and made them his own and changed them for us. He has turned suffering into something that redeems and can lead to healing. We can find joy in our suffering and take comfort in knowing that Christ is with us in our suffering.

“By having taken the weakness of our nature, he has made it our strength. Now, if we set out to bear one another’s burdens, we know that however heavy they are, however hard to us, Christ has already bore them, and bears them now with us.”  ~ Caryll Houselander

He sent his Son into the world and he remains with us until the end of time. God loves the world, he loves mankind who he created in his image. He continually draws us to himself and desires for us to prefer the light of truth over the darkness of sin. But we must choose to live in his light. His hand is in everything and his love is never ending.

“He took our sin, he bore our shame, he rose to life, he defeated the grave. A love like this the world has never known.” Lyrics from Jesus, Son of God by Chris Tomlin

A Servant’s Heart

 "You called me ‘teacher’ and ‘master’ and rightly so, for indeed I am. If I, therefore, the master and teacher, have washed your feet, you ought to wash one another’s feet. I have given you a new model to follow, so that as I have done for you, you should also do.”  (John 13:13-15)

Can you imagine all that must have been going on in the heart of Jesus and the disciples? Jesus, knowing that he would soon be enduring the suffering of his Passion, spends time with his disciples and passing on his teachings. And he doesn’t just tell them what they need to do, he shows them. He shows no partiality, he washes the feet of Judas the Iscariot knowing that he would betray him with a kiss. He washes the feet of Peter even when Peter is adamant that Jesus will not wash his feet. Jesus washes Peter’s feet knowing that he will soon deny him not once, but three times. He does this knowing that the disciples will abandon him during his time of need.

So many questions must have been running through the minds of the disciples. Jesus has been talking about leaving them, how he must suffer and die. During the Passover meal he is doing all these things that are foreign to them. First he washes their feet, then he tells them this is my body, this is my blood, do this in remembrance of me. What does all of this mean? After washing their feet he asks the disciples, “Do you realize what I have done for you?” Of course they could not comprehend what Jesus had done for them. There is always some mystery, a depth to what God is doing in our lives that we cannot understand. But if we take time to reflect on our day and see what God has done for us we may get a glimpse of his love for us. It is during these times of reflection that we understand what it means to have a servant’s heart and how we are to do for others what Christ has done for us. 

No Room Among You

“’If you remain in my word, you will truly be my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.’ They answered him, ‘We are descendants of Abraham and have never been enslaved to anyone. How can you say ‘You will become free?’ Jesus answered them, ‘Amen, amen, I say to you, everyone who commits sin is a slave of sin. I know that you are descendents of Abraham. But you are trying to kill me because my word has no room among you.’”  (John 8:31-34, 37)

How often are we like the Jews in today’s gospel? We allow our pride and self-righteous attitude to blind us to the truth. We close ourselves off from God, allowing no room for His Word in our lives. Many years ago I had a friend who I really enjoyed being around. Another friend and mentor tried to warn me about this person and tried to make me see that nothing good could come out of this relationship because he knew this person much better than I did and had witnessed him wounding many others. But I wouldn’t listen. I knew that our friendship was different and that there was nothing wrong with it. I refused to allow room for the truth. My friend and mentor was trying to protect me out of love but I foolishly thought he was wrong and maybe even a little jealous. How foolish I was.

Jesus was crucified because of the hardness of their hearts. They didn’t want someone to tell them what to do; to point out the errors of their ways. They didn’t want to be reminded of their own sinfulness. They wanted to keep on condemning those around them. “If God were your Father, you would love me, for I came from God and am here; I did not come on my own but he sent me.” (John 8:42) The Jews preached that God was their Father but it was all lip service, their actions revealed what was in their hearts. In order to be disciples we have to be willing to put aside our own agenda and surrender to the will of God.

Because of sin, man has “lost its capacity to find and follow freely without effort, the light of truth. Instead, he has to walk haltingly, groping for light as in the dark, faced with a thousand and one possibilities of falling into error.” ~ Fr. M. M. Philipon, O.P.  It takes a conscious effort on our part to follow in the Lord’s steps and walk in his truth and there is no way we can do it on our own. We need to make room for God in our lives so that he can lead us to the Truth and truly set us free.  

