“A kind mouth multiplies friends, and gracious lips prompt friendly greetings. Let your acquaintances be many, but one in a thousand your confidant. When you gain a friend, first test him, and be not too ready to trust him. For one sort of friend is a friend when it suits him, but he will not be with you in time of distress. Another is a friend who becomes an enemy, and tells of the quarrel to your shame. Another is a friend, a boon companion, who will not be with you when sorrow comes. When things go well, he is your other self, and lords it over your servants; But if you are brought low, he turns against you and avoids meeting you. Keep away from your enemies; be on your guard with your friends. A faithful friend is a sturdy shelter; he who finds one finds a treasure. A faithful friend is beyond price, no sum can balance his worth. A faithful friend is a life-saving remedy, such as he who fears God finds; for he who fears God behaves accordingly, and his friend will be like himself.” (Sirach 6:5-17)
This weekend has been bittersweet. Yesterday I drove with my best friend to her new home in Florida. The ride was very long, 17 hours in a car, with two dogs no less, but it provided us some special time before she settles into her new life. Jennifer and I met many years ago while working together at Children’s but our friendship really grew during graduate school. We are both passionate about caring for sick children and have an extra tender spot for those who have tough lives. I know it is because we can empathize with them.
The thing that really sealed our friendship though is our mutual love for our Lord. We both grew up in the Catholic faith and have a deep love for the traditions and teachings of the Church. Just as “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever” (Hebrews 13:8), so is the Catholic Church. The Church was founded by Jesus Christ so it will forever stand. We went to Mass this morning at her new parish and it brought me comfort knowing that my boys were hearing the same readings as we were as well as Catholics all around the world.
Jennifer and I had deep wounds and were determined to never let anyone get too close to us because we didn’t ever want to be hurt like that again. But just as we both have a tender spot for the children we care for that have been hurt emotionally, our Lord has an extra tender spot for his children who have been wounded by the sins of others. He has covered our wounds with his healing salve of love and all we have are the scar to remind us of his healing power. The LORD "heals the brokenhearted, binds up their wounds." (Psalm 147:3)
“When you gain a friend, first test him, and be not too ready to trust him.” We both took this scripture to heart and our friendship was a slow and steady deepening of love for one another. We began to trust each other and our faith grew deeper. We don’t wallow in self pity. We know that all of our trials have made us stronger and more grateful for the blessings He has bestowed on us. "A faithful friend is a life-saving remedy, such as he who fears God finds; for he who fears God behaves accordingly, and his friend will be like himself.” Our friendship has been life-saving for both of us. We would have battled through this life without one another because we are both determined and head-strong. But now we travel on this journey together, with a new outlook. Our eyes have been opened to the wonders of God’s love for us. We are learning to bask in His glory and truly believe in our hearts that we are daughters of the King and are made in His image and His likeness, we are wonderfully made!
On our drive we sang along with the Christian music on her CDs; her beautiful singing voice and my not so beautiful singing voice. She also had to listen to me sob when it hit me that she would be staying there and I would be heading back to Dallas today. We talked about our deepest struggles, the things that only our confessor knows. She helps me find that balance between shame and indifference toward my sins; reminding me of God’s mercy and His forgiveness that we receive through the Sacrament of Reconciliation. And also the grace we receive when we stand strong against temptation.
Things will change for us. I know our love for one another will always run deep and we will be there for each other any time of the day or night but it isn’t the same as having her present to give me a hug or to laugh together so hard that tears are running down my cheeks and my stomach hurts. “A faithful friend is beyond price, no sum can balance his worth.”
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