Measuring Stick

When meditating on today’s gospel I was reflecting on where I fit into Jesus’ parable. I want to be the tax collector, coming before the Lord in perfect humility. Knowing that I have greatly sinned against God and others. Admitting my sin and even though I am unworthy, begging God to be merciful because I trust in his goodness. There are many times, though, that I am more like the Pharisee. As humans we like measuring sticks. Just like the Pharisee, we think we are better than others because we don’t commit adultery or lie. We follow the rules, we go to Mass every Sunday, we tithe and even throw in extra money when there is a second collection, and we abstain from meat on Fridays.

But for Christ there are no measuring sticks. During this Lenten season we are reminded that there is no limit to the number of times we are to forgive. We aren’t called to just love our neighbor but to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us. The Lord wants all of us. He wants us to quit keeping a tally of the good things we have done and the wrongs that have been committed against us. This week has been very hard and I keep asking God, “why”? I look back over what has happened and make note of the things I have done and the things he did (especially to me). I wonder how I am going to get through this and why I am the one who has to walk away. But God has reminded me that I am not doing this alone. He wants me to let go of all of it because I will never make sense of it. People who think they have no reason to be forgiven are also the most unforgiving people. They are full of pride and don’t care that they wound others. There is nothing I can do to change that stony heart. Only God can do that and only when the person is ready to be like the tax collector in today’s gospel and humbly go before God with a contrite heart.

Jesus withheld nothing from his Father and he withholds nothing from us. He gives his very self, without limit and without end. He asks us to do the same. He wants me to drop everything I am holding onto, most especially the pain, and to fall into his love. His perfect plan is far beyond anything I can imagine.