Teach Us to Pray

“Jesus said to his disciples: ‘In praying, do not babble like the pagans, who think that they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them. Your Father knows what you need before you ask him. This is how you are to pray.’”  (Matthew 6:7-9)

Jesus gives us the Our Father as a gift to us. This seemingly simple prayer that we pray often and is one of the first prayers that we learn as a child is so rich with wisdom and is all that we need to know. The pagans babble on and on, thinking that their many words are going to give them an edge over the rest of the people. It reminds me of people who talk just to talk and their words have no depth. They can’t stand silence.

Jesus wants us to know his Father, our Father, in the same intimate way that he knows him. Jesus prays that our Father will keep us in his name so that we may be one just as he and the Father are one. (John 17:11) In order to do this we must place our existence into the Father’s hand. If we desire that His will be done then we must place our trust in him and believe that no matter what trials we face, it is all for his glory and that he is bestowing grace upon us even when we can’t feel his presence. When we pray for the Father to give us this day, and this day only, our daily bread we have to let go of our anxiety for the future and receive the gift of this day because each day is truly a gift. And for me the hardest part of this prayer is, forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. Is this really what I want to pray for? I have a hard time forgiving those who have hurt me. God casts our sins as far as the east is from the west and I need to learn to do the same thing. I need to cast off the sins of others and not let them continue to press in on me or be wrapped around me; I have grown comfortable with them. I keep them as a reminder of why I shouldn’t forgive that person. “Look what they did to me!” I don’t want to hear those same words from our Father because the wrong I have done to Him far exceeds any hurts that have been done to me.

Heavenly Father, forgive me for my many sins and give me a heart of love so that I may forgive others as you have forgiven me; with no strings attached, no reminders of past hurts and no limits. Amen.

Temptations

Today’s gospel is about the Temptation of Jesus. Early on in my faith journey I didn’t grasp that Jesus was completely human as well as divine. I didn’t truly believe that he understood the struggles against temptations because he was Jesus. But as I have grown in my faith I realize that Jesus was fully human as well as divine. While he was here on earth he felt all the things that we as human beings feel. I now have a better understanding of today’s gospel. Jesus fasted in the desert for 40 days and nights. He was hungry, exhausted, and lonely and Satan took that opportunity to tempt him. Each time that Satan tested him, Jesus’ response is one taken from Scripture. “One does not live on bread alone, but by every word that comes forth from the mouth of God.” (Matthew 4:4) “You shall not put the Lord, your God, to the test.” (Matthew 4:7) “The Lord, your God, shall you worship and him alone shall you serve.” (Matthew 4:10) These words were the same words spoken to the Israelites when they were in the desert. They were reminded of what the Lord had done for them and how they were to obey Him when they reach the land that he swore to their fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.

Jesus was able to resist these temptations because he had spent time in prayer, he was ready for battle. We too must prepare ourselves for battle. We need to pray, we need to block out the noise in our life. We need to stop talking to ourselves so that we can hear the words of our Father. One of the ways in which the devil tempts me is in regard to my work. When we experience a lot of deaths, relapses or new diagnoses I tend to feel overwhelmed. I start second guessing myself, questioning if I am able to continue doing this. I try to rely on myself to get through these difficult times. I begin to fall into despair which is right where the devil wants me to be, believing that it is hopeless. Instead, I need to be quiet and be still, and allow the Lord to renew my spirit. I need to do what Jesus did, he allowed the angels to come and minister to him.

