Letting Go

“At sunset, all who had people sick with various diseases brought them to him. He laid his hands on each of them and cured them. At daybreak, Jesus left and went to a deserted place. The crowds went looking for him, and when they came to him, they tried to prevent him from leaving them. But he said to them, ‘To the other towns also I must proclaim the good news of the Kingdom of God, because for this purpose I have been sent.’” (Luke 4:40, 42-43)

How hard it must have been for the people of Capernaum to let go of Jesus. He preached in their synagogue and they were astonished by his teachings. They reached out to him in faith, bringing to him their loved ones who were sick, and he cured each one of them. Why did he have to go so soon? Why did he have to go at all? They wanted to keep him for themselves.

Sometimes God places people in our lives only for a season and then we have to let them go. But this is so hard, especially for someone who has been abused. It is so hard to trust others. But every once in a while, God will bring someone into our lives that we are able to trust. They help us to see the love of Christ. They walk with us and offer their love and support. But they are meant to be with us only for a short time. Once we are on our way towards Him, it is time for them to move on and bring the Good News to others that are in need of His healing and love.  Even though I am on the right path, I feel so alone and afraid. I need my friend. I can’t do this alone. I pray that I can have my friend for just a little longer; just until I am a little stronger. But God gently tells me “No.” God wants me to trust in Him. He is the reason my friend was in my life. To be led to Him. The peace and love I felt when my friend was near was from God himself. So I continue on my journey being led by my Lord and Savior. 

Stay Alert

“For you yourselves know very well that the day of the Lord will come like a thief at night. When people are saying, ‘Peace and security,’  then sudden disaster comes upon them, like labor pains upon a pregnant woman, and they will not escape. But you brothers and sisters, are not in darkness, for that day to overtake you like a thief. For all of you are children of the light and children of the day. Therefore, let us not sleep as the rest do, but let us stay alert and sober.” (1 Thessalonians 5:2-6)

Today’s reading speaks about the coming of the Lord as a thief at night. Stating that it will come upon them as sudden disaster, like a woman’s labor pains. But those who are not in darkness will not be overtaken by that day. I think those who are “children of the light” are like a woman who is prepared for her labor. She knows that it must come in order for the great miracle of her child’s birth to happen. But the woman can prepare herself. She can take classes on how to work through the pain and not be overwhelmed. She learns how to stay focused and in control. Of course there are medications to help alleviate the pain; I am in total support of that. But knowledge and preparation go a long way in helping her be prepared for her labor.

We must do the same in our everyday lives. We must stay alert and sober. We need to be vigilant in our faith. We need to receive the sacraments frequently so that we can remain strong against the temptations of this world. If we choose to live in darkness, living only for ourselves, thinking that later we will get our act together, we are being foolish. We have no idea when our last day on earth will be and when it comes, that’s it. Do I want to be like the virgins who were foolish and unprepared? The bridegroom came and those who were prepared went into the wedding feast with him and then the doors were locked. When the foolish virgins came back they knocked on the door and said, “Lord, Lord, open the door for us!” But Jesus said to them, “Amen, I say to you, I do not know you.” (Matthew 25:11-12)

My Soul Thirsts for You

 “O God, you are my God, for you I long! For you my body yearns; for you my soul thirsts, like a land parched lifeless, and without water. So I look to you in the sanctuary to see your power and glory. For your love is better than life; my lips offer you worship.” (Psalm 63:2-4)

I love today’s Responsorial Psalm. “My soul is thirsting for you, O Lord my God.” There are times that I physically ache for God. I yearn for His presence. I know I am nothing without him. It is in my complete surrender; my poverty, that I acknowledge my own sinfulness and have a contrite heart. It is in these moments that I discover who God is. In my brokenness there is a breach through which something new can take place. God can create in me a clean heart and renew in me a steadfast spirit. (Psalm 51:12)

I seek you in the sanctuary, through the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. I lose myself in the music that offers praise to you. We become one in communion, confessing that we have sinned through our own fault; in our thoughts, and in our words; in what we have done and what we have failed to do. We ask for Mary, all the angels and saints and for one another to pray for us. (Penitential rite) Through our prayers we give you glory. We worship you, we give you thanks, we praise you for your glory. (Gloria) We see your power through the Holy Spirit as the bread and wine become the Body and Blood of your Son, our Lord, Jesus Christ. We admit that we are unworthy to receive you but, just as the centurion; we know that you need only say the words and we shall be healed. 

The Power of Prayer

Today is the Feast of St. Monica. While I don’t know much about her, I do know that she was a woman of prayer. Her fervent prayer played a part in the conversion of her pagan husband and mother-in-law to Christianity as well as her son, Augustine. She was the model of a virtuous mother who nourished her faith through prayer and witnessed to it through her acts of charity.

Through prayer we communicate with God. He speaks to us if we take the time to quiet ourselves and listen. Throughout the gospels we hear of Jesus praying. Even the Son of God prayed! This is how he communicated with his Father. During the Sermon on the Mount he told the people that they must pray for those who persecute you. He taught them how to pray, giving them the Lord’s Prayer. Chapter 17 of John’s gospel is The Prayer of Jesus. It begins with Jesus raising his eyes to heaven and saying, “Father, the hour has come. Give glory to your son, so that your son may glorify you.” (John 17:1) The time has come for his Passion and he is praying to his Father so that he may glorify him. He speaks about praying for us, not just his disciples but “for those who will believe in me through their word, so that they may all be one, as you, Father, are in me and I in you, that they may also be in us, that the world may believe that you sent me.” (John 17:20-21) In prayer, Jesus is in communion with the Father. Jesus teaches his disciples and us how to converse with God so that we can be in communion with him as well. At the Last Supper and at every Mass it is through prayer that bread and wine become the Body and Blood of our Lord, Jesus Christ. And during the Agony in the Garden, he taught us the ultimate prayer, one of complete surrender. “Father, if you are willing, take this cup away from me; still, not my will but yours be done.” (Luke 22:42).

 In the Gospels, Jesus converses with God. In a good conversation, two people share part of their lives with each other. Likewise, Christ converses with us through his passion, death, and resurrection. By reading Scripture, we converse with him and grow in his life. In communal and private prayer we become one with Christ who is one with God. We fulfill, then, Jesus' own prayer to the Father about us, “that they may be one just as we are.” (Michael Patella)

He Refreshes My Soul

Work has been incredibly hard lately. It is one death after another. Last week there were two only a few hours apart. One relapse after another; new diagnosis after new diagnosis. Why? Why? Why? Isn’t it too much for a single mom to give birth to a healthy baby girl one day and hold her dead son in her arms the very next day?

