Spiritual Peace

Today is the Memorial of St. John of the Cross. The meditation in Magnificat today was written by John of the Cross. Here are some excerpts from it.

“Since it (the soul) only knows how to act by means of the senses and discursive reflection, it thinks it is doing nothing when God introduces it into that emptiness and solitude where it is unable to use the faculties and make acts, and as a result it strains to perform these acts. It will happen that while God persists in keeping the soul in that silent quietude, it persists in its desire to act through its own efforts with the intellect and the imagination. It resembles a child who kicks and cries in order to walk when his mother wants to carry him, and thus neither allows his mother to make any headway nor makes any himself. A person should take note that even though he does not seem to be making any progress in this quietude or doing anything, he is advancing much faster than if he were treading along on foot, for God is carrying him. Although he is walking at God’s pace, he does not feel this pace. Even though he does no work with his faculties, he achieves much more than of he did, for God is the agent.”

~ Saint John of the Cross

When I visualize my struggles on my faith journey it is as John describes. I am like a child who kicks and cries in order to walk; to do things on my own and my own way; when my Lord wants to carry me and then neither of us makes any headway. Most of my kicking has been when God has tried to wrap me in his loving embrace and out of fear of his love I have resisted. I would rather be on my own than fear being hurt again. But I don’t make any progress on my faith journey because I can’t do it alone. I need the Lord, I can’t survive without him. And when I resist, I prevent God from making any headway too. He never forces us to do things his way.

I have to learn how to enjoy the “idleness of spiritual peace and silence” that God works through. I don’t always have to be doing in order to grow in my faith or to know our Lord. Our relationship will deepen only when I am able to be still and allow him to be God. Those times when I am able to completely surrender to our Lord he is able to move in me and through me. The peace that flows from the inward stillness is not only for me but for the world that longs for peace.