The Force of Habit

There was a beautiful meditation by Blessed John Henry Newman in Magnificat on Tuesday. He writes that “we must consider the force of habit.”  He was speaking specifically about our habit of sin. He says that our “conscience at first warns us against sin; but if we disregard it, it soon ceases to upbraid us; and thus sins, once known, in time become secret sins.” We get comfortable in our sins. What once may have brought about remorse, now is seen with indifference. When we see others committing the same sin we may become judgmental or self-righteous. We justify our sins, we downplay the effect they have on ourselves and others, but we condemn others. In his meditation he goes on to say, “it is not the less a sin because we do not feel it to be such. Habit has made it a secret sin. To think of these things, and to be alarmed, is the first step towards acceptable obedience; to be at ease, is to be unsafe.”

Several months ago I went to Shepherd’s Café and went to confession with a priest other than my regular confessor at the time. I confessed my sin that I had gotten comfortable with, that had become a habit. This priest challenged me and it alarmed me. The reality of my sin was brought into the light. A part of me wanted to protest and tell him he didn’t understand, but a part of me was glad that God had placed this priest in my life at that moment. I spoke with my regular confessor about it. He knows my history, he knows how this came to be and that it had become a habit that I often struggled with. He said that we are all culpable for our sins and that I need to continue fighting this temptation and to call upon the Holy Spirit to give me the strength necessary to overcome this sin and all my sins.

One thing necessary in overcoming our sins, especially those that we have grown comfortable with is to ask God to help us look deeper as to what the cause may be. Figuring out the cause of our sin and dealing with that may be exactly what we need to overcome our sin once and for all. When we avoid going to confession for long periods of time the same thing happens, we become numb to our sins. We get used to the darkness. It is in these times that I have to shake off the indifference and humbly go before the Lord and receive the graces that are bestowed on us in the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

Lord, Jesus, help me to not be indifferent to the hurt that my sins cause me and others; to not be indifferent to the strain that they place on my relationship with you and others. Give me your eyes to look upon my sins with truth so that with your grace I can overcome them. Amen.