Several months ago I was in this same place, questioning if I can continue to do this work and I reached out to a friend asking for his prayers. He told me to remain strong; that I can’t shed a tear because I need to be an example of faith and hope for these families. My first response was, “He doesn’t get it.” Stuffing my feelings down isn’t going to help anyone. I need to grieve. But as I reflected on his words, telling me to be a sign of faith for them, I began to understand what he meant. I need to remind them that this is only temporary and they will see their child again. My faith needs to shine forth for all those that I come in contact with and to trust in God’s amazing grace. I began to see these difficult times as opportunities to be faith-filled and a witness to my belief in eternal life. My friend helped me to see that I need to set aside my own grief when I am with the family and be strong for them. And when I am alone with the Lord I can shed my tears and allow Him to refresh my soul so that I can continue to do His work.

This particular patient was a teenage girl who lived a couple of weeks longer than we expected and it was a blessing for the family. During this time she told her parents that the thing she was most sad about was that she would never get to really know them. She wanted to hear about their childhood so each one of them spent hours sharing their life with her. Her father had a very rough childhood full of abuse but he shared all of this with her. When he was finished she thanked her dad for sharing his life with her. Her mom did the same thing, talking about her first boyfriend and the things she did with her sisters growing up. What an amazing gift this was for her parents, how many of us would think to do this when we were dying?

I will take this advice once again as I settle in for the night. I will shed my tears for the beautiful baby girl and her family we had to tell today that the scan showed her lungs to also be full of cancer and there is no treatment to offer them. Our job now is to keep her comfortable so the family can enjoy what time she has left on this earth making memories that will last a life time. I will shed my tears for the child who relapsed today, for the child who died yesterday and the child who was newly diagnosed on Wednesday. I will allow the Holy Spirit to refresh my soul so when I go back to work on Monday I will be a sign of faith and hope to my families that I have the privilege of caring for. 

Be Vigilant

“One thing that will always secure heaven for us: acts of charity and kindness with which we have filled our lives. We will never know how much good just a simple smile can do. We tell people how kind, forgiving and understanding God is – are we the living proof? Can they really see this kindness, this forgiveness, this understanding in us?” Mother Teresa

Today’s gospel is about being vigilant, always being prepared for the coming of Christ because we do don’t know the day or the hour that our Lord will come. As Christians we know what we are called to do but sometimes we want to be selfish. We are tired and don’t want to give of ourselves. I know there are times that I sleep in an extra hour instead of going to daily Mass; sometimes at work I walk quickly down the hallways, not making eye contact because I don’t want to notice that someone may need my attention; or at home I let the boys park themselves in front of the TV instead of trying to engage them in conversation or an activity we can do together. I need to put aside my selfish desires and embrace these opportunities that I am blessed with to be the hands and feet of Christ.

I want to be more like Christ not out of fear that my Master will come and “punish him severely and assign him a place with the hypocrites, where there will be wailing and grinding of teeth.” (Matthew 24:51) But because that is what it means to be a Christian, to serve the Lord by serving others. We don’t need for the Lord to come and place us with the hypocrites. We know in our hearts the times that we are hypocrites. I don’t want to be an example for others to point at and say, “She claims to be a Christian but look at ______.” I can fill in the blank with the times I have gossiped, allowed my pride to keep me from seeking forgiveness or from offering forgiveness, turning my back on someone who needs a hug or an ear to listen, etc. I want to do what the Master asks of me not out of fear but out of love and gratitude for loving me even when I don’t deserve it. 

The Face of Christ

When I began my journey toward healing, God placed some very faithful and holy people in my path. They taught me how to pray and to open my heart to God. A couple of them asked what image came to mind when I thought of Jesus. At the time I didn’t have any one image in particular. A priest told me to look at images of Jesus and find one that touched my heart because it would make Him more real to me. There are so many images of Jesus but there wasn’t the connection I was hoping for when looking at them. Fr. told me to pray about it. A few days later I was in the library at Mt. Carmel Center and came across this picture of Christ. It was on a 3.5 x 4.5 card with words in Spanish on the back. I didn’t know what the words meant but I knew this was the image that I had prayed for. Jesus’ eyes penetrated my heart and love and peace poured forth from the picture. I asked Fr. Stephen if he would mind if I kept it. He said that he didn’t know where it came from and, yes, I could keep it. I knew it was a gift from God.

I was able to translate the words on the back and will share a few with you. It is titled, Mensaje de Jesús, Message of Jesus. Avoid the worries and anxieties and thoughts about what might happen next. Do not spoil my plans, wanting to impose your ideas. Let me be God and act freely. Rest in me… often tell me, ‘Jesus, I trust in you’… and you will see miracles.

I needed a beautiful image of Christ to connect more deeply with him and God answered my prayer. The words on the card were just another reassurance that it was from God because he knows how anxious my heart can get and is calling me to trust in him. 

Cleansing Our Hearts

“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, you hypocrites. You cleanse the outside of cup and dish, but inside they are full of plunder and self-indulgence. Blind Pharisees, cleanse first the inside of the cup, so that the outside also may be clean.” (Matthew 23:25-26)

We often spend so much time focusing on our outward appearance; not only physically, our clothes, shoes, hair, makeup, accessories, etc, but on our actions as well.  We want recognition for the good that we do; we pat ourselves on the back. But the real focus should be on what is in our hearts. This can be very difficult. We don’t want to see the areas in our hearts where sin looms; the selfish, prideful, jealous and hateful side of ourselves. It is crushing to our ego so we often don’t look at it.  We busy ourselves with the things that make us look good. “While evasion and distractions draw us away from the road to real happiness, prayer brings us back to what is most authentic in man’s quest for happiness. ‘The truth will set you free’. Prayer makes us free; it preserves what is most fragile and most precious in us: the integrity of our desire, that desire which, in final analysis, is nothing but the need for God.” (Fr. Bernard Bro)

It is through prayer that God will help us to see what needs to change in our lives. Through prayer we receive the grace necessary to do God’s will. I pray for God to reveal to me the areas in my heart that need to be purified. And when I am really open to this, it is painful. But as I slowly become the person he created me to be, I can see the beauty in the cross. I pray for him to burn away all that is not of him, and as I am being refined, I begin to see his light shine forth. This isn’t a onetime thing, but a daily process that will continue until we are with him in heaven. And while this can be discouraging at times, there is comfort in knowing that our final destination will be more glorious than we can imagine. To be with Him is what our heart truly desires, nothing less.

