It is not always easy for me to know the will of our Father. In the verses just prior to this one that we heard in today’s gospel of Matthew, Jesus warns us to be aware of false prophets who come in sheep’s clothing, but underneath are ravenous wolves. Sometimes things appear to be good but are really not and it is these things that sometimes make it difficult to discern His will for me. Sometimes I think that my gut reaction is what I should go with and even tell myself that it is the Holy Spirit prompting me. But sometimes my gut reaction isn’t the right thing to do. Because I lived in fear for so long, some things cause me to revert back to my old ways and I am afraid of things that can no longer harm me. Fear rises up in me and I become very anxious. But I am learning to remain present in the moment and not revert back to my childhood, and instead remain calm. I am learning to trust that God is present and will protect me and I no longer need to fear that person or that situation.
I am dealing with a particular situation now. When I first learned about it, my reaction was one of fear and I was ready to flee, thinking this is what God wanted me to do. But as I have prayed about it and discussed it with Fr. Jason, I have come to realize that fleeing is not what God wants for me. He wants me to stay put and trust that I will be fine. This person no longer has the ability to crush my spirit and if I place this situation in God’s hands then all will be well. God is obviously in control of the situation and what he wants of me is bearable and will help me to see that I am strong. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13)
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