His Mercy

“’Teacher, this woman was caught in the very act of committing adultery. Now in the law, Moses commanded us to stone such women, so what do you say?’ They said this to test him, so that they could have some charge to bring against him. Jesus bent down and began to write on the ground with his finger. But when they continued asking him, he straightened up and said to them, ‘Let the one among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.’ Again he bent down and wrote on the ground. And in response, they went away one by one, beginning with the elders. So he was left alone with the woman before him. Then Jesus straightened up and said to her, ‘Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?’ She replied, ‘No one, sir.’ Then Jesus said, ‘Neither do I condemn you. Go, and from now on do not sin anymore.’”  (John 8:4-9)

The Law of Moses. In the Old Testament we often see God portrayed as vengeful, striking down those who sin against him. We see a focus on the Law and those self-righteous men who see themselves as better than others. But we know that it is not about just following the rules, we have to have a conversion in our hearts. In yesterday’s first reading we heard Jeremiah speak about the injustices done to him and he asks God, “Let me witness the vengeance you take on them.” (Jeremiah 11:20) How often do we feel the same? We want to witness our enemy having the tables turned and witness them being subjected to the same hurt that they inflicted on us or maybe even worse. We have that mentality of an eye for an eye. But this is no longer the way to deal with hurt. In today’s first reading we hear, “Remember not the events of the past, the things of long ago consider not; see I am doing something new!” (Isaiah 43:18-19)

God is loving and merciful and he calls us to be the same. So often we point out the small faults of others, their splinter, while we refuse to look at our own faults, the beam in our own eye.  During his homily last night the priest gave us a beautiful image of the scribes and Pharisees in today’s gospel. They are like lepers who cover their sores with the silk of righteousness while they cast stones at others. We need to look at our own hearts and ask for God’s healing. We need to acknowledge our own sinfulness and ask for God’s mercy. And as we journey together, we need to help one another by showing the same mercy that God shows to us each and every day, to one another. In today’s gospel, Jesus allowed the adulterous woman “to rediscover her own self in the silent love with which he enveloped her, he delivered her from the judgment of her accusers, scattering them with the voice of their own conscience.”  ~Fr. Maurice Zundel

Habemus Papam!!

Today was a glorious day! Our next Vicar of Christ was revealed to the world. The emptiness that has been a part of me since Pope Benedict XVI announced his resignation was filled with joy and hope at the announcement that we have a new pope. That emptiness was made more tangible at each Mass with the void during the Eucharist Prayer when the name of our Shepherd was to be mentioned. I can’t wait for Mass tomorrow morning and to hear, “Remember, Lord, your Church throughout the world, and bring Her to the fullness of charity with Francis our Pope…”

We have a Pope! There was so much excitement in the crowd when the white smoke began to billow out from the Sistine Chapel chimney and the bells in St. Peter’s Basilica began to ring. Flags from many countries were being waved and there were so many young people, seminarians and religious in the crowd. The crowd grew larger and larger as the people of Rome poured out of their homes, filling the streets and St. Peter’s square.

A time for new beginnings! With the election of Cardinal Jorge Bergoglio of Argentina as our new pope, there are many firsts. He is our first non-European pope, our first Latin American pope, our first pope from Argentina, our first Jesuit pope and our first Pope Francis. So much of the secular world spoke about how the Catholic Church needs a pope that will revolutionize the church and bring Her into the 21^st century. But those of us who understand that the Truth does not change no matter how much the world changes knew that would not be the case; at least not according to their definition of a revolution. What the Church needs and what the Holy Spirit gave us was a man who is firmly grounded in the Truth. A man who lives out the gospel each and every day. A man who isn’t afraid to slay the demons of our world. Just as Christ did, Pope Francis isn’t afraid to name the demon what it truly is and then drive it out. The Church will always guard the sanctity of life from the moment of conception to the moment of natural death. It will always protect the sanctity of marriage between a woman and a man and the sacredness of the family. The Church needs a humble, holy man of God to lead us, and we have been given that today. A humble man who stopped to pray before the Blessed Sacrament before being presented to the world, and who prayed for Pope Emeritus Benedict and asked the people to pray for him as he begins this journey. Pope Francis is God’s gift to His church and to that we say, AMEN!