The Queenship of Mary

I have learned a lot since beginning my blog. Knowing that others are going to read it increases my desire to delve deeper into my faith. To spend more time in reflection and to discern what it is that God is revealing to me. The daily gospel or reading often reminds me of other passages in scripture that help to pull it all together. I use my Magnificat when reading the daily scripture selected for Mass. In the Magnificat I learn about the saints. I never grew up learning about the saints so I don’t know much about any of them and it is not natural for me to look to them for guidance or intercessory prayer. I am also learning about feast days that I never knew about. I never knew there was a Memorial for The Queenship of the Blessed Virgin Mary but that is what today is.

“Mary has a right to be loved as Queen of all hearts so that, through her, hearts would be cleansed and themselves become immaculate, similar and like unto her own heart, and so worthy of union with God. A queen enjoys full power, even with regard to the king. Mary’s fullness of power is expressed in her intercession for us and her meditation of graces, so that we receive all personal graces from God.” (Saint Maximilian Kolbe)

After reading this quote I began to do a little research on St. Maximilian Kolbe and got a deeper understanding of our Blessed Mother. God knows the longing in my heart to have a relationship with Mary. To have a spark ignited in my heart so that I will desire to reach out to her, to pray to her for intercession and to look to her as the ultimate example of humility. I patiently wait for God’s hand in this and in the meantime continue to pray the Rosary and read other’s reflections on Mary to have a deeper understanding of her role in salvation history. I love this picture of Blessed John Paul II in the arms of our Mother, Mary and long to have a love for Mary just as he did. 

 

Immaculate Mary, your praises we sing. You reign now in splendor with Jesus our King. Ave, Ave, Ave Maria. Ave, Ave, Maria.

Building His Church

 “And so I say to you, you are Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church, and the gates of the netherworld shall not prevail against it.” (Matthew 16:18)

During his homily this morning, the priest mentioned that Jesus said, I will build, not that I have built my church upon this rock. This is because the Church is continually being built. We are building the Church. Jesus chose Peter to be the instrument by which He opened heaven to the world. Peter, the man who would deny Jesus three times, was given the keys to the kingdom! Saul is another good example of how the Holy Spirit can transform us. Saul didn’t want to merely contain Christianity; he wanted to rid the earth of Christianity and its followers. He sought out to arrest Christians and bring them back to Jerusalem for punishment. But the Holy Spirit is able to convert even the hardest of hearts. Saul not only became a Christian, but he was a powerful evangelist who proclaimed Christ more clearly and powerfully than anyone had previously done in Damascus. We are also called to evangelize; to spread the Good News in our homes, our places of work, our schools and with each person that God places in our lives each day.

Every time we gather for Mass, the Church is living out what Christ commanded himself, to eat my flesh and drink my blood. “The Church does not cease to listen to his words. She rereads them continually. With the greatest devotion she reconstructs every detail of his life. It is his life that speaks, his humanity, his fidelity to the truth, his all-embracing love.” (Blessed John Paul II) Through the Sacrifice of the Mass our sins are forgiven, we are nourished with the words of Christ; we hear how we are to live out our lives. We are nourished with the body and blood of our Lord, Jesus Christ. And we are sent forth to love and serve the Lord; to build up the Church.

Practice What You Preach

“The scribes and the Pharisees have taken their seat on the chair of Moses. Therefore, do and observe all things whatsoever they tell you, but do not follow their examples. For they preach but they do not practice. They tie up heavy burdens hard to carry and lay them on people’s shoulders, but will not lift a finger to move them. All their works are performed to be seen.” (Matthew 23:2-5)

Today’s gospel reminds me of a situation I found myself in last year. We had a priest that would visit our parish from time to time. In his homilies he would often speak about forgiveness, pride and humility. And he spoke the Truth. How often do we have to forgive? Seven times seventy. Pride is the root of all evil, all sin. In order to be disciples we must deny ourselves and take up our cross. As Christians we are called to fall on our knees and repent for the wrong we have done to others.

The problem was that I experienced a situation where he did not practice what he preached and I found myself caught up in it. How can he go on and on about loving others, setting aside our pride and asking for forgiveness when we have hurt others, yet be unwilling to do the same? I found myself falling into sin. I was pointing out the splinter in his eye, making it out to be a wooden beam, and not even realizing how sinful my actions were. I was complaining about the heavy burden he placed on my shoulders and then turned his back on me.

“When legitimate authority does not practice what it preaches, that is no excuse for those under it to do the same. Such behavior is an adolescent projection of one’s own responsibility onto the authority figure in order to be released from the demands of one’s own conscience.” (Companion God, p. 273)

I was using his behavior as an excuse to justify my own sinful behavior. And the only way that I was able to get beyond this was to do as he preached. I had to humble myself, let go of my pride and forgive him. It was not an easy thing. I wrestled with God, asking him “Why?” There were times that I thought it was all behind me but then something would trigger the pain and anger, usually someone talking about how great he is. And I would again have to turn to our Lord and ask him to reveal to me what needed to be done. I am now at peace with the whole ordeal and able to be in his presence without feeling like I am going to crumble.

I have learned a lot from this experience and my trust in God has been strengthened. We are all sinners, we are all broken, and we all lash out and hurt others. I also realized that I sometimes expect too much from people. I don’t think I put them on a pedestal but maybe that is what I do. I now remind myself daily that only God is worthy of my praise. There is only one Savior and it is Jesus Christ. 

I Will Rise

“There’s a peace I’ve come to know, though my heart and flesh may fail. There’s an anchor for my soul, I can say ‘it is well.’ Jesus has overcome and the grave is overwhelmed. The victory is won. He is risen from the dead. And I will rise when he calls my name, no more sorrow, no more pain. I will rise on eagles’ wings before my God, fall on my knees. And rise, I will rise” (I Will Rise by Chris Tomlin)

I love this song by Chris Tomlin. It brings me peace, especially when I think about my mom dying of cancer and of all my patients who have died of cancer. Yesterday I was privileged to be there with my patient when God called his name. There was no more sorrow or pain for Camren. It was 9 weeks and two days ago that he arrived at the hospital for what we thought were his last few hours here on earth but God had other plans. My meditation on 7/13 was about Camren; wondering what was God’s plan. Why was he still here when physiologically, it shouldn’t have been possible? I thought at the time it was for Camren to be a witness of God’s love. But as the weeks went by and his body continued to be ravaged by his cancer and his pain was harder and harder to control, I couldn’t understand. Why did he have to suffer so much? His parents were so exhausted from spending all those nights at the hospital with no reprieve. I prayed daily for God to wrap his loving arms around Camren and his parents and to fill them with peace. I prayed for the staff; that we might be filled with compassion, and for strength.

