Deafening Silence

 Lord, I am struggling to be at peace in your silence. Is your silence a cross I am to bear right now? And if so, why do I keep praying to feel you? Or to hear you speak to me? If this is where you want me to be, do I need to quit searching for you? Your silence is deafening! I feel so lost and alone. I long for your comfort. I wish I could curl up in your lap and rest my head upon your chest while you hold me in your embrace. I have tried to be at peace in your silence but I am really struggling. I’ve been spending quiet time in front of the Blessed Mother every day, time in Adoration with the Blessed Sacrament and attending daily Mass but I feel no peace.

Lord, help me to trust that your silence is a gift of grace that reminds me of your reality. Your silence is so painful because I desperately need you in my life. Your silence is a reminder that I long for you, that I hunger for you and I thirst for you! May your silence be the impetus that drives me closer toward you and not away from you. Give me the courage to enter into this mystery and be at peace instead of allowing it to overwhelm me.

“Divine silence is not a vacuum to be filled but a mystery to be entered into. Unarmed with words and undistracted by noise, a holy of holies, in which we too may be struck dumb by the power of the unsayable God.” ~ Barbara Brown Taylor