These words are from today’s meditation in Magnificat. During this Lenten season I have found myself seeking out more time alone with our Lord. After daily Mass I spend a few minutes in one of the alcoves at St. Monica’s before our Blessed Mother. At work I spend my breaks in the chapel in silence. I’ve been doing the Stations of the Cross almost every day. Each time I have done them I have been alone. You’d think with how big St. Ann’s is that I would run into others but I have always had the courtyard to myself. Even last night the chapel was empty. I am so thankful for these times alone with Christ reflecting on his Passion. It has helped me through my struggles and rather than feeling alone I feel his presence all around me.
There is “no silence where his voice is not heard deepening, rather than troubling, that silence.” Sometimes I feel that his silence is troubling instead of deepening his presence. I cry out but there is only a deafening silence. I beg for him to make himself present to me. After my tears are shed and I feel spent. After I am through struggling, I feel his peace enveloping me. Why do I continue to struggle against him? Why do I make things more difficult instead of trusting in him completely?
Heavenly Father, thank you for your patience with me. For standing beside me while I battle with myself and my demons and then for pouring out your love upon me and healing my wounds. Deepen my love for you and my trust in your infinite wisdom, your perfect plan. Amen.
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