Yesterday I had back to back meetings in the afternoon and left my first meeting a few minutes early to go see Camren one more time. I had been by to see him twice already and knew that he was getting close. He was less responsive and his breathing had become more irregular. I sat beside his bed and held his hand. His eyes were opened ever so slightly and he was looking at his mom who was talking to his dad and the social worker. His eyes shifted over toward me and I saw a single tear escape from his right eye and trickle down his cheek. At that moment he took his last breath and his heart quit beating. I placed my hand on his chest for a minute to make sure that he was gone and then turned to his parents and let them know that Camren had passed away. I thank God for giving me the privilege to be present at such an intimate and profound moment in this family’s life. To witness him leaving this life, and being carried on eagles’ wings to our God.

“Do not be afraid of anything that you are going to suffer. Remain faithful until death, and I will give you the crown of glory.” (Revelation 2:10)

God’s Generosity

“Are you envious because I am generous?” (Matthew 20:15)

Today’s gospel about the vineyard workers, Matthew 20:1-16, is a reminder that God’s ways are not our ways. Our God is generous beyond human calculations. God will welcome into his kingdom any sinner who repents. The person who commits horrendous sins against others can repent on his death bed and be welcomed into his kingdom just as Mother Teresa, who gave up everything and cared for some of the poorest and sickest in the world; will be welcomed into his kingdom. Remember how compassionate Jesus was to the criminal hanging on the cross next to him? Moments before this man’s death, he encounters Christ. “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom. He replied to him, ‘Amen, I say to you, today you will be with me in Paradise.’” (Luke 23:42-43)

I am so thankful that God has been so generous with me but sometimes I look around and think, “That isn’t fair!” I am jealous, just as the brother of the prodigal son was jealous because his father slaughtered the fattened calf even though his brother had squandered his inheritance on a life of dissipation. He served his father all those years and never disobeyed him yet his father never even gave him a young goat to feast on with his friends. (Luke 15:11-32) This selfish way of thinking even enters my mind in regards to my sinfulness. I know that God is forgiving and I tell myself that I can go to confession and my sins will be forgiven once I get finished indulging in my sin; once I am ready to give it up. We should be joyful for every sinner that God welcomes into his vineyard; joyful that we will all receive the promise of salvation no matter when that occurs. But sometimes we can’t help but think that some of us deserve more than others. We put God on the same level as ourselves and he is beyond our comprehension. His love and generosity is beyond our imagination.

“To be invited to work for God, to tend his vineyard, the church and the kingdom, is a grace unmerited. To work there is a privilege that should be joy ̶ to echo the gift-giving generosity of God. Any payment, any reward is not reward at all but additional grace.” (Companion God, p.240)

Heavenly Father,

Thank you for your unfailing love. Help me to rejoice with every person who turns to you. Give me the desire and strength to turn away from sin now, not when I am ready to give it up. Forgive me for the sin of presumption and for being envious of your generosity. Help me to not compare my situation to others but to focus on my relationship with you; being thankful for your love and striving to be the person you created me to be. I ask these things through Christ our Lord. Amen. 

Do You Believe?

A woman on the prayer team at St. Ann‘s taught me how to pray the gospels. The gospels that she had me focus on dealt with healing since this is an area that I needed much prayer. After reading the gospel passage, you are to “find one or more resting places in the passage. Let this be from God, don’t go searching for hidden meanings, just allow God to speak.” Two years ago I prayed with Matthew 9:27-29, about the healing of two blind men. The words that God spoke to me were, “Let it be done for you according to your faith.” My husband and I were dealing with a very difficult situation and I was feeling hopeless. This situation had happened over and over and I didn’t believe things would ever change. If I didn’t have faith that this would ever change and that our marriage could grow stronger then it wouldn’t happen. In the gospel passage Jesus asks the blind men, “Do you believe that I can do this?” And he was asking me the same thing about my marriage. Did I believe that our marriage could be what the Lord desired it to be? My lack of faith was keeping me blind to the good things that were happening in our marriage. I was totally focused on our problem.

Today my husband and I are celebrating our 25^th wedding anniversary. We have been blessed. We have had our share of trials but the Lord has been with us through each storm. Our marriage is truly a gift from God. For many years I feared that David would leave me. Not for any specific reason, but since I had lived in fear most of my life and had dealt with much rejection, I just assumed that he would leave me too. I can look back and see that I never gave of myself completely to our marriage because I was afraid. I figured if I didn’t make myself completely vulnerable than a part of me would be salvageable when he left. The wall that I had built around my heart, determined to let no one in, prevented David from knowing me completely or from being able to love me completely. Sometimes our troubles seemed insurmountable and I didn’t believe that God could make it better. I felt hopeless.

But through my healing I have learned that it is ok to be vulnerable and that this is the only way that love can grow. It doesn’t prevent pain and as a matter of fact, until I learned that you can be vulnerable and protect your heart, I opened myself up too much, trusting others even when they had proven themselves to be otherwise. I have learned to find that balance. I also had to learn that after God, your spouse should be the next most important person in your life. I never believed this because so many marriages ended in divorce. My husband may leave me but I will always be a mother. But I learned that your children learn about love through their parents’ love for one another. If they see us united, even through the most difficult situations, they will learn to persevere. Even though David is not Catholic, we are united in bringing up our boys in the Catholic faith and this allows their faith to be strong. In are home we are kind to one another, we treat each other with respect and we all pitch in and take care of things. We cook together, work in the yard together and we have fun together. This is what love and family are all about.

I have learned to embrace my marriage, to make myself vulnerable, trusting in God’s love for us. And I know in my heart that we will remain together until death do us part. 

Mary’s Assumption

Today is the Solemnity of the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary

“Today the virgin Mother of God was taken up into heaven to be the beginning and the pattern of the Church in its perfection, and a sign of hope and comfort for your people on their pilgrim way.” (From the Preface of the Assumption)

Just as Mary was taken up to heaven and is triumphant in heavenly glory, we too, will one day share in Christ’s resurrection. The whole Church, in its perfection, will share in His resurrection. Christ handed himself over for the Church; to sanctify her, cleansing her, so that she may be holy and without blemish. (Ephesians 5:25-27) We aren’t meant for this world, it is our pilgrimage to our true home, heaven. But it is in this world that we are purified and made holy. We learn to die unto ourselves so that we may be perfectly united with Christ on the cross. And it is only through death that we can share in his resurrection.

