Take Refuge in God

“She hears no voice, accepts no correction; In the LORD she has not trusted, to her God she has not drawn near” (Zephaniah 3: 2)

As I reflected on the readings for today, I kept going back to these words and felt like they were speaking my story. I was in the dark for so much of my life because of the fear that I lived in. Not only did I not trust others, I also didn’t trust the Lord. I was afraid that if I let him into my heart he would abandon me. I am sorry that it wasn’t until I was 40 years old that I began to draw near to Him; that it took me so long to see his goodness and to know that he would never betray me or abandon me. But the Lord takes us where we are at and helps us become the person he created us to be in his image.

“You need not be ashamed of all your deeds, your rebellious actions against me” (Zephaniah 3: 11)

I am so thankful for his mercy. I allowed my shame to prevent me from receiving the graces of the Sacrament of Reconciliation. I stayed away from it for 25 years and even when I began receiving the sacrament again, it still took me a long time to feel sorrow instead of shame for my sins. A friend taught me there is a big difference. I was also rebellious and would not accept correction. I thought my situation was the exception to the rule and that I shouldn’t be held up to the same standard. There are times that I still rebel but they are few and far between. I know there are days when I am like the son in today’s gospel where I say “I will not” to what God is asking me to do but I usually come around. I put aside my pride and ask for the courage and strength to do His will. Fear continues to come between me and our Lord so I find myself praying for courage often.

“The LORD redeems loyal servants; no one is condemned whose refuge is God” (Psalm 34: 23)

There are so many beautiful words and treasures in today’s readings. The Lord loves us so much and he will never condemn those who take refuge in his love and mercy. Out of love for you, Lord, I want to follow your precepts and to be a faithful servant to my King.