“I cannot do anything on my own; I judge as I hear, and my judgment is just because I do not seek my own will but the will of the one who sent me.” (John 5:30) 

Choosing to be Well

“Now there is in Jerusalem at the Sheep Gate a pool called in Hebrew Bethesda, with five porticoes. In these lay a large number of ill, blind, lame, and crippled. One man was there who had been ill for thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him lying there and knew that he had been ill for a long time, he said to him, ‘Do you want to be well?’ The sick man answered him, ‘Sir, I have no one to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up; while I am on my way, someone else gets down there before me.’ Jesus said to him, ‘Rise, take up your mat, and walk.’ Immediately the man became well, took up his mat, and walked.” (John 5:2-9) 

This is one of my favorite gospel stories. There are so many beautiful things about it and for me, personally, it had a profound impact on my life. On my faith journey I have come to know the Lord and I believe in his love and mercy but for a long time I struggled with believing that he loved me intimately and that he would have died on the cross even if I was the only one here on earth that needed to be redeemed. In 2009, I had been seeing a counselor for a couple of years, had been through Christ Renews His Parish (CRHP) and had a Spiritual Director but there was something deep down that prevented me from believing that God loved, me. I have a friend who taught me to pray the gospels and I have had some beautiful moments where God revealed his Truth to me through this kind of prayer experience. So as I began to pray this gospel I was open to what God wanted to reveal to me. Whenever I heard this gospel before, I pictured the man as someone very old and crippled with arthritis. But as I meditated on it I began to see that I was the person at the portico who had been ill for thirty-eight years. I asked God what that meant and he took me back to something I experienced as a child. I was seven years old and heard these words screamed at me, “I hate you and wish you had never been born.” Those words had crippled me for thirty-eight years. That incident was the root of my lack of self-worth, my feelings of always being on the outside looking in, and my belief that I wasn’t lovable, even by God. And at that moment Jesus was asking me, “Do you want to be well?”

It is our choice. We all have wounds to be healed whether they are caused by others or self inflicted. Healing isn’t just a onetime thing. It will continue to occur throughout our lives. Each time we sin we wound our souls and God is constantly calling us back to him. Sometimes we nurse our wounds, we keeping playing over and over in our minds the hurt that was done to us but this only hurts ourselves and keeps us from living as we were created to live, in the Light of Christ. My healing wasn’t instantaneous like this man in the gospel but getting to the root of this wound did allow me to have a better understanding of why I struggled with those things and allowed me to be more open to God’s love. Today I am confident in God's love for me and I know he desires each of us to be whole so I continue to pray for the courage to lay it all before him so that he can continue the healing process. 

Accepting Our Suffering

As I have been praying the Stations of the Cross these past couple of weeks one of the prayers that really causes me to pause is the one for the second station, Jesus Accepts His Cross. I use “The Way of the Cross” composed by St. Alphonsus Liguori and the words are, “My most beloved Jesus, I embrace all the sufferings You have destined for me until death. I beg You, by all You suffered in carrying Your cross, to help me carry mine with Your perfect peace and resignation.”  

Is this something that I really want to pray for? When I hear about people dying in a fire after being badly burned I have prayed that I won’t have to endure such a terrible death. I have prayed for a peaceful death, that I would just die in my sleep.  It would make it easier on me and my loved ones knowing that I did not suffer. Working with my families at the hospital, this is the number one concern. If the child is old enough, they often ask if it is going to hurt when they die. They want to know how they are going to die. Are the tumors in their lungs going to keep growing until they can’t breathe anymore? Will they suffocate? And the parents and family members also ask if their child is going to suffer. They want us to do everything in our power to make sure they are not in pain. And while this is always our goal, it is not always possible to make their death pain-free and peaceful.