“God knows and loves the whole human being, what we are. And God welcomes into his eternity what is developing and becoming now, in our life made up of suffering and love, of hope, joy, and sorrow. The whole of man, the whole of his life, is taken by God and, purified in him, receives eternity…” (Pope Benedict XVI) God is united with us in this world. We are moving toward Him. He gives us strength during our trials, he comforts us in our sorrow, and he rejoices with us in our times of joy. The things of this world that are precious to us will not fall into ruin; instead they will find fullness in God. The old order will pass away and he will make all things new. (Revelation 21:4-5)

Because Mary is with God and in God, she is close to each of us. Our blessed Mother helps us to seek God and to live in His love. She knows our hearts, hears our prayers and takes them to her Son. She is our intercessor. She is our hope.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee; blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen. 

Perseverance

Again we have the gospel from Matthew about the Canaanite women who approaches Jesus regarding her daughter who is tormented by demons. No matter how many times I read this gospel or hear an explanation of it, I always think that Jesus is being harsh. Couldn’t he have found a gentler way to encourage this woman to have more faith? To be persistent in her prayer?

In his homily today, Fr. Jason states that, “The main point of this account of the Canaanite woman is that all people are called to have stronger faith and all are fed by God’s hand. Whether one is Gentile or Jew; rich or poor. All are fed. “

He goes on to say in his homily, “Maybe we are being challenged in our prayer to change an aspect of our lives. Perhaps we are wrestling with some truth of the Church and the Lord keeps challenging us in it. During these times the Lord is trying to bolster our faith. He does both out of love.” This is where I find myself, being called to change an aspect of my life. The Lord has been patient with me, giving me time to understand where this situation came from, to see that it was part of my healing. But now I am being challenged to let it go. I have gotten comfortable with it, and it has become a crutch that the Lord wants me to toss aside. So I pray for strength and cry out for His help when I begin to feel defeated. And I remind myself that it is out of His love for me that I am facing this challenge. He wants me to be all that I was created to be.

“Rejoice in hope, endure in affliction, persevere in prayer.” (Romans 12:12)

Serving the Lord

“Fear the LORD and serve him completely and sincerely. Cast out the gods your fathers served beyond the River and in Egypt, and serve the LORD. If it does not please you to serve the LORD, decide today whom you will serve, the gods your fathers served beyond the River or the gods of the Amorites in whose country you are dwelling. As for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.” (Joshua 24: 14-15)

There are only two choices. We can choose to serve the Lord or to serve other gods. There is no middle ground. “No one can serve two masters. He will either hate one and love the other, or be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon.” (Matthew 6:24) Choosing to serve the Lord is more than lip service. As a parent, how am I guiding my household to be one that serves the Lord? My husband is not Catholic but we made the decision to raise our children in the Catholic faith. It was something I was not willing to compromise on. A friend in high school was not raised in any religion. His parents said he could make that decision when they got older. He was envious that my family went to Mass together every Sunday; that we went to CCD and learned about our faith. How can he make a decision about faith when he has never been exposed to it?

We try to live as a family of service. We look for opportunities to reach out to those less fortunate. We’ve helped with different ministries through our parish. We serve meals to the homeless and to families at the Ronald McDonald House. We’ve worked in food pantries and other service projects through CCA. We’ve spent many hours at Mt. Carmel Center, helping clear the brush, repair trails, put together furniture, etc. There are so many in need. Over the years we’ve chosen things that the boys could do when they were young (like the food pantry) and as they have gotten older we choose things that are more involved and work with our busy schedules. But no matter how busy we are, it is a priority. We want God to use us to bring Christ to our small part of the world. 

Today when I was in Adoration, I was struggling with temptation and was journaling about that. I actually thought that is what I was going to write about today, but after reading today’s readings again I felt called to write about the verses in Joshua about serving the Lord. But my struggle with temptation fits with it as well. When we choose to serve the Lord, we have to invite him into every aspect of our lives. He is there in the midst of my struggle whether I am able to persevere or I give into the temptation. He is there reaching out to me when I fall, helping me to rise again. 

"A sacrifice to be real must cost, must hurt, and must empty ourselves. Give yourself fully to God. He will use you to accomplish great things on the condition that you believe much more in his love than in your weakness." (Mother Teresa)

Fear of the Lord

“That men may appreciate wisdom and discipline, may understand words of intelligence. The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge; wisdom and instruction fools despise” (Proverbs 1:2, 7).

To fear the Lord; I am finally understanding what is meant by this. I use to wonder why we should be afraid of the Lord but that is not what this means. First of all we must believe that there is a God, and as we begin to have an understanding of his all-powerfulness, the proper fear that scripture is talking about begins. I cannot even comprehend the greatness of our God, especially the extent of His love and mercy.

 “There will be rejoicing among the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” (Luke 15:10)  God wants us all to be with him in his kingdom but he reminds us that the gate is narrow, that many will attempt to go through but will not be strong enough. How can I have the strength necessary to get through the narrow gate? By leaning on Christ, by running to him for mercy when I have sinned, and nourishing my body by frequently receiving the sacraments of the Eucharist and Reconciliation.

I have to be disciplined in my faith. It needs attention every day because it doesn’t remain still. If I am not moving forward, then I am moving backward. “Absence makes the heart grow fonder” is not true when it comes to our relationship with Christ. If I do not spend time with him every day, if he is not the person I turn to throughout my day, then it is to the detriment of my own soul. When I do not spend time with Christ, then he becomes smaller in my eyes and I become greater. I think I can do things on my own. I pat myself on the back when things are going well. And when I sin, I begin to rationalize. “It wasn’t that big of a sin” or worse yet, I begin to believe it wasn’t a sin at all. And when I do become aware of my sinfulness I feel ashamed. Ashamed that I have sinned against God, ashamed that I have neglected my relationship with Him, and I begin to think it is too late to run to Him. I fall deeper into darkness.

I love this scripture on wisdom: “Stoop your shoulders and carry her and be not irked at her bonds. With all your soul draw close to her; with all your strength keep her ways. Search her out, discover her; seek her and you will find her. Then when you have her, do not let her go; thus will you afterward find rest in her, and she will become your joy. Her fetters will be your throne of majesty; her bonds, your purple cord. You will wear her as your robe of glory, bear her as your splendid crown.” (Sirach 6:26-31)

How Often Must I Forgive?