He Desires Mercy

For the last two days Isaiah has been telling the Israelites what is expected of them. In yesterday’s reading he gives them a whole new description of fasting. The Lord, God doesn’t find their day of penance acceptable. The fact that they walk around with their head bowed and lie in sackcloth and ashes is meaningless if they continue with their own pursuits and treats others unfairly. In both readings, he describes what is acceptable to the Lord. They are to release those bound unjustly, set free the oppressed, feed the hungry, care for the afflicted and remove false accusations and malicious speech from their midst. These are very similar to what Jesus told his disciples when he spoke about the judgment of the nations when the Son of Man returns in glory. For those who feed the hungry, give drink to the thirsty, welcome a stranger, clothe the naked, care for the sick and visit those in prison they will inherit the kingdom prepared for them by our heavenly Father. (Matthew 25:34-36)

“I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked man, but rather in the wicked man’s conversion, that he may live” (Ezekiel 33:11) God’s desire is for each one of us to turn from sin and follow in his ways. The mercy that he shows to each one of us is the mercy that we must then show toward others. It is easy for me to show mercy to the sick because this is my vocation; God has called me to care for his little ones. But I have a much harder time being merciful to those that don’t fit the “mold” that I think they should fit in. It is hard for me not to get caught up in the gossip about someone who has hurt me. It is hard for me to be merciful to those that I think should “know better” yet do it anyway, whatever the “it” may be. I know that God takes pleasure when we admit our guilt and ask for forgiveness and he expects that same thing from me. When someone says they are sorry, I am to forgive and forget. Not continually allow it to come to the front of my mind when I get upset with them.

Oh Jesus, friend of sinners, open our eyes to the world at our pointing fingers. Let our heart be led by mercy, help us reach with open hearts and open doors.  Oh Jesus, friend of sinners, break our hearts for what breaks yours.  ~ “Jesus, Friend of Sinners” by Casting Crowns

Ambassadors for Christ

“Brothers and sisters: we are ambassadors for Christ, as if God were appealing through us.”  (2 Corinthians 5:20)

As I was meditating on today’s readings, God reminded me that I am a vessel that he is using to bring others to Christ. I am his ambassador and my actions will either draw others to Christ or turn them away. If I claim to be a Christian yet others hear me gossiping, being short with others, or demanding things are done my way, then I am showing Christ in a negative light. Going to daily Mass and spending time in prayer is in vain if the minute I walk out the door of the chapel I step back into my selfish little world, judging others. At times I don’t even wait until I am out the door. The other day I was being judgmental in my thoughts because the deacon mispronounced the names in the Old Testament reading. I was having sinful thoughts during Mass!

As Lent begins today, the gospel reminds us to, “take care not to perform righteous deeds in order that people may see them; otherwise, you will have no recompense from your heavenly Father.”  (Matthew 6:1) We are not to fast, pray or give alms in a way that others will see in hope of receiving their praise or recognition.  We are to do all these things in secret. The Lord knows what is in our hearts. He is aware of our vanity and selfishness; the very things that we are trying to free ourselves of especially during this Lenten season. In order to be ambassadors for Christ we need to completely conquer self-love which involves a constant struggle against self. The asceticism of Lent is to learn self-mastery of those things that bind us. Not suffering for the sake of suffering but in order to have mastery over those things so we can offer our self to God.  ~ Fr. Stephen Sanchez, O.C.D.

Be Still

Be still. I kept hearing these words this weekend. “Be still and know that I am God.”  (Psalm 46:11) I have a lot going on in my life right now and on top of that I was sick this weekend. Being sick forced me to slow down and I found myself struggling with that. When I am still, my temptations grow stronger and I want to do something to fight against them but I found God telling me to be still and allow Him to drive these temptations out of my head and my heart. I know it is only by His grace that I am ever able to win this battle but I have always felt that I need to fight and call upon the Holy Spirit to help me out. But God was telling me to let go and allow Him to do all of the fighting. He wanted me to give it all over to Him and I found this so difficult to do. It is so hard for me to let go of control. I feel like if I let go then things will start caving in. But the truth is that I am not in control anyway. I am just fooling myself when I believe that I can control the events in my life. Letting go puts me in a situation that scares me but it allows God to come through and show His love for me.

 I know that He has conquered all sin. The power of His resurrection crushes the chains that bind us. Christ’s resurrection sets us free. Before Mass I went into the chapel before the tabernacle and just knelt down. It was hard at first to do nothing but after a few minutes I was able to just be present before the Lord. I was able to take in all the beauty and love present in the chapel. Fr. Jason once told me that in those moments God is kissing me. So I sat and allowed the love of my life to shower me with kisses. 

