My Refuge

“Only in God be at rest, my soul, for from him comes my hope. He only is my rock and my salvation, my stronghold; I shall not be disturbed. Trust in him at all times, O my people! Pour out your heart before him; God is our refuge!” (Psalm 62:2-3, 9)

There are times that I seek to find peace in others, or in situations that I know have brought me comfort in the past. And while I know we are here on this earth for one another, it is only in God that our soul is able to rest. A couple of weeks ago I was feeling anxious and struggling with a few things so I called my counselor to see if she could see me. We meet very infrequently now, and I just call her on an as needed basis. But as soon as I made the appointment I could physically feel my anxiety decrease. When I arrived for my appointment I found out that she double-booked for that hour and would have to reschedule. Immediately my anxiety increased and I wondered how I was going to get through the next few days. She apologized and I told her that God must know that I can handle what I am going through. How easy it was for me to say that, but to believe it in my heart was something I needed to take to our Lord in prayer. So I went to the Adoration chapel and prayed for an increase in my faith. I prayed that God would pour out his grace on me so that I would seek to find peace only in Him. I know that God loves me for who I am and where I am at on my journey but when I reflect on the times that I struggle; I see myself trying to do things on my own. I feel that God has other things to deal with than my anxiety, so I try to find peace in the things that have helped me in the past. The image I have of God is him shaking his head at me, wondering when I am going to get it. When am I going to realize that he wants all of me? He wants all of my fears and anxieties, all of my joys and sorrows, all of my successes and failures. He will refresh my soul and bring me peace if I would just let him and not decide what I think is or isn’t worth his time.