Peter asked Jesus, “Lord, if my brother sins against me, how often must I forgive him?” (Matthew 18:21)

There isn’t a limit to the number of times we must forgive others. We forgive others not for their sake, but for our own. When we harbor unforgiveness in our hearts, it eats away at us. It causes us to be bitter and angry, especially when the person feels no remorse for what they did to you or even worse, refuse to even acknowledge that they hurt you. Unforgiveness turns you into someone that you aren’t and leads you to sin. True forgiveness can only occur when God is at the center of it.

Just as we learn to love, because God loved us first, we also learn to forgive because Christ paid the ultimate price for the forgiveness of our sins, and we are called to imitate him. Forgiveness turns our stony heart back into one that is capable of loving again. It removes the veil from our eyes and we are able to see beyond our hatred. I also learned that we have to allow the person who sinned against us the opportunity to ask for forgiveness.

It took me years to really forgive my father for the abuse I endured through his sins. But my Spiritual Director helped me to see that I had to overcome my fear and give him the opportunity to ask for forgiveness as well. I was terrified to be alone with my dad and made sure that it never happened. But last summer when I was back home visiting, my dad invited me to go to Mass with him. I usually met him there but this time I allowed him to pick me up. After Mass, instead of taking me back to my sister’s house, he drove to his house. I began to panic; my heart was racing, I felt as if I would vomit, and I wanted to jump out of the car. I had reverted back to that 15 year old girl who was terrified. I began to pray for God to protect me from harm and to bring me peace. My dad had recently been on an ACTS retreat and when we got to his house, he told me that during the retreat, several people spoke about forgiveness and how important it was to ask for forgiveness from the person we have offended. He told me that he had asked God many times to forgive him for what he did to me, and he needed to ask the same from me. He apologized and told me that he hoped that one day I could also forgive him. I told him that I had already forgiven him. 

The first person I called was my Spiritual Director and he said, “Praise God!” When I told my counselor, she was literally speechless. She said that it is so rare that the perpetrator seeks forgiveness from their victim. I knew it was truly a gift from God. Things are still hard between me and my dad, but slowly a trust is beginning to develop. If I had been too afraid to be alone with my dad, he would have never had the chance to apologize because it is not something he could do with others present. And that would have been a loss for both of us.

“Be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving one another as God has forgiven you in Christ.” (Ephesians 4:32) 

Surrender

“Amen, amen, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains just a grain of wheat; but if it dies, it produces much fruit.” (John 12:24)

Dying unto myself requires me to surrender totally to God. Not just in the big things but in the everyday things as well. I am a planner, I like to make sure things are organized and set in place as much as possible. It helps me to be less anxious. When I was planning our 25^th wedding anniversary Mass, I picked out the music and the readings. I emailed them to Fr. Jason to look over. All of our planning had been through email so I asked if we could meet for 15 minutes just to touch base and make sure we were on the same page. This was his response; I think that what you have is fine. The readings you have selected look good. Sure, no problem with having people read and the music. I think it is best to try to keep it simpler than more complex. This is a holy time for you and your husband. It is a time of celebrating 25 years of marriage. Sometimes the details can get in the way. Be at peace with what you have and I will see you around 11:30-11:40 on Saturday.”

I couldn’t believe that he wouldn’t meet with me! If he only knew how much that would decrease my anxiety. But I left it alone and asked God to help me be at peace and to focus on this holy time like Fr. Jason mentioned. I needed to trust that it would all fall into place, just as He planned it and not get in the way. Fr. Jason forcing me to just trust and be at peace was actually a blessing. And the day was perfect. The Mass and the music were so beautiful and we were surrounded in prayer by our friends.

Growing up, my home life was so chaotic and this is why I like to plan things. I think I am in control and that I am decreasing my anxiety when in fact it often does the opposite. Things rarely happen the way we plan them. Being able to “go with the flow” and placing it all in God’s hands is what will bring me peace and alleviate my anxiety. I need to be open so that He can surprise me. Each and every day we need to place ourselves in his hands and allow him to fashion us into the person he created us to be.

 “Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God.” (Philippians 4:6)

Complete Dependence

“Amen, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will not enter the Kingdom of heaven. Whoever becomes humble like this child is the greatest in the Kingdom of heaven. And whoever receives one child such as this in my name receives me.” (Matthew 18:3-5)

Just as children are completely dependent on and trust their parents, we must do the same in our relationship with God. When we are humble we let go of our pride, our selfishness and put complete trust in our heavenly Father. Humility is a great virtue and “above all it represents the very way in which God himself behaves. It is the path chosen by Christ. It is not about giving up anything, but about courage. It’s not about defeat, but it’s the result of love’s victory over selfishness, and of grace over sin.  Following Christ and imitating Mary, we must have the courage of humility; we must entrust ourselves with humility to the Lord because only then can we become docile instruments in his hands, and have the permission to do great things.”(Pope Benedict XIV)

I love working with children. They are so open and honest and tell it like it is. They sometimes give us a glimpse into their home life that their parents wish we didn’t know. When we have to do something to a child that they don’t like, such as giving them a shot, and profanity comes flying out of the mouth of a three year old, you know that this is what they are exposed to at home. The parent is often embarrassed and makes a comment about not knowing where they learned to speak like that.

We have to do terrible things to these children in order to kill their cancer, we access their port with a needle; we stick needles in their back to get bone marrow or give chemotherapy into their spinal fluid. We infuse medicine into them that makes their hair fall out and causes them to be nauseated and vomit. We make their parents cry. But surprisingly, and often very quickly, they realize that we are doing this not to be mean but to make them better. We are on their side and we love them. It breaks my heart when they say “thank you” after having just started an IV on them or done something that was painful. Of course we also do things to help. We use numbing cream before an injection. We put them to sleep before doing a bone marrow aspirate or spinal tap and give them medicine to hopefully prevent the nausea and vomiting.

Sometimes it is that way with God. We have to endure things that are horrible. We can’t see the big picture and can’t imagine that anything good will come out of this. But we have to trust him and believe that it is all for His glory. We have to quit fighting and surrender our will to his. He wants to heal us and he does these things because he loves us. 

Finding Peace

Yesterday I had this presence of sorrow all around me. I tried to stay busy so it wouldn’t press in on me. I am not sure why it was there. Saturday was a wonderful day. We had a beautiful Mass to celebrate our 25^th wedding anniversary. It was in the beautiful chapel at St. Monica’s, celebrated by a holy servant of our Lord, Fr. Jason and we were surrounded by our friends. And Sunday was spent together as a family at home. Maybe the sorrow was because I was missing my mom. I really miss her when something special is happening in my life.