The Hard Truth

“He began to teach them that the Son of Man must suffer greatly and be rejected by the elders, the chief priests, and the scribes, and be killed, and rise after three days. He spoke this openly. Then Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. At this he turned around and, looking at his disciples, rebuked Peter and said, ‘Get behind me, Satan. You are thinking not as God does, but as human beings do.’” (Mark 8: 31-33)

Jesus spoke openly about what was going to happen to him. And just as it was for Peter, the truth is sometimes hard to hear. Peter knew that Jesus was the Christ. He was the Messiah that they had been waiting for yet Jesus was talking about how he was going to suffer greatly and be killed. The elders, chief priests, and scribes were going to turn on him and kill him. This was too much for Peter to hear so he goes to Jesus and rebukes him. Jesus was their Savior. A savior is meant to bring salvation to his people; to save them from danger or destruction. Why would their Savior talk about being killed? This didn’t make sense to Peter. Jesus’ words are so harsh, Get behind me, Satan, he says to Peter. He calls him Satan! Peter was thinking like a human being because that is what he was. The whole concept of their Messiah being a Suffering Servant instead of a valiant warrior was beyond their comprehension, so much so that Peter didn’t even hear the good news about Jesus’ teaching; He would rise on the third day!

I know the truth is hard for me to hear especially when it has to do with someone I love hurting and even more difficult if I am the one who has caused the hurt. I am thankful for the dear friends that God has placed in my life that help me stay grounded in the truth. My dear friend, Diana, has walked with me on my journey for 8 years now. The hard truths that I have had to face over the years have been easier with her at my side. She never lets me avoid the truth but she always helps me face it with her gentle spirit and compassion. She always invites God to be present when we are together and with God in our midst there is nothing that we can’t handle. We have the hope of the Resurrection, something that Peter wasn’t aware was going to happen and because of this we should never despair.

True Love

I was on a retreat all weekend and missed being able to post my meditations. It was a retreat for the RCIA candidates from my parish. I am sponsoring someone this year and it has been a great experience. The focus of the retreat was on knowing God. There were talks on how to know, love and serve God. There was a talk on God’s love for us and we were reminded that no matter how sinful or stubborn we are we cannot alter God’s love for us. In order for us to have a conversion of heart, we have to believe that God loves us this much otherwise what would be the point? If we felt that there was a point at which God would turn his back on us or retract his covenant with us why would we put our trust in Him?

Yesterday’s Psalm really touched my heart. “Before I was afflicted I went astray but now I hold to your promise.” (Psalm 119:67) So often we take things for granted, we get lazy and too comfortable with our life when things are going well. We may spend less time in prayer, less time reading scripture, less time discerning God’s will for us. But then trouble strikes and we have lost our footing and we begin to cling to the only thing steady and true in our lives, our Lord.

Yesterday my thoughts went the other direction, though. I thought about how we tend to stick around when things are good but leave when we have been afflicted. But true love is remaining faithful even when we have been hurt or betrayed. Sometimes it seems too hard to forgive those that have inflicted deep wounds and all trust in them is gone. You fear even being in their presence because you are afraid they may hurt the small part of you that wasn’t destroyed by them already. And you are certain if that happens, you will never recover. But we are called to live as Christ lived; to forgive one another. We are called to remain faithful in our covenantal relationships such as marriage and family. It is hard for me to say, I am sorry. My pride gets in the way. Yet, as a wife and mother, I must learn to do this. How will my sons learn to humble themselves and seek forgiveness when they have failed another if they never witness this in our home?

On the retreat, the priest mentioned that the commitment of love is a marathon of the heart. It takes work, endurance, and suffering. We must resist the temptation to drop out. We need to stay the course for it is in trying that we become holy. Our love for Him comes out of His love for us. God loves each of us individually, personally and intimately. Our love will never be the perfect love that He has for us but in our faithfulness and obedience we perpetually move toward Christ.