“The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD!” (Job 1:21)
Thirty-six years ago today my brother, Mitchell, was killed in a car accident. His friend lost control of the truck and when it crashed my brother was thrown from the truck. His neck was broken and he died, alone, in the middle of the night, on the side of a deserted highway. When I went downstairs for breakfast that morning, our neighbor was there. She told us that Mitchell had gone to heaven. I had no comprehension of what that meant, but got a glimpse when my parents got home. The grief in their heart was physically visible; I had never seen anyone look so sad. Back then there weren’t the resources that are available today for grieving families. The way my family dealt with it was by not talking about it at all. We were each in our own little world of grief. I think we were worried about making each other even sadder.
Mitchell had an identical twin, Mark. They had just graduated from high school and had their whole lives ahead of them, or so we thought. My grief was nothing compared to Mark’s. They were soul mates and a part of Mark died along with Mitchell that day. Mark left and joined the Navy. Slowly we began to heal and joy entered our lives again, until May 7, 1981 when my brother Kevin died. Kevin was killed in a motorcycle accident. It was near dusk and the sun was behind him, the man making a left turn out of the park did not see him. It happened so fast, there was nothing Kevin could do to stop it. He slammed headfirst into the wheel of the truck; even a helmet couldn’t protect him from the deadly blow. Our family was devastated! How could this be happening again?! We stumbled around in our grief for a very long time. This time I was the one graduating from high school, but I was terrified. Who was next to die in my family? I lost my best friend too; she didn’t know what to say to me so she said nothing at all.
With time, my family began to heal and see that God was with us through it all. Mark wasn’t supposed to return home on leave until later in the summer in 1981, but actually came back early and was able to spend some time with Kevin before he died. And 25 years ago today, Mark became a father. His daughter, Jayme, was born on this day. It was now a bittersweet day that has grown sweeter with time as we have watched Jayme grow into a beautiful young woman who is faith-filled and loving. No matter how difficult our trials or deep our sorrow, we must continue to believe that God is always with us.
“We know that all things work for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28)
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