Growing up, our relationship was tumultuous. For whatever reason, I was the person she took out all her anger on. I was afraid to be around her because I never knew when she was going to lash out at me. I always felt like I was walking on egg shells when I was around her. I tried so hard to predict what she wanted me to say or do. I desperately wanted her to love me. Once I became an adult, things slowly began to change. It became a little easier to be around her. I remember one Mother’s Day after she opened the card I gave to her, she asked me how I could love her after the way she treated me. That was the only time that anything was ever mentioned about the way things were growing up.

She was never the person I called when things were difficult in my life. But she was a nurse and I could talk to her about my work. She had also buried three of her children, so she could understand what the families I took care of were going through when their child was dying. And after I went through Christ Renews His Parish (CRHP) and fell in love with our Lord, we talked about our faith. When my mom was diagnosed with cancer, I was able to stay with her at the hospital as she recovered from surgery. We never had any deep conversations but we each knew that the other one loved us and that this time was a gift from God. I was able to take care of my mom and give back to her some of the love she gave in raising 9 children. I was able to help her shower and get dressed, help her walk the halls and be there by her side when the doctor told her that the cancer had spread to her lymph nodes and that she would have to receive chemotherapy. During the next 2-½ years, I went home as often as I could to be there for her treatments and doctor visits. I got to hear her tell me that she loved me and that she thought I was a great mom. She told me that she was proud of me.

Since her death on September 16, 2009, there have been many times that I have wanted to pick up the phone and tell her about what is going on in my life. If I could do it over again, I would put my fear behind me and reach out to her more often. I would turn the other cheek when she was hateful to me and tell her that I loved her. I think that is why this sorrow has been pressing in on me; I wanted to share with her the joyous day we had on Saturday.

“Blessed are they who mourn, for they will be comforted.” (Matthew 5:4)

Walking on Water

Again today we have the gospel from Matthew where Peter walked on water. It is a perfect example of faith and God’s love for us. In our lives there are times when things are calm and peaceful and other times there are storms raging around us. There are times that things terrify us, just as the disciples were terrified because they thought that Jesus was a ghost. Sometimes during our storms we don’t even recognize that Jesus is there with us. There have been terrifying moments in my life and I never knew that Jesus was there with me. It was only through the healing of these wounds that others were able to show me that Jesus was there with me. We were united, crucified on the cross.

Peter knew that Jesus had the ability to make him walk on water. He wanted to be out there with Jesus, on the water, trusting him, not sitting safe in the boat. And Peter was able to walk on the water when his eyes were fixed on Christ. “Everything is possible to one who has faith.” (Mark 9:23) When we are faced with challenges in our lives that seem insurmountable or face things that terrify us, we can take comfort in the words that Christ spoke to the disciples, “Take courage, it is I; do not be afraid.” (Matthew 14:27)

But one of the most amazing things about God’s love for us is that he is ALWAYS there for us. Just as Peter took his eyes off of Christ and became frightened by the storms around him, we too become frightened and overwhelmed when we take our eyes off of Christ. And every time we begin sinking and cry out as Peter did, “Lord, save me!” Jesus will immediately stretch out his hand and catch us. Our love for others is limited; we get tired of putting our trust in others just to have them do the same thing again and again. There is a fine line between loving someone through difficulties such as an addiction and enabling them to continue with their addiction. And we can only do this with the help of Christ. How often do we repeat the same sin over and over? We go to confession and in our Act of Contrition we pray that “we firmly resolve with the help of your grace to sin no more and to avoid the occasions of sin.” And yet we are back there again the next time with the same sins to confess. We can overcome the sins that hold us in bondage but it takes surrender and God’s grace. And Christ will always be there, ready to save us, when we again begin to sink; we need only to cry out to him. 

The Transfiguration

Today is the Feast of the Transfiguration. “The resplendence of the Transfiguration reveals the fullness of life destined to be ours. As we peer into the glory that pours from every pore of the transfigured Christ, we cast off everything unworthy of our personal relationship with the Infinite, and we take on the luster of the Son of God. Jesus gazes back at us with a luminous look of love that makes us desire to live his transparent beauty – to be luminaries. Silently from Tabor’s splendor, the Savior begs: ‘Become what you behold!’” (Magnificat)

In the main church at my parish, the apse painting above the altar depicts the Transfiguration. It is a beautiful reminder of the promised glory. I had the privilege of going on a pilgrimage to the Holy Land in December 2006 and we went to Mt. Tabor. It was so beautiful the day we were there. Low lying clouds gave a sense of mystique to this sacred place. I was speaking with some friends today who have also been to the Holy Land. We were talking about how you never look at things the same after being there. Advent and Christmas, Lent and Easter take on a whole new meaning. Even Mass isn’t quite the same. As the gospel’s is read you can picture yourself in that place and time.

“This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased, listen to him.” (Matthew 17:5)

Heavenly Father,

Open my heart to the words of your Son, Jesus the Christ. Burn away all that is not of you so that the glory that pours forth from your Son will also shine forth from me. I long to hear the words, ‘This is my beloved daughter, with whom I am well pleased.’ I ask these things through our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, forever and ever. Amen.

Taking Up Our Cross

“Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me." (Matthew 16: 24)

Christ came and paid the ultimate price so that we may have eternal life. He did this for us. Our daily crosses can’t compare to what Christ did for us. “In him we have redemption by his blood, the forgiveness of transgressions, in accord with the riches of his grace.” (Ephesians 1:7) But the cross he carried to his crucifixion isn’t the only cross he bore.

Throughout his ministry he bore the same crosses that we are called to carry. He dealt with temptation, he was betrayed by his closest friends, he felt abandoned by his father, he wept over the death of his friend Lazarus; rumors were spread about him and he was accused of blasphemy. He was constantly being sought out by the sick and the outcast.

We will all have crosses to carry in our lives. To take up the cross is to make a conscious decision to embrace it as one’s call to follow Jesus. We can look to Christ for the perfect example of how to carry our cross with grace. He prayed often. Instead falling into despair, he cried out to his Father asking “why have you forsaken me?”  He mourned the death of his friend and comforted others in their grief. He turned the other cheek; he didn’t return the hate that he received.  He touched the leper, spoke words of love to the adulterous woman. He had great compassion for others and gave of himself constantly. When we are overwhelmed with life, we can call on Him to provide us the strength we need to continue being Christ to others and follow him.