Over the years I have witnessed many, many children go through the dying process and have been privileged to be at the bedside of several of them as they pass from this life to eternal life. I have learned from these children how to endure suffering and to remain hopeful through the most difficult moments in life. They have shown me how to be united with Christ in his suffering, and while they may not understand why they have to go through this, they know that God is with them. Witnessing their unwavering trust in our Lord has given me the courage to begin to pray this prayer with sincerity. That I may embrace all the suffering that God has destined for me until death. A patient died on Tuesday who endured great suffering throughout the 10 years since his diagnosis of cancer and especially over these last 6 months. Those of us around him often wondered why he had to suffer so much but this young man embraced every moment of his life. He took his suffering in stride and knew with such conviction that he would soon be with his King.

“The Redeemer suffered in place of man and for man. Every man has his own share in the Redemption. Each one is also called to share in that suffering through which the Redemption was accomplished. He is called to share in that suffering through which all human suffering has also been redeemed. In bringing about the Redemption through suffering, Christ has also raised human suffering to the level of the Redemption. Thus each man, in his suffering, can also become a sharer in the redemptive suffering of Christ”.  Blessed John Paul II, from his Apostolic Letter, Salvifici Doloris

Apostolic Succession

"He said to them, ‘But who do you say that I am?’ Simon Peter said in reply, ‘You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.’ Jesus said to him in reply, ‘Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah. For flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but my heavenly Father. And so I say to you, you are Peter, and upon this rock I will build my Church, and the gates of the netherworld shall not prevail against it. I will give you the keys to the Kingdom of heaven. Whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven; whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.” (Matthew 16: 15-19)

Today we celebrate the Feast of the Chair of St. Peter the Apostle. This feast commemorates the teaching authority of the Vicar of Christ. Pope Benedict XIV tells us, “Celebrating the ‘Chair’ of Peter means attributing a strong spiritual significance to it and recognizing it as a privileged sign of the love of God.” From the very beginning Christ knew that he would only be here on earth for a short time and would need a successor to continue on the good works which he began. Peter knew who Jesus was because he opened his heart to the Father and God reveled this to him. His was a true conversion but it didn’t happen overnight. During the time that Peter was with Jesus he grew in his faith. We see several examples of this in the gospels. When Jesus approached them walking on the water, Peter says to him, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.”  Jesus does this and Peter begins to walk on the water but then gets frightened and begins to sink. He cries out, “Lord, save me!” And immediately Jesus stretched out his hand and saved him. Later during the Passion of Christ we see that Peter denies Jesus not once but three times. Through the mercy of God he is forgiven and comes to know the love of the Father. On our own journey we grow in faith. We may learn a lot about Jesus and the Church’s teachings but at some point we have to make the profession with our hearts not just our lips. In Luke’s gospel Jesus tells Peter, “I have prayed that your faith may not fail, and once you have turned back, strengthen your brother.” (Luke 22:32) Jesus prayed for Peter and he prays for us too. He prays that we, too, turn to him for all that we need.

Our Church, the Catholic Church, will endure because it was founded by Christ and the first pope was chosen by Christ himself. It brings me great comfort to know that this succession has never been broken. With the resignation of Pope Benedict XVI there is a lot of speculation that someone new is going to come in and bring the Church into the 21^st century. But the Church was founded on Truth which is unchangeable. The priesthood was instituted by Christ at the Last Supper and the Apostolic Succession was instituted by Christ when he spoke those words to Peter. “And so I say to you, you are Peter, and upon this rock I will build my Church, and the gates of the netherworld shall not prevail against it. I will give you the keys to the Kingdom of heaven. Whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven; whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.”  In this promise of Jesus to Peter, the infallibility of the pope is preserved and papal infallibility is one of the channels of the infallibility of the Church. And so the Holy Spirit will guide the cardinals when they gather together to choose our next pope, our next Apostolic successor.