Who Am I?

“Who do you say that I am?” Just as Jesus asked this question of Peter, he asks the same question of each of us. He is my All, my Rock, my Savior, my Redeemer, my Healer. He is my guiding Light. He leads me on the path to righteousness. He is my Truth.

If I truly believe that Jesus Christ is all these things to me then I have to live my life that way. If I believe that he is my strength, then during times of temptation I need to call upon Him instead of struggling on my own. If he is my Healer then I need to reveal to him all my woundedness and brokenness. I need to place it before him instead of trying to cover it up or stuff it down deep inside. If he my guiding light then I need to allow him to shine his light on the path that leads me to him instead of stumbling around in the darkness of sin. If he is the Bread of Life, then I need to nourish my soul with his Body and Blood which give me strength. If he is the Truth then I need to continually meditate on his Word, striving to get more meaning out of it to find the help and guidance for the demands that life brings. I need to make his Truth my own truth so that I can live the life I am called to live.

“Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah. For flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but my heavenly Father.” (Matthew 16:17) Just as Simon Peter, our faith does not come through human means but through a revelation by God. It is pure gift. And just as Jesus was pleased with Peter for embracing this gift, he is pleased with us when we accept his gift of faith and use it to draw closer to him.

“Remain faithful until death, and I will give you the crown of life. I will give the victor the right to sit with me on my throne, as I myself first won the victory and sit with my Father on his throne.” (Revelation 2:10 & 3:21)

Have Pity on Me

Today’s gospel is about the Canaanite woman who asks Jesus to have pity on her and tells him that her daughter is tormented by a demon. When she cries out to Jesus the first time he ignores her. And the next time he responds by saying, “It is not right to take the food of the children and throw it to the dogs.” (Matthew 15:26)

I never understood this gospel or why Jesus would speak to her this way. She is begging him to have pity on her. She acknowledges who he is, Son of David. But he ignores her pleas. So I am going to share with you an explanation of this gospel that helped me to understand it.

“The Canaanite woman is asking for the impossible, that the Son of David would help her. She is treated like a dog! But instead of running away, like a dog, whose master throws a fit, she bows down before him and begs for the fallen scraps. She is a woman of great faith. She does not bow down to offense, or turn around and walk away. She turns the other cheek. She bears the infirmities of the world to cure the infirmity her daughter bears, for she loves her more than the world! She will not allow her daughter to suffer any longer. She will suffer for her. She is a woman on a mission and she would prefer to die for her daughter rather than return empty handed to her dying daughter. Jesus perfectly understands this woman. She is living what he is living! The Canaanite is experiencing what the Lord asks from us: purification, conversion and imitation.” (Fr. Alfonse Nazarro)

This gospel also illustrates the power of persistent prayer. Often times we feel that God doesn’t hear our pleas; he doesn’t say a word in answer to our prayers, the same as Jesus did to the woman. We may feel all alone and as more burdens are placed on us, we wonder where God is. But we must always remain hopeful.  “For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor present things, nor future things, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:38-39)

The Power of Words

“It is not what enters one’s mouth that defiles the man; but what comes out of the mouth is what defiles one.” (Matthew 15:11) 

Our words are very powerful and we need to think before we speak. Scripture reminds us that although the tongue is small it is very powerful. “With it we bless the Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing.” (James 3:9-10) I am sure we have all intentionally said something hurtful to someone else, often times to those we love the most. Our emotions get the best of us and before we think, hurtful words are spewing out of our mouths. And once they are said, it is very difficult if not impossible to undo the pain we have caused. “A blow from a whip raises a welt, but a blow from the tongue smashes bones; many have fallen by the sword, but not as many as by the tongue.” (Sirach 28:17-18)

Our words can destroy relationships, lead others astray, and cause indescribable pain. And why is it that we often will believe a lie but not the truth? When we hear something bad about someone we often think, I would have never thought that about him. Well maybe we shouldn’t believe it. Maybe what we heard came from the mouth of someone who is jealous or angry. Maybe we should give the person the benefit of the doubt before we think less of them. We love to play judge and jury, condemning someone before we know the whole story. We believe someone is guilty unless they can prove they are innocent, and often times we still don’t believe them.

But just as our words can tear someone down, they can build someone up. We can make the most difficult situation more bearable with genuine words of kindness. Often times only a few words need to be spoken when speaking the truth. When Moses asked God what he should tell the people when they ask who sent him, God said to tell them, “I AM sent me to you.”  (Exodus 3:14) When Jesus was choosing his disciples he told them, “Come follow me.” And those few words were enough because they came from a reliable source who only speaks the Truth. Have you met people who can’t stop talking, yet they have nothing to say? They drive me crazy.

It takes discipline, prudence, charity and self-control to learn to bridle our tongues, but it is something we should all strive to master. "Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." Mother Teresa

Stepping Out in Faith

“Oh, what I would do to have the kind of faith it takes to climb out of this boat I'm in onto the crashing waves. To step out of my comfort zone into the realm of the unknown where Jesus is, and he's holding out his hand…” (Voice of Truth by Casting Crowns)

Today’s gospel reminds me of that song, Voice of Truth. Stepping out into the realm of the unknown takes courage and faith. This is true whether it is something we have prayed for and dreamed about, or a trial that we are being faced with. Wonderful things such as becoming a parent, starting your dream job, getting married, all require faith. While they are things we have longed for, they also take us to a place of uncertainty. And all the things we have dreamed about bring us trials as well as joy.

Peter was confident and able to walk on the water when he was focused on Jesus and walking toward him. But when he took his eyes off of Christ and became aware of the strong winds and the crashing waves, he became frightened and began to sink. Things weren’t calm when he began to walk toward Jesus on the water; the storm was still present, but he wasn’t even aware of it because his trust in Jesus provided him peace and confidence.

Stepping out of “the boat” through faith isn’t a one time event. We are continually being called by God to step out in faith. Every day offers us new opportunities to draw closer to Christ. Our trials provide us opportunities to exercise the virtues of humility and patience, and of resignation to the divine will. “When we are surrounded on all sides with tribulations, and know not what to do, we must turn to God, who alone can console us.” (St. Alphonsus Liguori) In our trials, God enriches our souls with the greatest graces. There is a closeness to God that we are able to sense during these times of tribulation that we often don’t notice during times of prosperity.

“Take away the contests of the martyrs, and you have taken away their crowns” (St. Ambrose)